Science fair (Must-See!!!)
- Thread starter MikeD
- Start date
/em weeps for the future...
this is a joke, right?
Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.
1st Place: "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)"
Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.
this one sounds kind of interesting
"Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire" - Tom Williamson (grade 12) :devil:
"Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire" - Tom Williamson (grade 12) :devil:
Ummm yeah.. Maybe thay should have tried to make a planet of living things in seven days
That site seems pretty legit, But I agree. I can't believe that it is for real.
Once I dug in and started seeing just how much info was there on so many topics, I had a hard time believing someone could go through that much just to make a joke...
Did you guys click any of the other tabs?????
WOW.
MD
Did you guys click any of the other tabs?????
WOW.
MD
This one belongs in the Mud Hunnies forum, just for gut laughs -
"2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker."
"2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker."
Wow!! That's pretty scary!! It looks like a science fair that would have taken place in 1902.Originally posted by MikeD
I don't know if this is real or not. It's so Onion-esque it's uncanny.
No one's commented on middle school, 2nd place.
No, it can't be real. Can it
?
MD
No, Mike, it's not true
Kinda makes you want to give some of these people a good slappin', don't it? :nuts:
How did you FIND this?
Honestly, this is one of the funniest things I've ever read. It boggles my mind. It's so outlandish it actually discredits "reasonable" creationists...
I can't believe they actually rewarded these kids for their "scientific" experiments... I'm not sure whether to laugh, cry or vomit.
Honestly, this is one of the funniest things I've ever read. It boggles my mind. It's so outlandish it actually discredits "reasonable" creationists...
I can't believe they actually rewarded these kids for their "scientific" experiments... I'm not sure whether to laugh, cry or vomit.
I don't think even the Onion could come up with anything this good:
"Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire" - Tom Williamson (grade 12)"
""Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False" - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)"
and
"social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay:
Great cause and effect relationship. Priceless.
"Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire" - Tom Williamson (grade 12)"
""Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False" - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)"
and
"social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay:
Great cause and effect relationship. Priceless.
come on thats a joke!!!
right?
right?
It looks like it should be but I really think it is WAY too elaborite to be a joke.Originally posted by rbx
came on thats a joke!!!
right?
So it's not just a clever screen name then?Originally posted by LordOpie
WTF?
I therefore submit that I am God.
You gotta check out their store!
Ruby Matrimony Thong? WTF?
Ruby Matrimony Thong? WTF?
http://www.cnn.com/2000/fyi/teachers.ednews/12/06/student.scores/
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1998/08/980825075401.htm
if that page is real, i guess its no surprise.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1998/08/980825075401.htm
if that page is real, i guess its no surprise.
Damnit, the crotchless panties are you of stock...Originally posted by Spud
You gotta check out their store!
Ruby Matrimony Thong? WTF?
Read the fine print........
This uncomfortable undergarment will be a daily reminder to unmarried women to find a husband and a emergency moral reminder to her would-be-suitor. (For use under traditional underwear only.)
Darn old athiest goats....
from Terry Pratchett's book "Eric".
(paraphrasing cuz I don't remember the page)
The afterlife is what you make it. Really, anything can happen. People only wind up in hell cuz they think they're supposed to go there for a sin or two. That's why it's important to shoot missionaries as soon as you see them.
(paraphrasing cuz I don't remember the page)
The afterlife is what you make it. Really, anything can happen. People only wind up in hell cuz they think they're supposed to go there for a sin or two. That's why it's important to shoot missionaries as soon as you see them.
National Creation Science Understanding Deteriorating
(5/1/2002) According to the secular National Science Foundation, public understanding of Creation Science in America has slipped in the past year with only 47% of respondents correctly answering "false" to the statement "human beings, as we know them today, developed from earlier species of animals" (also, a Gallup poll from 2001 showed that only 45% correctly agreed with the statement "God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so"). This increase in ignorance is most likely due to the rise in Evolutionism propaganda. There was, however, some scant good news in this deplorable report: America still leads the industrialized world in Creation Science knowledge and, although only 45% favored the removal of the pseudoscience of Evolutionism, 68% called for the return of sound Creation Science to our nation's curriculum.
(5/1/2002) According to the secular National Science Foundation, public understanding of Creation Science in America has slipped in the past year with only 47% of respondents correctly answering "false" to the statement "human beings, as we know them today, developed from earlier species of animals" (also, a Gallup poll from 2001 showed that only 45% correctly agreed with the statement "God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so"). This increase in ignorance is most likely due to the rise in Evolutionism propaganda. There was, however, some scant good news in this deplorable report: America still leads the industrialized world in Creation Science knowledge and, although only 45% favored the removal of the pseudoscience of Evolutionism, 68% called for the return of sound Creation Science to our nation's curriculum.
OHIO! WE'RE IN AGREEMENT!
As a Christian....I'm still trying to figure out the woes of getting my glass repaired....good thing Dr. Troy Franklin has posted this warning for me.
-----(March 28, 2003) Dr. Troy Franklin, OBJECTIVE occult expert, has brought to our attention a disturbing new danger to weak-spirited Christians and unsaved persons that we feel needs to be reported.
As he tells it, while out at a local supermarket shopping for food for his cat, Dr. Franklin noticed one of those small tents advertising "Free Rock Chip Repair" that have been springing up in our nation's parking lots. Curious, he went to enquire about getting a ding in his windshield sealed, only to learn that the person manning the tent had other intentions, namely to try and recruit Dr. Franklin into a cult!
Fortunately, the good doctor has become quite immune to cultic recruiting ploys from his years studying their tactics, and thus he was able to extricate himself from the situation with his soul unharmed. However, those less skilled in their Faith -- and especially those of false faiths or no faith at all -- would have soon found themselves back at the cult headquarters doing all manner of unspeakable rites and blasphemies... or maybe even brainwashed into manning a tent of their own.
For the safety of your soul, do not be tempted by the lure of impulse rock chip repair from strangers in parking lots. It may say free, but it could cost you your soul! If you need your windshield fixed, go to a qualified Christian repair shop.-------
what the hell is wrong with these people!!!!!
i couldn't find any contact info for these loons.....wanted to ask them a few questions from a "concerned christian"
-----(March 28, 2003) Dr. Troy Franklin, OBJECTIVE occult expert, has brought to our attention a disturbing new danger to weak-spirited Christians and unsaved persons that we feel needs to be reported.
As he tells it, while out at a local supermarket shopping for food for his cat, Dr. Franklin noticed one of those small tents advertising "Free Rock Chip Repair" that have been springing up in our nation's parking lots. Curious, he went to enquire about getting a ding in his windshield sealed, only to learn that the person manning the tent had other intentions, namely to try and recruit Dr. Franklin into a cult!
Fortunately, the good doctor has become quite immune to cultic recruiting ploys from his years studying their tactics, and thus he was able to extricate himself from the situation with his soul unharmed. However, those less skilled in their Faith -- and especially those of false faiths or no faith at all -- would have soon found themselves back at the cult headquarters doing all manner of unspeakable rites and blasphemies... or maybe even brainwashed into manning a tent of their own.
For the safety of your soul, do not be tempted by the lure of impulse rock chip repair from strangers in parking lots. It may say free, but it could cost you your soul! If you need your windshield fixed, go to a qualified Christian repair shop.-------
what the hell is wrong with these people!!!!!
i couldn't find any contact info for these loons.....wanted to ask them a few questions from a "concerned christian"
well i mean......if there was ONE sound argument in the lot...Originally posted by JOhnG
2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
what.....
J.C. Penny - The J.C. makes us think of Jesus Christ, thus associating our Lord with the lowest monetary value, the penny (even Judas valued Him at 30 pieces of silver!).
Sears - What the flesh of the damned does in Hell. It also sounds like "seers", Pagan mystics who engaged in occult premonitions.
Cinnabon - Sounds like "Sin Upon".
Orange Julius - Named for the Pagan Emperor of Rome. This company's mascot was once a devil, until they changed it to hide their true intentions.
Hot Topic - A recent store aimed at children that openly sells devil paraphernalia. Any guess as to why "hot" is in their name?
Hallmark Gold Crown Stores - Purveyors of Santamas tree ornaments depicting anthropomorphized woodland creatures (reference to Evolutionism) and Harry Potter merchandise. What notable person will have a mark and wear crowns? [Rev. 13:16, 13:1]
J.C. Penny - The J.C. makes us think of Jesus Christ, thus associating our Lord with the lowest monetary value, the penny (even Judas valued Him at 30 pieces of silver!).
Sears - What the flesh of the damned does in Hell. It also sounds like "seers", Pagan mystics who engaged in occult premonitions.
Cinnabon - Sounds like "Sin Upon".
Orange Julius - Named for the Pagan Emperor of Rome. This company's mascot was once a devil, until they changed it to hide their true intentions.
Hot Topic - A recent store aimed at children that openly sells devil paraphernalia. Any guess as to why "hot" is in their name?
Hallmark Gold Crown Stores - Purveyors of Santamas tree ornaments depicting anthropomorphized woodland creatures (reference to Evolutionism) and Harry Potter merchandise. What notable person will have a mark and wear crowns? [Rev. 13:16, 13:1]
"IMPORTANT SITE NEWS:
June 4, 2003 -- We have moved again. While closely rereading the Statement of Faith of our previous webhost, Cross Spot, we made the sad discovery that they are not firm enough in their opposition to the erroneous doctrine of triclavianism"
Being agnostiic, I may not understand the relevance of an extra nail...but serisously, this site absolutely must be a joke.
June 4, 2003 -- We have moved again. While closely rereading the Statement of Faith of our previous webhost, Cross Spot, we made the sad discovery that they are not firm enough in their opposition to the erroneous doctrine of triclavianism"
Being agnostiic, I may not understand the relevance of an extra nail...but serisously, this site absolutely must be a joke.
Ill never underestimate the ignorance of the evangelical faith. Im all for philosophising about god/creation but when people use the bible like a tool to stop thought progression it becomes an obstacle.
An evangelical word association:
Chicken Fried Steak : Bible
Darwin : Bible
Free Thought: Bible
Science : Bible
Sex : Bible
Anyway, my point is that you cant have a conversation with an evangelical Christian because their answer is always quotes from the Bible or simply, "well the bible tells us". Very irritating.
BTW I went to an evangelical college for a little while because of a full scholarship opportunity... The lack of free thought was astounding. I just wanted to tell these prople to think instead of just referencing this book like a bad car salesman.
An evangelical word association:
Chicken Fried Steak : Bible
Darwin : Bible
Free Thought: Bible
Science : Bible
Sex : Bible
Anyway, my point is that you cant have a conversation with an evangelical Christian because their answer is always quotes from the Bible or simply, "well the bible tells us". Very irritating.
BTW I went to an evangelical college for a little while because of a full scholarship opportunity... The lack of free thought was astounding. I just wanted to tell these prople to think instead of just referencing this book like a bad car salesman.
My Mac started talking in a very scary voice last night so I turned it off. This morning, though, I found with a shredded bible hanging out of the the zip driveOriginally posted by Tenchiro
Man I knew it! Frickin' Apple!!!!
http://objective.jesussave.us/propaganda.html
I knew it! I knew we were all pagans! But seriously, what the hell? How can they possbily think that using a macintosh will turn a good ol' christian into some long haired evolution-believing hippy?? Oh wait, that's because they're crazy !! Religious fanatics piss me off to no end.
so I started doing some googling on this site, and found a whole bunch of sites talking about how its a fraud, but no real hard evidence that it isn't real.
Now, I am totally sure it is a fake, but I have to say that if it is fake, these guys did an insane amount of work, just for a joke! It actually boggles my mind how much had to go into something like this. I love it.
And as I was looking for info on this site, I ran across this. Totally brilliant;
http://williambader.com/elvis.html
Now, I am totally sure it is a fake, but I have to say that if it is fake, these guys did an insane amount of work, just for a joke! It actually boggles my mind how much had to go into something like this. I love it.
And as I was looking for info on this site, I ran across this. Totally brilliant;
http://williambader.com/elvis.html