And if so, was it the way to go - or was it much more difficult?
Has Anyone filed for divorce without an attorney?
- Thread starter MMcG
- Start date
Dude just use an attorney... she will have one.
I did, really didn't have any issues with it. My x and I pretty much agreed on everything before filing so that wasn't an problem.
If she is going to have one I then I would suggest getting. Plus, if you don't live in a community property state there might be some different laws.
neither one of us can really afford an attorney - that's the problem.
We met with a mediator together and that mediator wanted a $3,000 retainer right up front!
where do I find help on this one - I'd like to have legal help, but it'll be hard for me to pay for it.
We met with a mediator together and that mediator wanted a $3,000 retainer right up front!
where do I find help on this one - I'd like to have legal help, but it'll be hard for me to pay for it.
You should use an attorney no matter how amicable. A buddy and his ex did it privately and he found out that he's still married... seven years later! 
My ex and I shared the cost for one attorney... $400 each. Sounds steep just to file the papers since we had already divided up and agreed to everything. But at least I know I it's official.
My ex and I shared the cost for one attorney... $400 each. Sounds steep just to file the papers since we had already divided up and agreed to everything. But at least I know I it's official.
So you guys filled out all the necessary paperwork and then the lawyer just made it official? Who served who and all that crap?Originally posted by LordOpie
You should use an attorney no matter how amicable. A buddy and his ex did it privately and he found out that he's still married... seven years later!
My ex and I shared the cost for one attorney... $400 each. Sounds steep just to file the papers since we had already divided up and agreed to everything. But at least I know I it's official.
My parents did, not sure how they did it, I'll ask tonight.
HAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA...***gasp**...HAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
..ugg..
Boy N8, I am sure that helps Mark a lot.
Dude - why do you have to be such a major arrogant prick all the time?Originally posted by N8
HAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA...***gasp**...HAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
..ugg..
Thanks for all your help asshat!
Where is the giving the finger smiley when I need it.
Oh, sorry...
I meant to say, don't do it. Get your own lawyer, and a good one, esp if there are kids involved.
You will have to pay some serious $'s but it's pay now or pay a lot more later (usually).
If you two are not emotional and you are both rational about the divorce, it is advisable to get a Family Mediator to review your property settlements and file the paperwork with the court. This is the most economical route to go from what I've been told from a guy and his ex who did it this way. Silly me, I assumed I could do the same but then my ex was not able to do it...
Divorce is just like beating your head against a brick wall... you feel good when its over.
I meant to say, don't do it. Get your own lawyer, and a good one, esp if there are kids involved.
You will have to pay some serious $'s but it's pay now or pay a lot more later (usually).
If you two are not emotional and you are both rational about the divorce, it is advisable to get a Family Mediator to review your property settlements and file the paperwork with the court. This is the most economical route to go from what I've been told from a guy and his ex who did it this way. Silly me, I assumed I could do the same but then my ex was not able to do it...
Divorce is just like beating your head against a brick wall... you feel good when its over.
Here ya go!Originally posted by MMcG
Thanks for all your help asshat!
the lawyer filled out most of it, we just made lists of assets and debts and who got what.
She served me. I insisted since she wanted the divorce and the one who serves has to be in court. And I had a three month road trip I had to do to clear my brain, so i wasn't gonna be there.
Keep in mind, this was in FL, may be different for you.
But I still recommend sharing one lawyer instead of doing it yourself.
I'm gonna guess y'all misunderstood N8. I think he's trying to tell you that not using a lawyer is a funny and bad idea. Not that your divorce is funny.Originally posted by N8
HAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHA
..ugg..
You should be able to get it all done for under a grand if everything's amicable. Split the cost, suck it up for a while to pay the bill... then get on with yer lives knowing it was taken care of properly 
L'opie gets it....
I need to make some calls - but I'm not sure - perhaps a grand is doable in western NY - but everything seems to cost more here in CTOriginally posted by Echo
You should be able to get it all done for under a grand if everything's amicable. Split the cost, suck it up for a while to pay the bill... then get on with yer lives knowing it was taken care of properly
But I do like it here.
I just need to get my arse in gear and take some definitive action.
i think you have to divorce in the state you were married in.Originally posted by MMcG
I need to make some calls - but I'm not sure - perhaps a grand is doable in western NY - but everything seems to cost more here in CT
But I do like it here.
I just need to get my arse in gear and take some definitive action.
PS: It's time for an early mid-life crisis. Buy a motorcycle and move to CO
Nah. I got married in Nevada and divorced in California.
I didn't have to. I am thinking that probably used t be the law but not so much these days... If'n I had to file where I got married I'd have to fly to US territory of Guam...
Nope. I could get divorced in CT or NY.Originally posted by LordOpie
i think you have to divorce in the state you were married in.
PS: It's time for an early mid-life crisis. Buy a motorcycle and move to CO
The lawyer I used was about $400 and it covered the cost of drawing up the papers and filing them. I gave him a list of everything my ex and I agreed upon, he did the paperwork and filed it all and such. Neither of us actually had to appear in court. Just signed the papers and waited for them to come back.
But no matter how amiable you think it could be a lawyer's a good idea. If nothing else, then for your piece of mind that if something gets ugly, you have somewhere to turn and to tell you the truth on where things stand. (One of the scariest things I heard was when my lawyer told me just how badly I could get f**ked over in the deal because just about everything was in my name. But I only got 1/2 screwed in the deal instead of completely screwed so you live and you learn I guess!)
But no matter how amiable you think it could be a lawyer's a good idea. If nothing else, then for your piece of mind that if something gets ugly, you have somewhere to turn and to tell you the truth on where things stand. (One of the scariest things I heard was when my lawyer told me just how badly I could get f**ked over in the deal because just about everything was in my name. But I only got 1/2 screwed in the deal instead of completely screwed so you live and you learn I guess!)
I'd recommend the lawyer, but I'd also recommend spending some time in a Legal Library at your local Regional Justice Center (Courthouse).
I was a legal librarian for a bit while in college. Legal librarian's absolutely cannot give you any kind of advice, but they can give you everything you need to know about divorces. I met plenty of very unhappy people who had hired poor/bad lawyers and they didn't know if the lawyer was screwing them over on top of the ex.
If you can't afford a lawyer, spend some time in the legal library, take about $10 for photocopying instructions, step-by-step if available on what's required for filing a divorce in your state and in your circumstances. Get ALL the forms. Make 3 copies, one for you, one for her, one for the state.
Ask lots of questions. Most people are really helpful. It means standing in line, it means asking the people you will eventually file with what they want and what they need to make it a smooth and successful process. Some of them are big mean old biddies who like nothing better than to make your life miserable...but...they like it if you ask them in advance what's needed, rather than wasting their time and yours by constantly having to go back and forth until you get it right.
A good legal librarian will spend a few hours with you off and on bringing you materials and answering your questions and making sure you photocopied all the information you need. Don't be afraid to push them, but don't be mean. They deal with a lot of unhappy people on a daily basis.
Good luck!
I was a legal librarian for a bit while in college. Legal librarian's absolutely cannot give you any kind of advice, but they can give you everything you need to know about divorces. I met plenty of very unhappy people who had hired poor/bad lawyers and they didn't know if the lawyer was screwing them over on top of the ex.
If you can't afford a lawyer, spend some time in the legal library, take about $10 for photocopying instructions, step-by-step if available on what's required for filing a divorce in your state and in your circumstances. Get ALL the forms. Make 3 copies, one for you, one for her, one for the state.
Ask lots of questions. Most people are really helpful. It means standing in line, it means asking the people you will eventually file with what they want and what they need to make it a smooth and successful process. Some of them are big mean old biddies who like nothing better than to make your life miserable...but...they like it if you ask them in advance what's needed, rather than wasting their time and yours by constantly having to go back and forth until you get it right.
A good legal librarian will spend a few hours with you off and on bringing you materials and answering your questions and making sure you photocopied all the information you need. Don't be afraid to push them, but don't be mean.
They deal with a lot of unhappy people on a daily basis.Good luck!
divorce & kids = lawyer & $$
sucks....my roommate is somewhere in the middle of the process
sucks....my roommate is somewhere in the middle of the process
Law Librarians rock! I go to their christmas party every year! They make me feel like a rock star once a year! Talk about letting your hair down...Originally posted by Jr_Bullit
I'd recommend the lawyer, but I'd also recommend spending some time in a Legal Library at your local Regional Justice Center (Courthouse).
I was a legal librarian for a bit while in college. Legal librarian's absolutely cannot give you any kind of advice, but they can give you everything you need to know about divorces. I met plenty of very unhappy people who had hired poor/bad lawyers and they didn't know if the lawyer was screwing them over on top of the ex.
If you can't afford a lawyer, spend some time in the legal library, take about $10 for photocopying instructions, step-by-step if available on what's required for filing a divorce in your state and in your circumstances. Get ALL the forms. Make 3 copies, one for you, one for her, one for the state.
Ask lots of questions. Most people are really helpful. It means standing in line, it means asking the people you will eventually file with what they want and what they need to make it a smooth and successful process. Some of them are big mean old biddies who like nothing better than to make your life miserable...but...they like it if you ask them in advance what's needed, rather than wasting their time and yours by constantly having to go back and forth until you get it right.
A good legal librarian will spend a few hours with you off and on bringing you materials and answering your questions and making sure you photocopied all the information you need. Don't be afraid to push them, but don't be mean.
Good luck!
The building I work in contains the second largest private Law Library in the world. Some of them definitely break the stereotype of a librarian :devil: ......jdcamb
Did I ever tell you I love your avatar?
The Young Ones were released on DVD a while back - they were so funny!
If you're not suing for divorce, you'll still want to get a lawyer to draw up a separation agreement. Those will also serve as the terms for divorce. After the sep agreement's taken care of and filed, you wait a year before you can file for divorce. All the divorce paperwork you can do by yourself. It's just a matter of making numerous copies, getting signatures, and waiting in line at your County Clerk's office. 
Why thanks. I wish I could afford that DVD ... I could use a fix of humour right now.....jdcamb
Definately study the laws in your state. They all differ on requirements for divorce. Some require a "at fault" divorce some allow for now fault divorces.
My X and I did not use lawyers at all. We got the necessary forms at the library or at city hall (not sure, she got them). Nothing was contested. It did require a court date to make it final.
If you have kids, you will need / have to have a lawyer. Once again the requirements depend on the state.
Study up, you may be able to do everything without a lawyer. You may have to have someone else just do the paper work. You may be required to have a lawyer.
Some states require that you first file for separation and then have a waiting period, some do not.
Good luck, if you are able to keep everything amicable then you are ahead of the pack.
My X and I did not use lawyers at all. We got the necessary forms at the library or at city hall (not sure, she got them). Nothing was contested. It did require a court date to make it final.
If you have kids, you will need / have to have a lawyer. Once again the requirements depend on the state.
Study up, you may be able to do everything without a lawyer. You may have to have someone else just do the paper work. You may be required to have a lawyer.
Some states require that you first file for separation and then have a waiting period, some do not.
Good luck, if you are able to keep everything amicable then you are ahead of the pack.
I hired the cheapest lawyer I could find. $750 was his fee, not including court cost. Half up front, half when it was all final.
Kinda wish I'd paid a bit more with a better lawyer before it was all complete. He was SO slack. I had to hound him constantly, and it took a couple of months longer due to his bad work habits.
Cr@ppy thing to have to go through. Sorry man.
Kinda wish I'd paid a bit more with a better lawyer before it was all complete. He was SO slack. I had to hound him constantly, and it took a couple of months longer due to his bad work habits.
Cr@ppy thing to have to go through. Sorry man.
My ex and I agreed to legal arbitration that included a review of our documents by an attorney and financial situation by an accountant - the process was pretty painless and involved about 45 minutes of courtroom time. They key was no children and the fact that she had a better paying job than I had - I was advised to sue her for 18 months of support and a portion of her retirement but... that just did not feel right to me. In the end we sold off a bunch of crap, cashed in an IRA to pay CC debt and buy me a home with the same amount of equity as the home she was keeping. I suggest you try arbitratration (about $500.00), file your papers and represent yourselves only if the divorce is a mutually agreed decision.
RIP OFF!!!Originally posted by MMcG
We met with a mediator together and that mediator wanted a $3,000 retainer right up front!
Ahhh HA! He is old. So.......... how would you prefer to off yourself?Originally posted by LordOpie
<snip>
PS: It's time for an early mid-life crisis. Buy a motorcycle and move to CO
-S.S.-
VIVIAN!!!
Protect youself and get a lawyer, sorry to hear about the divorce, or is it a good thing?
I filed, then my ex moved to California, found a lawyer to take the case with no retainer, sued me and won 58% of my gross earnings, then stuck me with half of her legal fees.
The paperwork I got from the "do-it-yourself" office was very well put together. I paid $250 for everything and it was all done by the state laws as required. She just found a better deal and I lost my ass over it. Neither of us could afford a lawyer at the time, so it seemed like a good idea.
The paperwork I got from the "do-it-yourself" office was very well put together. I paid $250 for everything and it was all done by the state laws as required. She just found a better deal and I lost my ass over it. Neither of us could afford a lawyer at the time, so it seemed like a good idea.