[Skookum]

i'm freshly recovered from a broken leg and just recently back at work roofing.
We're pulling 10 hr. shifts at the womens prison in Purdy Washington. Next week their gonna ban tobacco from all institutions. If they riot we're stuck on the roof and man i'm really afraid there's some big ugly women there with numbers!!! i can't really run that well either my leg is still a little tender....
i have a hammer i could use to beat them off the roof and a chalk line to repel off the roof just incase i have to bail. i dunno any ideas out there in case they attack?

 

[Heidi]

Get a jet pack. Those are cool.

 

[Skookum]

Get a jet pack. Those are cool.

awesome idea.

googling now......

 

[JRB]

Take piercing tools. I am sure their hoods would appreciate that.

 

[binary visions]

Fvck it. Bring a shiv. Once you kill a couple of them, they'll back off.

 

[Slugman]

Bring extra brownies... they riot, you thow them at the women and you'll have enough time to run.

 

[-BB-]

Bring your bike so you can HUCK off the roof.

Oh... and body armor for protection.

 

[Skookum]

Take piercing tools. I am sure their hoods would appreciate that.

i have a hook knife but it's got hot tar all over it.....

 

[DVNT]

If you see Valerie Please tell her I miss her. :heart:

 

[Skookum]

Bring your bike so you can HUCK off the roof.

Oh... and body armor for protection.

i always get nose heavy on drops to flat, plus the parapet wall is too high i can't bunny hop worth beans.

 

[JRB]

i have a hook knife but it's got hot tar all over it.....

meh - a little infection can't hurt you. You don't plan to hit it do you???

 

[Skookum]

If you see Valerie Please tell her I miss her. :heart:

She's a clone of all the women i see in there, big, tough, and wow she's computer literate. Maybe she's reading this right now!?!??

They smell weakness...... i'm dead for sure now.....

 

[Skookum]

meh - a little infection can't hurt you. You don't plan to hit it do you???

i'll do whatever it takes to get outta there in one peice. i'm so scared now...

 

[Megan Black]

the title of this thread should be "do you think i should be scurrrrred?"

you could try an austin powers move, git in some scivvys, offer up some cigs and watch the cross-mogination carnage...

 

[JRB]

Take french fries. Chicks can't say no to french fries. Don't be scared skooks. Worse case - you get hurt and can't work and get to surf the monkey all day again.

 

[Skookum]

you could try an austin powers move, git in some scivvys, offer up some cigs and watch the cross-mogination carnage...

They search you for "contraband" when you go in.
Cross-mogination? what is that? that sounds like it could be painful.

i'm doomed for sure. jet pack is my only hope.... i can convince them it's a tool......

 

[JRB]

jet pack is my only hope.... i can convince them it's a tool......

Do not try to hide it up your ass. It would be bad if it went off.

 

[Skookum]

Do not try to hide it up your ass. It would be bad if it went off.

Yah, plus it would be very uncomfortable to work with in case a riot never arose.....

 

[JRB]

Yah, plus it would be very uncomfortable to work with in case a riot never arose.....

Or if you slip and it shoots you out into the yard. Being butt raped by a rocket and then thrown to the wolves would suck.

 

[Tenchiro]

i could beat them off

Just become their prison man-whore. :dancing:

 

[mack]

just brin some condoms in case they pink you down and inject you with viagra.

prison woMEN

 

[s1ngletrack]

Here's the plan - zip line via telephone lines (ala James Bond) off of the roof to safety, but... keep a pint of vodka in you tool bags incase plan A does not work. Scenario:

Riot breaks out.

Skookum - "I'd love to to hang around ladies - but I'm afraid I must be going!"

Skookum - thinks: Oh Sh*t - I forgot my harness, whatever will become of me?

(Prison bitches, smelling fresh meat, are beating on the roof access door.)

Skookum - remembers vodka in bags, removes and drinks.

Hordes of women (who now all resemble Baywatch cast) break through roof access.

Viola! - Instant gangrape / prison sex fantasy with a bunch of supermodels (sic) for Skookum - what could have been a horrifically damaging experience is now material to kill millions of babies to in the future.

 

[Damn True]

Since Burley Surly hasn't said it yet I'll offer the obligatory comment.

Hit it.

....and take photos

 

[Bullitrider]

My sis works there. She's got some really good and disgusting stories. Why not start out on the ladies' good side and stick your d**k between the bars?

On another note: There is now a woman living among us who shoplifts by sticking things up her bung hole. Don't get her mad or she'll pull something out and throw it at you and it won't be the item she just stole.

 

[Skookum]

This thread sunk to all time new lows. haha

 

[NineFingers]

This thread sunk to all time new lows. haha

Sneak in a carton of smokes and when they start rioting find the biggest baddest lezbo's and barter safe passage for the hundreds of cigs you have. Then again with your long hair and skinny legs you do look sort of like a chic so you might just blend in heehehheehehehee :eviltongu

 

[T-Pirate]

If you see Valerie Please tell her I miss her. :heart:

Weight 160 lbs.

riiiiiiggggghhhhttt.

 

[bradical]

riiiiiiggggghhhhttt.

Somehow I knew T-pirate would be drawn to this thread.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

...Then again with your long hair and skinny legs you do look sort of like a chic so you might just blend in heehehheehehehee :eviltongu

 

[TN]

be strong & steadfast.

 

[DBR X6 RIDER]

Wow, Skooks...quite the predicament. I think the backup vodka flask thing is a good idea. If you can't conjure up the Baywatch visualization, you could always view them as Amazonians.
I wonder how many of them have already claimed dibs on you?

 

[Austin Bike]

Like they told I guy who just got a job down here: As soon as you get in there, really F&%K somebody up - that lets them know you mean business.

 

[T:I:M]

a crowbar, or clawed hammer makes a great tool, for...er....defending your self?


you could get some man-dolls or somthing and throw it at them. that will keep them busy while you concoct a flame thrower out of the vodka, a roll of duct tape, a knife and a can of hairspray(you carry some with you rite?) You can rambo your way out.

 

[Rip]

Simple answer, just throw your coworkers to them and get away cleanly.

 

[Skookum]

you could get some man-dolls or somthing and throw it at them. that will keep them busy while you concoct a flame thrower out of the vodka, a roll of duct tape, a knife and a can of hairspray(you carry some with you rite?) You can rambo your way out.

Now THAT'S the kind of ideas that can work. There just happens to be a Ukranian with us on the job, no doubt his mug is full of vodka..... i'm also thinking of packin a bunch of Nicorrete patches to slap on their foreheads in case i get overwhelmed or if i can't "unload" the jet pack in time.... :dancing:

 

[HTFR]

If you see Valerie Please tell her I miss her. :heart:

i find it funny that there is a 'check out' and a 'add to cart' button

 

[JRB]

or if i can't "unload" the jet pack in time.... :dancing:

Make sure you have lots of fiber for breakfast. That will make "unloading" the jetpack easier. Diane Sawyer is going behind the walls Thursday night. Mayber you can get some pointers then.

 

[Skookum]

Make sure you have lots of fiber for breakfast. That will make "unloading" the jetpack easier. Diane Sawyer is going behind the walls Thursday night. Mayber you can get some pointers then.

They're probably finishing up the last of their smokes now. i know when i quit it wasn't so bad the first couple of day..... then day 3 to 14 well..... hopefully p.m.s. isn't going to coincide with all of this.... i joke around, but don't be suprised if i report back with having to have a guard escort outta a rioting prison haha.

 

[T:I:M]

Now THAT'S the kind of ideas that can work. There just happens to be a Ukranian with us on the job, no doubt his mug is full of vodka..... i'm also thinking of packin a bunch of Nicorrete patches to slap on their foreheads in case i get overwhelmed or if i can't "unload" the jet pack in time.... :dancing:

yeah, but those Ukranian's can be quite coniving at times...no doubt he enjoys the fiesty american jail house women...he might take his mug with him when he go's to the uh...bathroom on cell block 8...yeah


As for the Nicorrete patches, I don't know if i'd do that exactly. They may think that you are trying to take over with mind control...that would just piss them off more....or maybe they would fall for it, believe that you really do have control of them, and you would have your own army of pissed off jail women?