Bad dates
- Thread starter AngryMetalsmith
- Start date
Fake it.
Stick a miniature crown of thorns on your dick and command her to receive the body of Christ.
Nah, I did that for 18 years. Mainstream Christianity now just annoys me to the point of wanting to gouge my eyes out.
Unfortunately I must spread rep before giving it again.
Im' gonna try this one....
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Funny thread...I'll add a few. And where are the ladies posting about some crazy ass guys they've dated? There's millions of us.
College, I was pretty into this one chick. Soccer team girl, athletic blond, always saw her at our favorite bar and chatted/flirted lots. One evening I think I'm getting somewhere, she's really focused on being near me all night, arms around me and gives a little peck on the cheek. Grabs my hand and hauls me into the girls bathroom with her...I'm thinking sweet, whatever...she proceeds to take a piss in front of me. Pulls me back out into the bar like nothing happened. I'm not sure how to react to that, but over the next few weeks I begin to notice some weird quirks...moved on from that nowhere fling...must have been blinded by the blond and body.
Met this other chick after college, actually at the DMV. Out for a couple dates, she was new to the area, seemed cool and was definitely into me
brows
. About the 5th or 6th time out we're at my best friends house boozin' it up playing card games. She can't handle it and bows out early, sits and watches for a while, then says she wants to take a nap. Asleep on my friends bed, I go to check her and she has puked all over the bedspread. I didn't even realize she was that drunk. I clean her up (and wash my buddies sheets), she's getting all belligerent and mouthy drunk with me as I try to help her out. Take her home to my place and put her to bed. I go sleep on the couch, wake up in the middle of the night with her fondling me. She just got weird(er) after that evening, I ended it pretty quick.
College, I was pretty into this one chick. Soccer team girl, athletic blond, always saw her at our favorite bar and chatted/flirted lots. One evening I think I'm getting somewhere, she's really focused on being near me all night, arms around me and gives a little peck on the cheek. Grabs my hand and hauls me into the girls bathroom with her...I'm thinking sweet, whatever...she proceeds to take a piss in front of me. Pulls me back out into the bar like nothing happened. I'm not sure how to react to that, but over the next few weeks I begin to notice some weird quirks...moved on from that nowhere fling...must have been blinded by the blond and body.
Met this other chick after college, actually at the DMV. Out for a couple dates, she was new to the area, seemed cool and was definitely into me
brows. About the 5th or 6th time out we're at my best friends house boozin' it up playing card games. She can't handle it and bows out early, sits and watches for a while, then says she wants to take a nap. Asleep on my friends bed, I go to check her and she has puked all over the bedspread. I didn't even realize she was that drunk. I clean her up (and wash my buddies sheets), she's getting all belligerent and mouthy drunk with me as I try to help her out. Take her home to my place and put her to bed. I go sleep on the couch, wake up in the middle of the night with her fondling me. She just got weird(er) after that evening, I ended it pretty quick.
Nice one for sure. I approve.
The closest I came to something like that was with the sister of a girl I had recently started dating. My girl's sister was in town from Santa Cruz (yep, that says it all). We had made a brief stop at my apartment complex so that I could pick something up. There was a party on the second floor, and I wasn't going to be more than a minute, so I left them outside thinking nothing would happen. Wrong...wrong! Upon hearing the sister yell, I come outside to find her watering my neighbor's flowers. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, but she did it with her pants around her ankles. <Shudder
Do you guys like stories? I have two more girls and dates that I had forgotten about.
Keep 'em coming reflux, makes my ex-girlfriends look like saints.
W3rd.
This girl and I dated for 2 months. As a few of you may remember, I dated an ex-NFL cheerleader this time a year ago. It was fun, she was cute and is easily the best dancer I've ever dated. Hands down, she was fine. Anyway, the two of us got together for a date 2 months in. On the way to the restaurant, the topic of breaking up with SOs came up, as a buddy of mine had recently had his heart ripped out by his fiance. I knew this chick had been in a serious relationship before me, but she then broke the news that they were engaged. "Okay, that's interesting," I think I said. She got into some detail about it, her candor was appreciated mind you, but then the other shoe dropped. This girl had been having doubts about the engagement, unbeknownst to her man. Upon coming to the realization that she no longer wanted to marry him, she broke the news and returned the ring on his birthday. We have not seen each other since that night.
http://www.azcardinals.com/cheerleaders/weekly_detail.php?PRKey=29
The moff_quigley is being thinking that The Reflux might be being the crazy one.
A couple of years ago, I escorted a deb to a pretty large party. These girls get fitted for their dresses a while before the party, so they see the need to have to maintain their proportions or even lose a bit of weight. Well, this girl wasn't the exception to the rule. She bitches and moans about how hungry she was for two hours before all the girls were introduced. No big deal. I figured that, because she had invited a few friends, I might be off the hook after a bit. No dice on that idea - she was clingy and wouldn't let me be. What's worse, she forced me to hold a variety of plates for her as we wandered through the menagerie of different foods. She literally ate a full plate of food from every table. It didn't take me long to nickname the hoover (her name was Meg, so Megalodon seemed accurate). Through the course of the night, I tried to escape many times but was caught every time and dragged back to drink and food duty. After the party, a group of us went out and Megalodon came along because she refused to let me take her home despite the fact she had already imbibed to the point of slurring and stumbling a bit. At the bar, she decided it would be a good idea to try to eat my friend's face. I thought that was hilarious until she attempted the same thing on me. I didn't want her to go nuts on me, so I told the bartender to cut her off so I could have an excuse to take her home.
Please see my sig.
As for the cheerleader, the fact that she was a complete and total bitch didn't help her standing. A wise man once said, "I don't care how hot she is, somebody, somewhere, is sick of her sh1t."
I'll chime in here:
I met a girl when I was 20, and she was 18. Needless to say, once you're out of high school, you should never stoop to a new low by dating someone still in high school. Also, never meet them online. That was a sure-fire indicator. We ended up dating for over a year. She was as follows:
-Suffered from clinically diagnosed depression, clinically diagnosed anxiety and clinically diagnosed borderline personality disorder (BPD). (I'm pretty sure she was bi-polar.)
-She also attempted suicide by ramming her dad's car into a telephone pole. She lived.
-When we were dating, she tried to stab herself and she was a cutter. I called the cops (of the city that my dad is a local smokey for). My parents knew, my brother and sister knew. The cops (who, by the way, work directly with my dad) pick her up, and haul her away to suicide watch.
She had me convinced her problems were my fault for years. I'll never forgive myself for letting that b*tch get the best of me. What's even funnier is that about two years ago, I tried to make amends with her... you know? Be the bigger man and all that crap. She actually denied ever trying to kill herself... EVER! I'm like, "You don't remember me calling the police, etc.?" Her reply: "Well, yeah. I remember... but I didn't really try to kill myself."
W T F ?
On a side note, I met a girl I went to elementary school with. Turns out she's really cute, sweet, blah-blah-blah. She comes up from SoCaL to visit her mom. We get coffee, hang out, cuddle. End of night. Two weeks later, I drive down to visit her. Smash-up time. We hang out, get food, I meet her roommate, etc. Totally falling for this girl, so a month later I fly down to see her. 1/2 way through a five day stay, she gets all distant and stops talking to me. Turns out she has a thing with her ex. boyfriend and never bothered to tell me. Confirmation received when on the way to dropping me off at the airport, her ex. calls her. We were running late, so had I gotten to the airport on time, he'd have called her after I was already checking in my bags.
The best part? About 8 months after this all went down, I get a new job as a property manager managing about 10 condominium complexes around the area. Turns out that one of my properties is the one where her mom lives, and for the next year I ended up working directly with her mom (her mom was the treasurer of a Board of Directors). I'm sure she thought I was stalking her, but it was sheer coincidence. And an odd one at that.
I met a girl when I was 20, and she was 18. Needless to say, once you're out of high school, you should never stoop to a new low by dating someone still in high school. Also, never meet them online. That was a sure-fire indicator. We ended up dating for over a year. She was as follows:
-Suffered from clinically diagnosed depression, clinically diagnosed anxiety and clinically diagnosed borderline personality disorder (BPD). (I'm pretty sure she was bi-polar.)
-She also attempted suicide by ramming her dad's car into a telephone pole. She lived.
-When we were dating, she tried to stab herself and she was a cutter. I called the cops (of the city that my dad is a local smokey for). My parents knew, my brother and sister knew. The cops (who, by the way, work directly with my dad) pick her up, and haul her away to suicide watch.
She had me convinced her problems were my fault for years. I'll never forgive myself for letting that b*tch get the best of me. What's even funnier is that about two years ago, I tried to make amends with her... you know? Be the bigger man and all that crap. She actually denied ever trying to kill herself... EVER! I'm like, "You don't remember me calling the police, etc.?" Her reply: "Well, yeah. I remember... but I didn't really try to kill myself."
W T F ?
On a side note, I met a girl I went to elementary school with. Turns out she's really cute, sweet, blah-blah-blah. She comes up from SoCaL to visit her mom. We get coffee, hang out, cuddle. End of night. Two weeks later, I drive down to visit her. Smash-up time. We hang out, get food, I meet her roommate, etc. Totally falling for this girl, so a month later I fly down to see her. 1/2 way through a five day stay, she gets all distant and stops talking to me. Turns out she has a thing with her ex. boyfriend and never bothered to tell me. Confirmation received when on the way to dropping me off at the airport, her ex. calls her. We were running late, so had I gotten to the airport on time, he'd have called her after I was already checking in my bags.
The best part? About 8 months after this all went down, I get a new job as a property manager managing about 10 condominium complexes around the area. Turns out that one of my properties is the one where her mom lives, and for the next year I ended up working directly with her mom (her mom was the treasurer of a Board of Directors). I'm sure she thought I was stalking her, but it was sheer coincidence. And an odd one at that.
That's sig material right there.
She ended up just being one of those "one of the guys" kinda' friends. You could fart on her head, and all she'd do is say "Pee-yoo" and then 5 minutes later...
...yep, she'd be farting on your head.
I'm sure she'll believe you if you scream His name during sex.
That does not bode well for her brother if he shoots up SUVs belonging to white guys. He's going to be bankrupt from the ammo expenses.
Edit:
Does this thread title remind anyone else of Indiana Jones, or am I the only one...? All I can think of is that dead little monkey.
I am going to pretend this thread never happend, la la la la la
not sure if this counts as a date, but...
short version > I went to a company xmas party with my on again/off again GF, we both worked there. Mid party she had the DJ clear the dance floor, and all of sudden she comes out in a revealing outfit, she basically did a strip dance, humped the floor, etc, etc..I was totally WTF? She was not drunk, and I found out she was practicing this routine for a week or so. After her "dance" I told her she needed to find her own way home, and I left. We didnt talk for 3 months (until she found out I was dating someone else).
After a week or 2 of her being all nice, I ended up cheating on the new girl with her. Then a few days later a mutual friend asked me if I knew she had a 2nd job, I said yeah - waitress at a bar. The friend said this bar was a strip club, and she wasnt a waitress...
short version > I went to a company xmas party with my on again/off again GF, we both worked there. Mid party she had the DJ clear the dance floor, and all of sudden she comes out in a revealing outfit, she basically did a strip dance, humped the floor, etc, etc..I was totally WTF? She was not drunk, and I found out she was practicing this routine for a week or so. After her "dance" I told her she needed to find her own way home, and I left. We didnt talk for 3 months (until she found out I was dating someone else).
After a week or 2 of her being all nice, I ended up cheating on the new girl with her. Then a few days later a mutual friend asked me if I knew she had a 2nd job, I said yeah - waitress at a bar. The friend said this bar was a strip club, and she wasnt a waitress...
^^Maybe not so much as a date as blowing an opportunity to be with a hot stripper.
Well then, never mind.Maybe you missed that part AMS.
Doug:
bump.
Today seems to be a bad date. I can't seem to get sh*t done. Focking Ridemonkey.
Hey you can't post in here, you're married.
Unless of course you have a bad date story from your pre-married life.
Unless of course you have a bad date story from your pre-married life.
not really a date, but having dinner with a guy and his wife, whom you're banging, falls along this line, yeah? I'm pretty sure he knew at the time too.
ACKWARD.
I had a similar experience in a coffee house years ago. I was sitting at a table with three women that I had been with and I wasn't sure if they knew it. Very awkward.
Wait, you weren't sure if the woman knew you had boned them?
Daterape much?
Roofie time?
Nice try, but you could have done better with a size of genitalia reference.
That being said, the roofie reference says more about your dating abilities than mine.
Satisfaction can be had in converting them from chasing Jesus to chasing penis.