[jebfour]

I believe that this is my first post in the Mud Hunnies forums, but I need to ask a question to the females that ride….

My wife started on a hardtail about 1-1/2 years ago and switched over to “fully” around 6 moths ago. After getting the new bike (which also had better brakes) her riding almost immediately improved.

We went to Mammoth a few weeks ago and she rode just great. I was so stoked for her! We went out for a little “practice session” today and she seemed to have lost most of her confidence. This seems to happen if she goes more than two weeks without riding. I was trying to be very encouraging, but she just didn’t have the confidence that she once had…

She claims that she sometimes ‘needs’ to be “pushed” but I NEVER want to be pushy because the last thing that I want is for here to get hurt, nor do I want for her to think that I am pushing the sport on her….

Here is my question: would it be better if she was riding with other women (instead of me)? My buddy and I thought that it might be good if we got our ladies together for an easier DH ride. Would it be more or less intimidating? I have brought this up to her and she is under the impression that women who ride are ultra competitive (some are for sure, but I assume that, like us guys, they are out to just have a good time on the trail).

Obviously my question is based on someone’s personality, but I could use a little input here….what is the best way to get her confidence built up? Should I “coach” her or should she find a good group of women to ride with (although we would never stop riding together – it’s fun!)

Thanks in advance,

Jeb4

 

[bikegrrl]

We went out for a little “practice session” today and she seemed to have lost most of her confidence. This seems to happen if she goes more than two weeks without riding. I was trying to be very encouraging, but she just didn’t have the confidence that she once had…

She claims that she sometimes ‘needs’ to be “pushed” but I NEVER want to be pushy because the last thing that I want is for here to get hurt, nor do I want for her to think that I am pushing the sport on her….

Here is my question: would it be better if she was riding with other women (instead of me)? My buddy and I thought that it might be good if we got our ladies together for an easier DH ride. Would it be more or less intimidating? I have brought this up to her and she is under the impression that women who ride are ultra competitive (some are for sure, but I assume that, like us guys, they are out to just have a good time on the trail).

Obviously my question is based on someone’s personality, but I could use a little input here….what is the best way to get her confidence built up? Should I “coach” her or should she find a good group of women to ride with (although we would never stop riding together – it’s fun!)

Thanks in advance,

Jeb4

Did she wreck badly on her last ride? That has definitely destroyed my confidence. And interestingly enough, a few top-notch male riders I know have admitted the same!

Some women are more comfortable riding around other women. I don't really care one way or another.

If she's asking to be "pushed," I would, but step it up in small increments, rather than huge progressions. And I don't think it would hurt to try the "girl ride" option - it might work for her, it might not.

 

[mohshee]

There are times when I have little confidence in my abilities, but my hubby is pretty good about encouraging me (sometimes heavily) to do things. He always seems to know what is within my riding ability (and it's usually a lot more then I give myself credit for). I'm not sure how he does it, but it definitely helps to have the encouragement and support.
I don't find it very helpful to necessarily ride with women. That might be because there have been very few technical women riders in my area, so it can be easy to "dumb down" your riding skills when the people around you are too scared to branch out. I guess this just depends on who you ride with.
And I get a little "fuzzy" myself when I go extended weeks without riding. It can be difficult to get the mojo back sometimes. So perhaps just making an effort to ride a couple of times a week, even if it is a slow, mellow ride -- that may help with the insecurity that comes with a biking hiatus (however short it is).
It's important to build on technique that you already have. I think it is very worthwhile to encourage your wife, but incrementally, like bikegrrl suggested. Sometimes just having someone verbally support you and walk you through a tricky section of trail can make a big difference.

 

[SuperKat]

I don't mind who I ride with either.
Sometimes it's nice to ride with other women but I seem to push myself more and usually try new things when I'm with the guys.

 

[sunny]

Here is my question:
(1) would it be better if she was riding with other women (instead of me)?

(2) ….what is the best way to get her confidence built up?


(3) Should I “coach” her or should she find a good group of women to ride with

1. Totally individual. Find a group of women who ride (call the local shops / post in local forums...). Ask her if she'd want to join them.

I'm one of those rabidly competitive women. I learn better from men. I have fun on "girls rides" (and these chicks are gnarly), and I enjoy coaching other women, but if I'm learning, I prefer to be coached by men.

2. The best way I build my confidence is by doing familiar stuff that is easy and slowly building back up.

My confidence flags if a) I'm off the bike for a while, b) I have a particularly nasty crash or series of crashes, c) I've never done something before.

3. Goes back to #1. Individual preference.
My husband never coached me. My mechanic taught me to ride. I totally adore my husband for not being challenged by that (or letting it show). I learn from others much easier for some reason, and lose patience quicker with my husband.

 

[goodtobeIrie]

sometimes I love it when my hubby coaches me...sometimes I want to throw my bike at him when he coaches me...

that's all I need to say about that...:love:

ask her what she wants...

 

[weimie]

I don't care who I ride with either but I almost ride exclusively with guys.

I tend to lose my confidence a lot, mainly in DH. My big thing is I need to start out on something mellow then work my way up. I just need to get into the flow of things and remember how my DH bike feels.

Same thing can be said about XC, don't take her out on the gnarliest of trails right off the bat if she hasn't been on her bike in a couple weeks. I'm usually a bit more timid in the first 20 minutes of a ride, I need a warm up period first, after that I can try just about anything.

But some days I'm just not feelin' it....I can't get over anything and I psyche myself out. Chalk those days up to bad ones and try again next time.

 

[luvz2ridez]

I had a particulary bad ride 2 weeks ago, my husband and I were failing miserable on this one trail. When we were done, we swore we'd never ride it again. Because of that day, we didn't go riding again until yesterday because we were so discouraged. Yesterday I had a fantastic time, but it took a few minutes to warm up. I find if I don't ride my bike at least once a week, this is the case. Because I have a 3 hr commute back and forth to work everyday, my only chance of riding is on the weekends.
I do find that riding with women can be more challenging. You don't want to mess up and be embarrassed. I find it's ok to be embarrassed in front of my husband, besides he's already seen me at my worst. I think my husband challenges me more and I enjoy to spend that time sharing it with him. Although he is more advanced than me and does things I can't compare to,but he does challenge me and I love that. I do often like to ride with women at my level. I often find women sometimes just go for the miles and not the fun parts in between.
I'm pretty sure it's whatever your wife wants. Maybe she'd enjoy riding with women on occassion.

 

[amydalayna]

3 hour commute??????? ugh.

it's funny because there'll be some jumps and i'll tell everyone except my husband to not watch. he doesn't make me nervous and just like you said, he's seen me at my worst.

it is really good to hear that everyone has their off days.
i had one of those this weekends. i felt soooo dramatic afterwards.

me: "i'm getting worse on my bike not better.... i should take up a different sport because maybe biking isn't for me. " whine whine whine
it was horrible and dramatic. i seriously doubt guys do the same thing. they may get bummed out, but i feel like sometimes i have serious meltdowns.

 

[jebfour]

Thank you for the replies!

I think that having shorter intervals between rides is likely the key here. I'll also see if my buddy and I can go for a ride with the girls to see if riding with another woman has a positive or negative effect.

Thanks again,

jeb4

 

[amydalayna]

Thank you for the replies!

I think that having shorter intervals between rides is likely the key here. I'll also see if my buddy and I can go for a ride with the girls to see if riding with another woman has a positive or negative effect.

Thanks again,

jeb4

have you ever encouraged her to ride solo? sometimes that can be really therapeutic and help her feel comfortable to session things over and over without fearing holding up a group of people.

 

[luvz2ridez]

3 hour commute??????? ugh.

it's funny because there'll be some jumps and i'll tell everyone except my husband to not watch. he doesn't make me nervous and just like you said, he's seen me at my worst.

it is really good to hear that everyone has their off days.
i had one of those this weekends. i felt soooo dramatic afterwards.

me: "i'm getting worse on my bike not better.... i should take up a different sport because maybe biking isn't for me. " whine whine whine
it was horrible and dramatic. i seriously doubt guys do the same thing. they may get bummed out, but i feel like sometimes i have serious meltdowns.

LOL, that was me two weeks ago. I bought a new Kona Dawg with 5" of travel (before that I had a XC bike) and I was like "why'd I buy this damn thing, such a waste of money, I can't even ride it!" Then yesterday I couldn't praise the new bike enough.
As for the 3 hr. commute, that has really got me down and we're moving closer to the city soon. We thought we wanted a slower lifestyle, but find it's just worse and more hectic living so far away from where you work.
Oh and guys do have off days too. My husband came back from and OR ride once in the spring where he met up with some guys that were way ahead of him and he was so sad and down on himself because he couldn't keep up. I felt bad...

 

[amydalayna]

LOL, that was me two weeks ago. I bought a new Kona Dawg with 5" of travel (before that I had a XC bike) and I was like "why'd I buy this damn thing, such a waste of money, I can't even ride it!"

i guess what we need to keep telling us is that we may have off days... off weeks even, but we need to remember those rides when everything clicked. like the time you conquered that really hard dh run without a single dab, or the time you hit a jump without bailing out.

i guess what i'm getting hung up with is inconsistency with my riding.
if i get a trail or a jump one day, why is it the next day i'm off?

 

[TreeSaw]

Thank you for the replies!

I think that having shorter intervals between rides is likely the key here. I'll also see if my buddy and I can go for a ride with the girls to see if riding with another woman has a positive or negative effect.

Thanks again,

jeb4

That sounds like a great plan to me. I ride with my husband a lot and he does tend to "push" me sometimes. I wouldn't really call it pushing but some people might. He basically tells me that I am a good rider and that I should try new things. Then, he'll demonstrate or walk me through it and I can generally do it without a problem. If I happen to crash, he laughs right along with me and we do it all again!

Good luck!!

 

[altagirl]

3 hour commute??????? ugh.

it's funny because there'll be some jumps and i'll tell everyone except my husband to not watch. he doesn't make me nervous and just like you said, he's seen me at my worst.

it is really good to hear that everyone has their off days.
i had one of those this weekends. i felt soooo dramatic afterwards.

me: "i'm getting worse on my bike not better.... i should take up a different sport because maybe biking isn't for me. " whine whine whine
it was horrible and dramatic. i seriously doubt guys do the same thing. they may get bummed out, but i feel like sometimes i have serious meltdowns.

Pfft... My husband has pretty much said that exact quote. And I've heard at least half the guys I race DH with say the same thing. MAYBE they're a little more... choosy about who they voice their whining to, but that's about the only difference.

EVERYONE has bad days.