[Austin Bike]

I can't count the number, but I was never really the guy that got a lot of chicks, so maybe I would have been if I could have read the signs.

My wife and I actually went out for drinks all the time after work and it never dawned on me that she was hitting on me. One time she finally got up the nerve to get drunk and say "you ever wonder what it would be like to kiss"? Of course she asked this on the way home after she had left the bar and I was home.

I guess that I had never thought about it.

 

[psychodad]

This woman at work found out I played hockey in some men's league and we talked about how she played in a woman's league, blah blah blah. She was very nice looking, petite, brunette, etc. She invited me skating one day and I went along, thinking "Yay, I'm going skating at lunchtime during summer! more ice time". We went to the rink, I put her skates on her like she asked, tied her laces like she asked, she rubbed my crotch with her foot, asked me about scoring and one timers and other things. She said, My legs may cramp up, you might have to rub my legs for me,
All of which went right over my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUH!!!!!!!!!
A few days later one of the other girls at work tells me that she heard I was a prude.
"Well, Barb said she was trying to have a good time with you and, well, your a dumbass."
I can only agree.

 

[JohnE]

I never scored as much as I did the summer I played on a CoEd beer league team...take that any way you want to.

 

[splat]

I never scored as much as I did the summer I played on a CoEd beer league team...take that any way you want to.

I Sort of Know what you mean, I was on one of those COed teams were we all used the same locker room ! I was married by then But wow !!!

 

[stoney]

I never scored as much as I did the summer I played on a CoEd beer league team...take that any way you want to.

I've got an even tie when I was playing on a co-ed kickball team (bar sponsored) and when I worked at the sorority...

 

[Gunner]

Freshman year of college I was at a friend's party, as usual I was piss drunk and trying to fight off puking off the back deck...when out of nowhere this girl from my dorm (who I thought was smoking hot) came and sat down next to me on the couch, and after a few minutes of drunk talk, blurted out 'I'd f@#K you tonight if you weren't so drunk.'

I've never tried sobering up so hard in my life. Epic fail.

 

[CrabJoe StretchPants]

'I'd f@#K you tonight if you weren't so drunk.'

HAHAHAHAHA.


I get the "I'd f@#K you tonight if I was more drunk" oster_oops: lthumbsdown:

 

[H8R]

Super hot chick at a party:

"You're cute but those shoes are stupid looking."


Me, drunk, looking down at my ugly Answer mountain bike shoes:

"You have a pretty mouth. Shut it."



I rode home alone that night.

 

[-Devil-]

hell, i am married ... i miss the opportunities all the time...

 

[llkoolkeg]

The only time I've ever knowingly had the opportunity to rock the 3-way I turned down because I was not attracted to one of the girls. I was playing drunken/stoned truth-or-dare during college with two friends(girls, ya smartarses) and the one I wanted to bang had just kissed and felt up the other girl. Well, it was othergirl's turn and she took a dare from hotgirl to handfluff my tool. I REALLY didn't want this troll handling my junk but tried to go along with it to not be lame. As othergirl was sliding her hand along my thigh up the leg of my knee-length shorts towards my manbits, hotgirl suddenly squished her cans together up into my face and kissed me very aggressively. Out of the corner of my eye, I then saw othergirl with a wierd look on her face right as her hand was about to reach my yambag and I just freaked out and jumped backwards crabwalk style. "I just can't do this," was the only excuse I offered repeatedly. In retrospect, I should have just sucked it up and dealt because now I'll surely go to my grave with that box still unchecked.

 

[ultraNoob]

The only time I've ever knowingly had the opportunity to rock the 3-way I turned down because I was not attracted to one of the girls. .....

that's what light switches are for

 

[SkaredShtles]

<snip>I'll surely go to my grave with that box still unchecked.

There are checkboxes?!?

 

[primo661]

back in the day, i was 15(only 18months ago haha) so my dol comes to my place for the weekend. On the saturday night once we both in our own rooms getting ready to go to sleep she sms's(texts, same thing) me and says "babes i need some help with my homework, please come through to my room". next thing i know she opens her door wearing nothing but a t shirt... As i walk in she gives me a kiss, i could swear she was trying to eat me. We make our way to the bed and my shirts off and i hear my dad shout "ANDREWWW!!!!" from down the passage. Me being me, i think im gonna be smart and use her door that opens outside and sneak into the entrance hall and as i step out of her door my dads standing in the entrance hall door im planning on sneaking back into hahaha... anyways, i just said i was helping her with homework and back it up by showing him all her files all over the floor... next day he leaves us alone together for like 5 hours when the family went to visit someone needless to say, we didnt get interupted again...

 

[ultraNoob]

^^ does reading that constitute something statutory?

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

^^ does reading that constitute something statutory?

Only if it were grammatically correct and fully comprehendible.

 

[ultraNoob]

Only if it were grammatically correct and fully comprehendible.

Cool, that and since it happened in south africa makes it legal.

 

[primo661]

sorry guys about the grammar and slang^^^^ it should be more or less correct now.. its not statutory cause you cant prove it