[DRB]

I normally ride with mountain bikers on the road. Tonight I got talked into going on one of the big road rides locally. Its a big fast ride with 50+ riders. I was minding my p's and q's because my normal road rides are messy affairs with lots of cutthroat behavior abiding by the NASCAR ethos (rubbin's racin')

So as on my way I am repeating the following in my head...

1. Stay in a straight line without a lot of excess maneuvering
2. No sudden braking or accelerations
3. Warn of upcoming crap in the road
4. Pull thru without speeding up and slide over
5. If you are coming from the back and rejoining give a healthy yell

No rocket science but...

It was like no one in the group knew what the hell was going on. I know for a fact that there were some pros and 1s in the group but it was like riding with a herd of cats.

I will say this my heart rate was up because I was totally freaked out. I also was concentrating so hard on not getting killed that I hung on the entire time. So that was the one positive thing.

 

[DirtyDog]

I've never heard of number 5. Fun stuff though. Dangerous as hell, I can't believe I've never been in a bad pile up.

 

[LordOpie]

50 riders? That sounds like chaos no matter how experienced they are.

Did you have fun?

 

[SPINTECK]

You were with the A group- there are no rules there usually because everyone has a different lactate threshold and specialty. Some guys go for the long breaks, so are sprinters hanging on till the end.

I hate doing B rides b/c the roadies are all into that etiquette crap. When you're riding hard and about to pass out, which half the pack is, you just look at people's hips and try to conserve energy until you make a move or just finish.

You must admit it was fun and exiting. I absolutely love the A rides around philly and allendton (t-town velodrome) Do those for 3 months and you'll be a monster with head-game tactics!!

 

[splat]

I've never heard of number 5. Fun stuff though. Dangerous as hell, I can't believe I've never been in a bad pile up.

Except I've been in a Pile up and it sucks,I learned the hardway in a Pile up and you know youre going down look for another body to land on.


and if you think the A ride is crazy , try the last lap of a Crit! that is total insanity!

 

[Westy]

I hate group road rides. People act like morons trying to prove their dick is bigger, by not paying attention or just not knowing how to handle a bike.

Last group century I did the first 5 miles was a hammerfest in order to break up into faster slower/groups. After that no one in the lead group would pedal faster than 10 mph because they didn't want to end up out front doing any work. Riders were putting along 4 wide. A friend and I got sick of it and went to the front and started pulling the group along in a nice single line. Out of 50 riders only 5 of us were willing to take pulls. Of course when we got to the big climbs the 5 of us had little left. One jackass who did no work had the balls to come up to me at the end and taunt me for blowing my wad too early and he finished before I did. It was the closest I have ever come to punching a stranger.

 

[SPINTECK]

Except I've been in a Pile up and it sucks,I learned the hardway in a Pile up and you know youre going down look for another body to land on.


and if you think the A ride is crazy , try the last lap of a Crit! that is total insanity!

If you have handling skills, like most downhillers, just stay on the inside of the top 20 or so riders in a crit. A lot of crashes go to the outside and downhillers usually think to bunny hop a curb if necessary anyway. i only ever shoot outside if I jump on a break and sometimes you can do it from the inside anyway. FUN STUFF- can't wait for training rides- you got me stoked!

 

[LordOpie]

EDIT: was replying to Westy.

^ agreed. And ya should've c0ckpunched the muncher.

I'm a fat, slow 'tard and if I have to jump around you to pull the pack of 20, then you should be ashamed... this happened several times in the Moab century. I kept hoping to organize the group, but I finally gave up and rode on with just a friend.

 

[gonefirefightin]

I race every month on a major run somewhere in the states on the road bike to stay in shape for DH season. I have yet to actually ride in an event or club ride where everyone abides by the road rules.

I was riding with discovery team cyclists in north carolina over the winter and more people wrecked because of stupid manuevers.

I have learned to road race like you are in los angeles during rush hour traffic on a motorcycle.

 

[LordOpie]

...

dude, there's no way we can ride together. In shape, I doubt I could keep up with you.

 

[SPINTECK]

I hate group road rides. People act like morons trying to prove their dick is bigger, by not paying attention or just not knowing how to handle a bike.

Last group century I did the first 5 miles was a hammerfest in order to break up into faster slower/groups. After that no one in the lead group would pedal faster than 10 mph because they didn't want to end up out front doing any work. Riders were putting along 4 wide. A friend and I got sick of it and went to the front and started pulling the group along in a nice single line. Out of 50 riders only 5 of us were willing to take pulls. Of course when we got to the big climbs the 5 of us had little left. One jackass who did no work had the balls to come up to me at the end and taunt me for blowing my wad too early and he finished before I did. It was the closest I have ever come to punching a stranger.

Yeah, fortunately or unfortunately that's the game. It's kind of cool b/c sometimes the smartest team or rider, not the strongest, wins. And this what always makes training rides so great-tactics. Next time conspire w/your friends on a tactic- breakaway in twos and make the others chase you down with one of your stronger boys just sitting in. It's fun- especially if one of you cross the line first and the usual gang are wondering how it happened.

 

[SPINTECK]

dude, there's no way we can ride together. In shape, I doubt I could keep up with you.

I"m a sprinter, so I'm worthless if I can't draft someone. I also can't climb very well. So you see why I rely on tactics and knowing who to draft or break with. I need a tour of the Denver area and I hear your tour company is dirt cheap

 

[LordOpie]

Dirt cheap? I'm a $2 crack ho.

 

[SPINTECK]

well, baby's gotta eat I suppose

 

[LordOpie]

well, baby's gotta eat I suppose

he's got tits for that.

Mr. Hertz: Bravo, Mr. Hero. Bravo.
Mr. Smith: Why are you trying to kill this woman?
[Hertz laughs]
Mr. Smith: Something funny?
Mr. Hertz: Well I was just remembering a limmerick. There once was a woman who was quite begat. She had three babies named Nat, Pat, and Tat. She said it was fun in the breeding, but found it was hell in the feeding when she saw there was no tit for Tat. You have caused me no end of trouble, but now I shall return the favor. Tit for Tat, right?

 

[Westy]

Yeah, fortunately or unfortunately that's the game. It's kind of cool b/c sometimes the smartest team or rider, not the strongest, wins. And this what always makes training rides so great-tactics. Next time conspire w/your friends on a tactic- breakaway in twos and make the others chase you down with one of your stronger boys just sitting in. It's fun- especially if one of you cross the line first and the usual gang are wondering how it happened.

But a charity ride on open roads isn't a good enough reason for me to put myself in danger. I use all the dirty tricks in the book riding with my friends, we have a blast messing with each other.

Another ride I was on I was asking people to stop for a piss break. When the pack stopped one guy got all upset because he had just pissed himself instead of getting dropped.

 

[SPINTECK]

But a charity ride on open roads isn't a good enough reason for me to put myself in danger. I use all the dirty tricks in the book riding with my friends, we have a blast messing with each other.

Another ride I was on I was asking people to stop for a piss break. When the pack stopped one guy got all upset because he had just pissed himself instead of getting dropped.

I didn't read the charity part and you're right, but it is funny that most big charity rides have a little unofficial race in the top 20 or 50 guys. It's crazy on open roads and kind of stupid. That's what happens when you wear lycra too many day in a row.

The piss part is funny - I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT!! Pro-peeing, yes, but flooding the lycra?? Hope it was a warm day.

 

[LordOpie]

why not just pull the pant leg out and piss down your leg if you're that desperate?

Serial Midget did that once and knocked over three riders.

 

[Serial Midget]

why not just pull the pant leg out and piss down your leg if you're that desperate?

Serial Midget did that once and knocked over three riders.

Peeing off the saddle is an art. I am an artist. 'nuf said.

 

[Silver]

I don't ride with groups on the road, as a rule. The asshole factor of the entire group goes up exponentially for every person you add.

 

[DRB]

50 riders? That sounds like chaos no matter how experienced they are.

Did you have fun?

It was fun just not what I expected. Next time I'll manage my expectations a little better.

I now know where the assholes who are constantly yelling at folks in the group for minor offenses are created. Though thinking about it in hindsight it probably was a handful of the dolts sprinkled throughout the group that were reeking havoc.

 

[loco-gringo]

I've never heard of number 5. Fun stuff though. Dangerous as hell, I can't believe I've never been in a bad pile up.

I had a plastic surgeon get his hand broken in a crash because he pulled off and wasn't really paying attention to the fact that someone could have bridged. He pulled in and banged the other guy. It was two people's fault, but he was pissed the other guy didn't announce that he joined the group. It's roadies' way of saying they don't have any accountability for their own safety apparently.

I know how DRB feels and won't be taking wheels until my shoulder is completely healed.

 

[r464]

I absolutely love the A rides around philly and allendton (t-town velodrome) Do those for 3 months and you'll be a monster with head-game tactics!!

The Velodrome rides can be very entertaining

 

[skinny mike]

and if you think the A ride is crazy , try the last lap of a Crit! that is total insanity!

this is exactly what i'm worried about next weekend. i've decided to do the uvm on-campus crit for the hell of it, and since i'm semi out of shape and have never done a road race before i'll be in the men's intro class. i have heard horror stories about how poor the handling skills of most men's intro riders are.

the race is only 15 minutes so my plan is to be in a constant sprint until i throw up. should be a fun time.

i'm also going to look like a toolbag in my mountain biking garb.