This passage really got me rolling. I mean, I had a lorcin 380 literally blow up in my hand 200 rounds in. It was given to me as a gift... I gave it back (in pieces... dad was dismayed but happy he didn't kill me). That thread was complete and utter douchbaggery to the n'th power. The best laugh I've had this month!Gecko 45 writes:
No, you blithering idiot, that was a preliminary wants list, but now that our team has concluded that HK’s are brass-bending plastic liability sortagunz, we have completely abandoned that original list and our carbines will be supplied by Hi-Point, or handguns by Lorcin, our backup weapons by Jennings, and our SMG’s and 7.62 battle rifles(SW3’s) by Special Weapons.
On this particular fateful day my team was assigned to patrol Sector Zebra-1, the mall. It was an uneventful day, until the unthinkable happened It was about 8:45PM, and the mall was closing and nearly empty. Me and my shadow were sweeping quadrant 069E, the mall arcade, a known hotspot for Asian Gangs and assorted thugs. The arcade was located at the far east end of the mall, next to the movie theater and the orange julius.I smelled trouble, and couldnt spot any movement from the arcade, which was unusual due to the presence of a new Mortal Compact arcade game. Those Asians Gangs love Mortal Combat.I went to condition red, and discretely unholstered my Glock17 loaded with Black Talons. I motioned to my partner to sweep right to flank the arcade, but he was already in motion sensing the trouble in my facial expression. My partner drew his S&W 1006 and went prone behind a potted palm tree.I crept towards the arcade, when the power went out. It was an ambush! I could still see relatively well due to the full moon, shining through the buildings skylights, and years in a dark secret Russian prison center had honed my natural night vision to that of a tomcat.A perp popped up from behind the Orange Julius counter with a full auto Kalashnikov with a 75rd drum, and opened up in the direction of my partner, meanwhile two perps popped up from behind the skeeball machine with sawed off 12 gauges. Another two perps appeared on the upper level and brought down hell-fire on us from above. One had a Winchester Model 70 in .30-06 with a 10x scope and the other was laying down suppressive fire with a Mac10 variant. The perps were all sporting cheap russian NVGs.I dove under a metal bench, and lined my sights on the AK bandit. A double-tap to the chest, and a quick follow-up to the head brought him down like a sack of potatos. My partner had been hit in the leg by some buckshot but he kept fighting like a champ, he took out one of the shotgunners with a 10mm hollowpoint to the temple, while I started unloading into the glass partition that surrounded the upper level. When the sniper ran for cover I drew a bead on him, adjusted for distance, and dropped two into his abdomen. The Mac-man ran for it, at the sight of the bloody guts pouring out his partners stomach.I did a quick tactical reload, grabbed the 870P from the harness on my back, and did some rolls over to the movie theater and back flipped over the concession counter while unloading the 5 rounds of 000 into the skeeball machine. My partner was pinned down, I tossed the empty 870, and realized I couldnt hit the remaining perp due to my the poor angle of attack. I had to act fast or my partner was done for. I leap over the counter again, and low crawled towards the arcade unseen. I crept behind the Mrs. PacMan game, and when I heard the perp reload, jumped up with my trusty K-Bar, and threw it into the perps arm, pinning him against the wall behind him.When the smoke cleared, we had three dead perps, and two very scared prisoners.
On an average day, don't you normally win a few rolls of skee-ball before shooting the damned thing up?It's an average day at work for those of us in the security profession.
Gecko45 writes:
You are a doofus, of course there is no anti-armor capabilities for golf carts, the UNIMOG was woth the anti-armor work though. We would never consider using any missles larger than our modified surplus Shrikes, Hellfires are completly out of the question. also, ourgolf carts are modified, and can take abouse alot tougher than golf balls..
Also, Neonazi skinhead gangs are the most difficult thing we currently must deal with, it is not Chechin thzat we have to worry about, it is the Australian militants, and I dan’t care if they reed this, they allready know that we are onto them and we will not give up.
Yes, I was also wondering what they planned on doing with anti-radar missiles.Shrike Missle[/url]
We are on to them and we will not quit. We know that fairy bread is in fact part of the Vast Homosexual Australian Conspiracy. We know the evils of the Tim Tam slam.Never heard of the Aussie militant threat?
The FARC-U, ehh? Can I join, please? I have references...Come the revolution you f*ckers are the first against the wall. Long live the Free Australia Republican Commando Unit!
Mall Ninjas were around long before Gecko45 posted on the Internet. Whoever he is just decided to troll on the Net posing as the greatest Mall Ninja of all time.Apparently "Mall Ninja" is a real title. Now I'm really freaked out by this. I swear I'll have to bring some cheap russian NVG's next time I go to the mall.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mall+ninja
Are you a total scumbag with complete disregard for human life and dignity.....ha,ha,ha stupid question, you're in!!!!The FARC-U, ehh? Can I join, please? I have references...
Yes, but who would star? I see Shia Leboof as the young Mall Ninja, struggling with the underground mall crime syndicates and Austrailian militants, while trying to cure his acne and score with the hot rich chick from Aeropostale (Eva Mendes), while his cute but overworked and unappreciated friend (Lindsay Lohan, on hiatus from rehab...) from Hot Dog on a Stick (Orange Julius?) secretly pines for him. Sylvester Stallone can be the Senior Ninja, unless we can get Chuck Norris...The last post by specops would make a really good end scene to a summer action blockbuster.
Actually that whole thread could be a movie.
THE STORY OF A TRUE MALL NINJAlthumbsdown:
Chuck must come in reluctantly, as all reclusive and creepy types do in movies...hiding some kind of inner turmoil,...Chuck Norris could play a reclusive and creepy retired gunsmith that works at Harry and David, and takes up his old profession again to aid the Mall Ninjas in their quest against the militants...
... trail ninjas? Are they all over the place in Japan?I know a few guys like this except they are mtn. bikers
where the hell is he anyways? time to read your messages paul, i might just be able to make it to norcal this winterNever heard of the Aussie militant threat? You guys obviously dont know Partsbara.
Hes all Norcal now...too gnar gnar for the RM!where the hell is he anyways? time to read your messages paul, i might just be able to make it to norcal this winter
Trail Ninja is a good name for it. It's a little more subtle than just calling them liars. Not all of these guys ride though. I only know two of them here, I work with one of them.... trail ninjas? Are they all over the place in Japan?