Drop Dead
- Thread starter DH Diva
- Start date
Well of course. However it's those same jackasses that keep things from being boring.
I like most people on a personal basis but as a society in general we are a bunch of ****wits and deserve horrible things.
It's those same idiots that make it hard not to pack a sawed off 12 gauge under my coat sometimes.
Word.
Would you rather get pissed off occasionally, or experiencing mind numbing, endless boredom?It's those same idiots that make it hard not to pack a sawed off 12 gauge under my coat sometimes.
Word.
Since I left the newspaper business I haven't had to suppress the "Violence against co-worker" anywhere near as much..... Had to deal with unbelivable numbers of total morons back then.
*edit* I think in a 18month period I fired 8 people for stupidity (in an office of 15).
*edit* I think in a 18month period I fired 8 people for stupidity (in an office of 15).
I like that "most" part
****birds them all!
Simple fact. Most folks are lazy...
Simple fact. Most folks are lazy...
Eventually the stench of billions of rotting corpses would become overwhelming.
Ya gotta plan these things out a little better. Take the time to figure the lime to pound of flesh ratio.
Render them down for bio fuel. Energy crisis would be taken care of.
Cool, then we could say things like:
Tonight the fires will burn bright with the fat of the unworthy.
Much better than, " the streets will run deep with the blood on the nonbelievers".
Nope. I love everyone and do my best to make them feel good about themselves. 
Oh yeah, my halo burns so brightly that I tend to forget about the distended rectums of this world.
Agreed. But man some people make it really hard to laugh it off. Like the idiot I watched run a stop sign, therefor pushing a little old lady head on into a telephone pole. He got out of his car, and instead of going straight to the other car, walks around the front of his car a stands there going, "Oh Man, not my jeep!" I wanted to smack him with said telephone pole.
Good point. Note to self, Angrymetalsmith is in the 5% that should survive.
There is no hate for my favorite inked monkey.
Hmm.
I thought you would.
Only if the world were that perfect.
Our cars could be refered to as MMW, Moron Motor Works.
It's a beautiful concept. Now how exactly do we get everyone to die??
We could change the inscription on the Statue of Liberty to read," Give us your obese, lazy, and inconsiderate..."
"......so they can die."
Well that would certainly free up a lot of handicapped parking spaces for those who truly deserve them.
Like Tawny Babe from Gimps Gone Wild???
Google it...
nap:
Google it...
nap:
I think I've spread too much rep tonight. Won't let me give anymore! Too funny. Too funny.
Scared to go to google. So scared.Like Tawny Babe from Gimps Gone Wild???
Google it...
There are guys too - I'm not sure if they're fully functional or not.
Questionably functional gimp junk is not something one should see before bed. Nightmares would be eminent.There are guys too - I'm not sure if they're fully functional or not.
Occasionally. More frequently, we have a customer in the bike shop who I want to smack upside the head with a telephone pole. That happens quite a bit.
There's one guy in particular who's a real pain in the ass. He'll come in, buy a few small things, and then stay for several hours. Now, the shop I work in is physically much too small for the amount of business we do, so he is inevitably completly in the way for all of his extended visit. That wouldn't be so bad if he didn't view himself as an infinite fountain of bike knowledge. He'll interrupt me and my coworkers to answer a question for a customer, and he's often competly wrong. Then I have to correct him, which pisses him off, and he tries even harder to answer questions in an effort to redeem himself.
His wife is no better. She is a human tornado. She'll come in to try on clothes, try on every fvcking thing in her size in the shop, and not pick any of it up. She'll literally leave 20 items of clothing and their hangers lying on the fvcking floor, and expect us to deal with it all for her. Dumb b*tch.A friend of mine is dating their daughter. I was skiing, and ran into the two of them. We rode up the lift once together, and the first thing she said to me was "You work at Swan's, right? I'm really sorry my dad is such a tool."
She instantly earned quite a bit of respect in my book.
Develop a strain of airborn ebola.
I had no idea we had a sister store in Central NY.
My stories at the shop are just too many and too weird to try to type them all. Perhaps I'll write a book someday. I really should have a show for people to watch some of these guys. I'd tell most of the stories here, but people really won't believe it. Really...they are just too weird.
As far as hate for people, I have like 15 people that redeem the world for me on a regular basis. One is my wife, so I see her daily. I also have a couple of friends that must frequent the shop to keep me from killing other people.
A friend of mine is dating their daughter. I was skiing, and ran into the two of them. We rode up the lift once together, and the first thing she said to me was "You work at Swan's, right? I'm really sorry my dad is such a tool."
Nice one 
That'll kill a whole lot of people, but isn't so controlable. Wasn't the idea to weed out the unworthy?
There are too many to possibly list. It's amazing how many whackjobs you meet working retail. This is probably my favorite:I had no idea we had a sister store in Central NY.
My stories at the shop are just too many and too weird to try to type them all. Perhaps I'll write a book someday. I really should have a show for people to watch some of these guys. I'd tell most of the stories here, but people really won't believe it. Really...they are just too weird.
As far as hate for people, I have like 15 people that redeem the world for me on a regular basis. One is my wife, so I see her daily. I also have a couple of friends that must frequent the shop to keep me from killing other people.
A couple in their early 40's came in to buy a bike for the wife. I happened to be free at the moment, and came over to help them. After asking some questions about what type of bike she was interested in, what kind of riding she wanted to do, what price range she was looking at, etc, I started to show her some bikes. She was asking a lot of questions, just trying to be an informed buyer, and I answered them in a straightforward and honest manner. She then picked a bike that she wanted to test ride, but since we didn't have it in the shop in her size, I had to go to our storage barn out back to get it for her. During this time, the shop owner had become free, and she began to talk to him as I was heading out to get her the bike. When I got back, the owner was talking to someone else, and the couple were talking to each other, right in front of the door. I don't think they had noticed that I was back.
Him: "See, that kid (I'm 17, and this was a few years ago) gave you all the same answers as Glenn (my boss). He knows what he's talking about"
Her: "Lucky guess"
Him: "Lucky guess!?!? On about 20 questions? There's no way that was just a bunch of guesses!"
Her: "He's a fvcking kid. There's no way in hell he knows what he talking about"
At this point I caughed slightly to indicate that I was back, and they turned around, looking more than a little sheepish. The husband tried to be friendly, but his wife proceded to be a total b*tch, snapping at me and complaining that we didn't have a different bike in her size in stock as if it was my fault, giving me sh*t because she didn't like the color of a bike, etc. She bought the bike I first showed her and left, and her husband gave her an earful on the way out to their car. And do you know what the best part is? Right after she left, I found out that she's an elementary school teacher.
yesterday was a clueless ****festival of wanting to dish out some hateful pain upon others.
the high point had to be the moment when I pulled the trashcan out from under the kitchen cabinet and the entire cabinet came crashing down in a rain of coffee mugs, teacups and wine glasses.
Personally I would have taped a note to the cabinet and/or trashcan saying something helpful like, "It's a trap!" or "Caution cabinet structural integrity at 5% of nominal rated capacity!"
the next hippy that walks up to me and tries to get me to look on the bright side of something..... well they'd just better be wearing a football helmet and a protective gonad cup.
