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Famous Simpsons quotes

pnj

Turbo Monkey till the fat lady sings
Aug 14, 2002
4,696
40
seattle
Homer ~ And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer ~ Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
 

Tweek

I Love Cheap Beer!
Homer, singing along to Radar Love:

I've been drivin' all night my hands wet on the wheel
Do do dee do do do
There's a voice in my head that drives my heel
Do do dee do do do
It's my baby callin' me on the telephone
Do do dee do do do
Picked up a pizza and I'm headin' home ...

(Just after a radio call-in threat on his life by Fat Tony :D )
 
The show where Bart wants to live with Mr. Burns when he needs an hier.

Mr. Burns: "I think you better leave!"

Homer: "What are you going to do. Release the dogs or the bees or the dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at you!!"
 
Homer: "Are you saying that you'll never eat meat again? What about bacon?"

Lisa: "No."

Homer: "Ham?"

Lisa: "No!"

Homer: "Pork chops?"

Lisa: "Dad, those all come from the same animal!"

Homer: "Heh, heh, heh... yeah.. right, Lisa. A wonderful magical animal."
 

Lucee

govenor
Jan 16, 2002
284
0
nor cal
Originally posted by Joe Pozer
Willie cranks the school's air conditioning to full power:


Willie: We're wasting more energy than Ricky Martin's girlfriend!...Hiyo!!


Yeah, this shouldn't be a sticky. It always seems to resurface anyway.........
 

Joe Pozer

Mullet Head
Aug 22, 2001
673
0
Redwood City
Originally posted by Lucee




Yeah, this shouldn't be a sticky. It always seems to resurface anyway.........
Way to bump it up... :thumb: I'm still lobbying for this thread to be a sticky :D

There are just so many great quotes from the Simpsons. Did you catch the Halloween special?

New Simpsons this sunday! Woohoo!
 

pnj

Turbo Monkey till the fat lady sings
Aug 14, 2002
4,696
40
seattle
homer quotes

Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.?
The kids can call you Hoju!

Does whisky count as beer?

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!

I like my beer cold ... my TV loud ... and my homosexuals flaming.
 

Dirt rider

Pro Rider
Nov 18, 2001
505
0
redneck wasteland
marge pulls a old coat outt a trunk
Marge: Whos Dicso Stu?

Homer: Oh I ment to write disco stud but I ran outta room



coupe senes later.....



guy: Hey stu you should buy this

Disco stu: Disco stu doesnt advertize...
 

Pezzo33

Chimp
Sep 11, 2001
20
0
Western Massachusetts
ok, so I may be a little bored at work, and just read through all 15 pages, but...

cannot believe no one has brought up this one.


HOMER -- 'Why do we have to leave America to go to America Jr?'


pezz
 

Lucee

govenor
Jan 16, 2002
284
0
nor cal
Originally posted by Joe Pozer


Way to bump it up... :thumb: I'm still lobbying for this thread to be a sticky :D

There are just so many great quotes from the Simpsons. Did you catch the Halloween special?

New Simpsons this sunday! Woohoo!

I missed it! Damn work. Know anyone who recorded it?
 

brenth

Monkey
Jun 14, 2002
221
0
Santa Monica
I can't belive noone is giving grandpa the love. He kills me.

Grandpa Simpson: Son, I'm not going to lie to you. You're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride I say take it

CIA agent: "All right, everyone freeze!"
Grandpa Simpson: "OK I admit it! I am the linburgh baby! Waa! Waa! googoo! I miss my fly-fly dada!"
CIA agent: "Old man, are you stalling us or are you just senile?"
Grandpa Simpson: "a little from column A and a little from column B."

Grandpa Simpson: " so, you want to do it?"
Vegas floozie: "No"
Grandpa Simpson: " Thank God!" falls asleep.
 

ska todd

Turbo Monkey
Oct 10, 2001
1,776
0
mmmm....Simpsons....

Ned Flanders: "I feel so horrible...I just lost my wife"

Singer for Christian Folk band: "Yeah, I know how you feel. We just lost our drummer to a Satanic Ska Band"

-ska todd
 

Dirt rider

Pro Rider
Nov 18, 2001
505
0
redneck wasteland
Ok it might not be an exact quote but here goes.



Grampa: It was 19 dickity 6, we had to say dickity because the president had put the number 20 into exile. anyway I was going into shelbyville to get a soul put on my boot. I had a onion on my belt because it was the stlye at the time. I went into slebyville because my boot needed a new tounge and it was going to cost me two and a half dickey cents, the numbers 10 and 30 hadent been invented yet, but most importantly I had a onion tied to my belt cause it was the stlye at the time but it was a red oinion because there was a shortage of white onions due to the war. so anyhow............
 

Lucee

govenor
Jan 16, 2002
284
0
nor cal
Originally posted by Dirt rider
Ok it might not be an exact quote but here goes.



Grampa: It was 19 dickity 6, we had to say dickity because the president had put the number 20 into exile. anyway I was going into shelbyville to get a soul put on my boot. I had a onion on my belt because it was the stlye at the time. I went into slebyville because my boot needed a new tounge and it was going to cost me two and a half dickey cents, the numbers 10 and 30 hadent been invented yet, but most importantly I had a onion tied to my belt cause it was the stlye at the time but it was a red oinion because there was a shortage of white onions due to the war. so anyhow............

Haha! You guys are right, Grandpa has definitely been underappreciated in this thread. Thanks!

Who votes to make this a sticky?
 

monkeyboy424

Turbo Monkey
Mar 19, 2002
1,483
2
Place
how bout these ones

"Some are real snakes, and others are just robots filled wiht venom"


"all you do is eat, and sleep, and mate and role around in your filth and eat and sleep and mate and sleeeeeeeep and where do i sign up?"

or

"fine moe i cna find other ways to get a rush ( actually you have to see this episode.... lots of hella funny scenes)


"i have not, not been licking toads"


i could go on....................


:D :cool: :)
 

Joe Pozer

Mullet Head
Aug 22, 2001
673
0
Redwood City
Let's not forget Bumble Bee Man.

In the episode in which Homer gets accused of sexual harrasment, Bubble Bee Man does a skit about it on his show in which his butt gets pinched



Bumble Bee Man: "Ay ay ay, es Homer Simpson me ha molestado!"
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
40,945
13,138
Portland, OR
"I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming."

"mmmm, open faced club sand wedge"

"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."

"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

"Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman."

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."

"Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."

I could go on...
 

Tweek

I Love Cheap Beer!
Homer (to Bart after losing Santa's Little Helper (Santos L. Halper)): Well crying's not gonna help. Unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit here and eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell like dog food and your dog comes back, or you can get out there and find your dog!
Bart: I'll do it! (Bart exits.)
Homer (dejected): Ohhh — I was this close to making him eat dog food.
 

Joe Pozer

Mullet Head
Aug 22, 2001
673
0
Redwood City
Episode in which Bart gets busted for stealing a video game

Homer: Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing. Did you?
 

Tweek

I Love Cheap Beer!
After a failed attempt at hunting to make Bart 'less gay'.
Moe: Well, it didn't work out with this one (Bart), but there's still time to save your other kid.
Homer: I don't think so, Moe. Lisa's a vegetarian.
Moe: Aw, Jeez, Homer. Jeez! You and Marge aren't cousins, are ya'?
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
40,945
13,138
Portland, OR
"Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"

"I have feelings too - like ''My stomach hurts'' or ''I'm going crazy!"

''To Start Press Any Key''. Where's the ANY key?

"All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad."

"English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"