[Toshi]

Any flatlander Floridians here? I'll be in the Hollywood area at the end of March for a conference. Any tips on restaurants, in particular?

I'd rather avoid getting my face eaten by a bath salts aficionado, if that helps to guide neighborhood suggestions.

 

[SkaredShtles]

You're gonna want to keep with a steady intake of rum.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

I suggest that you burn Miami.

 

[stevew]

dirty bomb?

 

[jstuhlman]

Concur wholeheartedly with the 'stachio'd one having had to love in south Florida for three long years.

that being said, we had great asian at Hakkasan in December. For a bit more casual with good presentation, Barton G is worth a shot.

 

[Westy]

Get drunk stay drunk leave asap.

 

[Toshi]

 

[jdcamb]

Trump Hollywood. Free Buffet with the room. Access to a awesome beach. His steaks were good. Cheap booze.

 

[Toshi]

That's not happening.

 

[Westy]

That's not happening.

You could just visit the place and just take a dump in an elevator.

 

[jdcamb]

That's not happening.

Other then Applebees there is not much else there....

 

[JohnE]

Just dont...

 

[Scrub]

Say hi to Crockett and Tubbs

 

[Toshi]

I booked myself a tour on Wednesday to see the Everglades. Must get away from all these people.

 

[Jm_]

Ah yes, the swamp.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

Ah yes, the swamp.

What's left of the swamp. For now.

 

[CBJ]

Go to Wynwood and see the street art. Buy beans and take home and get a coffee at Panther Coffee. There is a really god Taco place next to Panther. Then walk over to Wynwood brewing and get a couple of beers on tap.

 

[jdcamb]

Go to a Cuban restaurant and get a Cuban sandwich or Boliche. There is a Waffle House on the beach also...

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

Write yourself a prescription for antibiotics and leave immediately.

 

[Westy]

I can't think of two populations Toshi would stick out more in, Miami or with the swamp people?

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

Get breast implants ?

 

[Toshi]

I can't think of two populations Toshi would stick out more in, Miami or with the swamp people?

There is a disturbing lack of beards in Miami. It's like no one has even heard of artisanal axes!



No, seriously, the guys here all seem to be clean shaven with all sorts of gel and crap in their hair. So not my place.

 

[Westy]

There is a disturbing lack of beards in Miami. It's like no one has even heard of artisanal axes!



No, seriously, the guys here all seem to be clean shaven with all sorts of gel and crap in their hair. So not my place.

So you are more of a swamp person?

 

[Toshi]

So you are more of a swamp person?

Since I can shoot the shit about Powerstrokes and Duramaxes and the like I'd probably fit in more in the swamp, as long as I keep my foreign name a secret.

 

[StiHacka]

Since I can shoot the shit about Powerstrokes and Duramaxes and the like I'd probably fit in more in the swamp, as long as I keep my foreign name a secret.

Wear gator boots, that should help.

 

[Westy]

Since I can shoot the shit about Powerstrokes and Duramaxes and the like I'd probably fit in more in the swamp, as long as I keep my foreign name a secret.

If they figure out your ain't 100% white god fearin' Merican, just tell them you know kung-fu. They may not like you, but they will fear and respect you.

 

[jdcamb]

If they figure out your ain't 100% white god fearin' Merican, just tell them you know kung-fu. They may not like you, but they will fear and respect you.

Who here hasn't prevented themselves from being a victim of a street crime by pretending they somehow knew Kung Fu? Nothing perpetuates crazy like Kung Fu. I have a Grey belt myself....

 

[Toshi]

Tonight was John Wick 2 and Thai food.
Tomorrow is Logan then sushi.
Tuesday is Barton G.
Wednesday is hanging with the swamp folk in lieu of learning stuff at the conference, then Indian.
Thursday is Hakkasan with local friends (musicians whose work is supported by the NEA, incidentally).
Friday is the Keys.

I'd see more movies yet but didn't really see anything else that piques my interest.

 

[jstuhlman]

i'm really not seeing enough hookers, blow, or bath salts in this thread. are you sure you're really in south florida?

if you want an insane eye-opening everglades experience drive down to shark valley. more gators than you can shake a stick at. make sure to go to the observation tower so you can look down and see how truly surrounded by those fuckers you are...

snorkeling in the keys is nice.

miami art museum (now called the perez) is worth a visit.

mojitos. you should drink a lot of them.

 

[Westy]

i'm really not seeing enough hookers, blow, or bath salts in this thread. are you sure you're really in south florida?

if you want an insane eye-opening everglades experience drive down to shark valley. more gators than you can shake a stick at. make sure to go to the observation tower so you can look down and see how truly surrounded by those fuckers you are...

snorkeling in the keys is nice.

miami art museum (now called the perez) is worth a visit.

mojitos. you should drink a lot of them.

Toshi is man of both science and the arts. Perhaps you could connect him with a black turtlenecked associate. I am sure a lively debate over turn signal color would ensue.

 

[Jm_]

i'm really not seeing enough hookers, blow, or bath salts in this thread. are you sure you're really in south florida?

if you want an insane eye-opening everglades experience drive down to shark valley. more gators than you can shake a stick at. make sure to go to the observation tower so you can look down and see how truly surrounded by those fuckers you are...

snorkeling in the keys is nice.

miami art museum (now called the perez) is worth a visit.

mojitos. you should drink a lot of them.

Aren't there some cool caves beneath the sinkholes too?

 

[Toshi]

Caves + sinkholes + alligators == :nononocat.gif:

 

[ALEXIS_DH]

whats up with the miami hate?

I love miami... usually go,and lay on the beach in boca raton, the keys or at the seaside hotels at collins ave... the palms and the di-lido used to be my family go-to hotels when I was a kid.

atlantic water is warm, seafront hotels, the sand is white and coarse; cant complain about that.
and biscayne blvd aint a bad place for an afternoon walk or an errrbon bike ride.

 

[mandown]

Walk with a limp, like an old school pimp.

Rock some vans, in the sand.

Get a red bull and vodka up in your hand.

Drink all day, play all night.

Get your hands up.


Seems like a town where one might want to go visit a local peeler bar.

 

[jonKranked]

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

Has no one suggested a strip club visit in the land of silicone ?

Teh disappoint.

 

[jonKranked]

Has no one suggested a strip club visit in the land of silicone ?

Teh disappoint.

yea, but bath salts.

 

[Toshi]

whats up with the miami hate?

It's about the opposite of what I want from a city:

- flat
- sprawling
- traffic
- bad drivers
- Zika
- I'm effectively the minority (opposite of Hawaii where I get my revenge!)
- half the city seems built in 1970 and not maintained since
- everyone acts like a temporarily embarrassed millionaire

That said, the presentation of dishes at Barton G was amusing and the food was good. Twice as much as it would have been otherwise but for a lark on a trip I'm cool with that. I sat at the bar and tipped well since the bartender is constantly moving, making all of these elaborate drinks for the whole house.

Seems like a town where one might want to go visit a local peeler bar.

Has no one suggested a strip club visit in the land of silicone ?

Teh disappoint.

I do believe mandown had that covered right above you. As wouldn't surprise many I've never been to a strip club. Just doesn't seem my thing.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

I do believe mandown had that covered right above you. As wouldn't surprise many I've never been to a strip club. Just doesn't seem my thing.

Ah, missed that one...

You really should go at least once in your life. If not for ogling naked womenz, for the grand spectacle of people watching that only that environment can produce.

 

[Toshi]

It seems like it'd be watching a Jim Carrey movie. I don't like watching other people do cringe-worthy things, and I'm not talking about the dancers with their C-section scars and all.