As we all know, suspension is the most expensive and therefore most important part of any mountain biker's vocabulary. Things like high-speed compression, low-speed circumference and static hysteresis must all be considered in order to get your bike dialled, as well as shiny enough to post photos of on the internet. Everyone can tell if your suspension setup sucks just by looking at photos of your bike, and let me tell you the internet is a harsh mistress. You might even be that dude who rips on everyone else for no reason. You do NOT want to be ostracised from this social circle, jerk.
So in order to receive positive rep, it is critical that you follow the correct procedure to set up your suspension:
1. Ask a professional. There are many of these on the Ridemonkey downhill forum, colloquially known as f=19 to IT types and web design nerds. Some of them even ride bikes.
2. Buy the most expensive gear you can afford. If it's not top of the line, that doesn't matter - the best you can afford is the best thing anyone would ever need. Justify it to yourself by arguing with people you've never met - they should know damn well that you don't need that adjuster. If it is top of the line, sneer at the plebs with their ported dampers. Suckers.
3. Pick a brand and hate it. This shows that you have standards, like hot girls do. Everyone will know that you're getting laid because you don't settle for second best.
4. Make sure your rear suspension is set up with exactly 33% sag. 34% is too much, 32% is too little. Ignore the fact that your bike has 25% more travel than your mate's bike.
5. Now is the time to start tooning your shuck to your riding style. Your compression should feel extra medium and your rebound speed should be acceptable. I refuse to quantify those because nobody has ever come to a consensus on whether rebound should be fast or slow and I don't want to alienate myself amongst this elite group.
6. Find a parking lot somewhere. Preferably with yellow lines so you can see them better if it's foggy. Bounce up and down on your bike. Comment to passers-by that it wallows in its travel and that your shock has too much high-speed hysteresis. Inappropriate comments like "Have to wait til I get it on the trail" will see you kicked right off the internet.
7. Give up and get your shuck tooned by a professional. Reinstall it on your bike the day after you inform Ridemonkey that it's the best thing ever.
You have now successfully concluded advanced suspension setup 101. If you're not winning world cup races by now, it's probably because you need matching anodised pedals and headset.
So in order to receive positive rep, it is critical that you follow the correct procedure to set up your suspension:
1. Ask a professional. There are many of these on the Ridemonkey downhill forum, colloquially known as f=19 to IT types and web design nerds. Some of them even ride bikes.
2. Buy the most expensive gear you can afford. If it's not top of the line, that doesn't matter - the best you can afford is the best thing anyone would ever need. Justify it to yourself by arguing with people you've never met - they should know damn well that you don't need that adjuster. If it is top of the line, sneer at the plebs with their ported dampers. Suckers.
3. Pick a brand and hate it. This shows that you have standards, like hot girls do. Everyone will know that you're getting laid because you don't settle for second best.
4. Make sure your rear suspension is set up with exactly 33% sag. 34% is too much, 32% is too little. Ignore the fact that your bike has 25% more travel than your mate's bike.
5. Now is the time to start tooning your shuck to your riding style. Your compression should feel extra medium and your rebound speed should be acceptable. I refuse to quantify those because nobody has ever come to a consensus on whether rebound should be fast or slow and I don't want to alienate myself amongst this elite group.
6. Find a parking lot somewhere. Preferably with yellow lines so you can see them better if it's foggy. Bounce up and down on your bike. Comment to passers-by that it wallows in its travel and that your shock has too much high-speed hysteresis. Inappropriate comments like "Have to wait til I get it on the trail" will see you kicked right off the internet.
7. Give up and get your shuck tooned by a professional. Reinstall it on your bike the day after you inform Ridemonkey that it's the best thing ever.
You have now successfully concluded advanced suspension setup 101. If you're not winning world cup races by now, it's probably because you need matching anodised pedals and headset.
maybe i need to beef up on TL shiz.
