Awesome! I really hope you get a response.
Ridiculous Roommate Wanted Ad
- Thread starter drkenan
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- boredmonkey
He could sell his shoes and Bam, one month of rent.
Goddam Asheville Gutter Punks.
I bet that house wreaks of body odor and garbage like no one else on this forum can comprehend. A thousand dead skunks wouldn't mask their smell. Their unparalleled lack of hygiene is their fashion statement.
I bet that house wreaks of body odor and garbage like no one else on this forum can comprehend. A thousand dead skunks wouldn't mask their smell. Their unparalleled lack of hygiene is their fashion statement.
I have two solutions to this.
One: Dirty Hippie Soap. They'd like this, its vegan soap, promising not to get you clean or kill anything, including your stench.
Two: My preferred method...
Sorry Dirt, but I don't think you quite understand. Asheville Gutter Punk stench is insanely worse than hippy funk. It will literally make you vomit in the summer. They can go years without showering or washing their clothes. Homeless winos cross the street to avoid them and their putrid stank.
For every problem, including stank ass gutter punks, there is a solution my friend....
Yeah, but then your wood chipper and any fresh mulch would be tainted with that stench for years. Maggots wouldn't even go near them. Vultures would be incapacitated from a mile off. These fvkkers stink!
That reminds me of this dude saying he "licked the crust" off of some girl.
I know what its like. When I lived in Pittsburgh I used to hang out at the Peach Pitt and Joe Hammer Trade Center.
Napalm?
No you're gettin it.
How do you tell when a Gutter Punk has a girlfriend ?
When he has two clean fingers.
When he has two clean fingers.
So its after midnight and I have yet to get a reply to my email...
In my defense it has to do with the same broad subject of choice in food. So there.
This is the best post I have ever seen on a forum.
More Asheville goodness.
Maybe this guy could be her roommate in 6 months when he gets out of jail.
http://www.foxcarolina.com/news/22236243/detail.html
Maybe this guy could be her roommate in 6 months when he gets out of jail.
http://www.foxcarolina.com/news/22236243/detail.html
Sh1t - that guy is an amateur. Remember this?More Asheville goodness.
Maybe this guy could be her roommate in 6 months when he gets out of jail.
http://www.foxcarolina.com/news/22236243/detail.html
Ha - that 2nd photo would definitely get her attention. She has a bunch of piercings and probably some jailhouse tattoos. One of those hipster types.
She IS a "punk/metal lady" afterall.
so dirt, did you ever get a response? kenan, did your friend get his belongings without getting knifed or contracting gangrene?
I don't know how I missed this thread before but its gold! I eagerly await more.
Not even so much as a peep.
After I finish an email to my douche nozzle Ivy League brother, I'll fire off another missive in her direction.
After I finish an email to my douche nozzle Ivy League brother, I'll fire off another missive in her direction.
Today's transmission:
Goddamn gutter punks....
I think I am just going to keep driving the strange and the insane of my emails up daily until I get a reply...
Goddamn gutter punks....
Your doing God's work sir. Bravo!
God works in mysterious and sometimes disturbing ways.
I am just the instrument of the flying spaghetti monster.
I am just the instrument of the flying spaghetti monster.
Did you ask if you could "hit it" from time to time?
My friend is going to get his stuff out today and tomorrow...we'll see how it pans out.
And Dirt - that sh1t is gold!
And Dirt - that sh1t is gold!
Hey Kenan,
Why not have your bud pay $5 per homie to drive some of the vagrants from behind your old office over there to get his stuff?
Why not have your bud pay $5 per homie to drive some of the vagrants from behind your old office over there to get his stuff?
Genius! That'll be tomorrow's email idea.
"I'm kinda into the whole metal chick/hard core/funky gutter punk thing. Do you think maybe from time to time we could take a shower and then we could take turns penetrating each other while my Lizard watches..."
^^^^^Awesome.
You're still not getting this. They do not participate in standard human hygiene practices. An Asheville gutter punk takes great pride in their nasty-ass stank and uber-politically correct social stance. It's one of the strangest subcultures I have ever experienced. Don't get me wrong, some of them are good people, but they all wreak of the foulest body odor imaginable. They are in direct funk competition with the Left Over Phish Panic crowd, and they win every time.
Try being a little more politically correct, ask her if she has a box you can put your junk in when you move in.
So you are the fork or the spoon?
You realize that Ian is just trolling her, right?
Jack's still a little bitter. You see...he moved to Asheville in hopes of immersing himself in it's ever growing art and culture scene surrounded by epic amounts of riding. Instead, he soon found out that our art scene was actually just trust account kids driving hummers dealing dope because they can and panhandling to "experience" true cultural revelation.You realize that Ian is just trolling her, right?
He was surrounded by false little beggars and dred-locked elitists wallowing in their own stench only to prove the point that they could indeed "live modestly". Each grimy little beggar and incense drenched culturally cliche rich kid tried to lord over the true artists and artisans and, much like their wealthy parents, oppress the inspirations of the soulful, well intentioned craftsmen such as Jack.
Ya don't say?
Seriously, he acts like there's some "special breed" of gutter punks down there. And believe you me, that's a complete crock. Crust punx in Asheville smell the same as crust punx in boston smell the same as crust punx in Ithaca smell the same as crust punx in pittsburgh smell the same as crust punx in socal. How do they smell? BAD. But its the same kind of bad. There's nothing special about asheville crust punx. Maybe the dirty souf crusties get a little more ripe during the summer, but that's it.
Yea, but its a great place to visit!
there's something extra awful about slow simmered, high humidity hippie stank.