[BAH]

These are from my personal blog, but thought that it deserved a bigger forum

From Yesterday


So life in suburbia is not always sunshine and roses. Occasionally a decision has to be made. 2 days ago at about 9:30am this lady and her dog go walking by. The dog sniffs around and as I am watching, proceeds to
poopoo in our yard. She does nothing to stop it and I consider going out and telling her that I haven't spent a good 400 years of my life making our yard nice so her dog could use it as a toilet, but I refrain to see what happens. To her credit, she pulls out a little baggie and cleans up after the doggie, thus saving her from getting sideswiped by an xtracycle out on the road some dark and stormy night.
I forget about it, and I'm sitting at my desk the next day when at almost the exact same time, the exact same scene replays itself. This time it's a little more humorous because I know she is going to pick up after it.
TODAY, the exact same thing happens at exactly the same time. I dive for the nearest camera and snap a quick photo to capture this moment. Now I'm starting to wonder- Is she training her dog to poop in my lawn or is it just that we have such a nice lawn, doggie feels comfortable unloading?

Here's my plan. I'm going to stakeout tomorrow and see if it happens again with my long lens and get a good shot. Then I'm going to print it up at Costco in a full 12X18 size and put it on the end of a stake and 5 minutes before the scheduled arrival I'm going to post the sign along with print that reads.

Please. No poop. Thanks.

Of course I will be watching with video and see what happens. Stay tuned.

If anyone has a better idea, please let me know before tomorrow evening.


Here she is, keeping a sharp eye out for anyone who may be watching. I was a little late with the camera and fido is just finishing up.

 

[Secret Squirrel]

Sometimes ya gotta make your own fun, huh?

 

[Red Rabbit]

awsome, Just Awesome.

 

[BAH]

Disclaimer Some of the below may be a bit graphic, especially if you are eating. Do not proceed if you aren't a fan of bathroom humour.


So today I was all prepared. One camera to catch the action on video, one to get some stills. I was actually a little nervous- hoping that nothing interfered with the daily dump.

Right on schedule!!! At exactly 9:30 the approach was made.

Checking out options..

Fido decides, it is good

Putting some oompf into it.

The cleanup

Now this has become a great source of amusement for me, so I'm not going to scare them away just yet. I think tomorrow, I'm going to set up the video, and when the approach is made, I'm going to go into the garage and lay on the car horn for a second or two and then come back to see the reaction hahaahaha. Then the next day, I think I'll go and start the garage door opening and then run back in here to see the reaction.
I've got a few other ideas, but need a second person for it. Anyone want to join in the fun?????????????????????

 

[DRB]

awesome.... BAH is that guy.

Who sees this ending up in the news?

 

[Red Rabbit]

Just do the sign Idea, that one is golden. Don't overwork it.

 

[DRB]

So you now have video of dog crapping your yard?

 

[Secret Squirrel]

Ahahaa...that'll be good! You got sprinklers on a timer? That could provide for a grand finale!

 

[Secret Squirrel]

awesome.... BAH is that guy.

Who sees this ending up in the news?

No doubt about it.

 

[Slugman]

Can you set your sprinklers to go off at the appropriate time?

EDIT - D'oh... sniped by a squirrel!

 

[DRB]

Does your wife know what you are up to?

I'm sensing unapproved activity.

 

[BAH]

I do have sprinklers and yes, I can set them up to go off at the appropriate time. Fido will get the worst of it though and I'm not sure I want that

 

[skinny mike]

in 50 years, i could see BAH being that crazy old man who booby-traps his lawn.

 

[sanjuro]

attack

 

[Slugman]

I do have sprinklers and yes, I can set them up to go off at the appropriate time. Fido will get the worst of it though and I'm not sure I want that

She isn't the one crapping on your lawn... teach that dog a lesson!

 

[stinkyboy]

 

[Westy]

Dogs can be particular about where they poop and will often do it in the same place over and over. I let my dog crap freely in neighborhood on the rare times I walk him without having him unload one in my yard first. Some of the neighbors turn part of my yard into a mine field with their little rat dogs. I just push the turds out into the road so they end up stepping in it on their daily walks.

 

[BAH]

So you now have video of dog crapping your yard?

yessir

 

[jimmydean]

That's classic. Either the dog has trained itself, or she has inadvertently trailed the dog based on where your lawn falls on the timeline of the walk.

I taught my dog to poop on command. It comes in handy on trips, but it's also nice as a trick for neighbors you don't like.

 

[DRB]

She isn't the one crapping on your lawn... teach that dog a lesson!

It'd be funny if it was.

 

[Serial Midget]

This is just about as bad as it gets in the most liberal suburb in America...

Earlier this year I bought a condo within a few miles of BAH's green earth, when I finally got around to attending the homeowners association meeting the major topic was how to distinguish between cat poo and poodle poo. One fine lady even threatened a doggie dna test...

BAH, should it come to an in depth investigation, your skills and prior experience might be worth a few $$$.

 

[Slugman]

It'd be funny if it was.

some people would pay for those pictures...

 

[urbaindk]

Okay, so exactly why do you care if a dog craps in your yard if the lady is considerate enough to clean it up? Are you harvesting the grass to feed it to your family or something? If so, I'd recommend washing it first. Otherwise you're kind of weird.

 

[DRB]

This is just about as bad as it gets in the most liberal suburb in America...

Earlier this year I bought a condo within a few miles of BAH's green earth, when I finally got around to attending the homeowners association meeting the major topic was how to distinguish between cat poo and poodle poo. One fine lady even threatened a doggie dna test...

BAH, should it come to an in depth investigation, your skills and prior experience might be worth a few $$$.

If you started crapping in his front yard, you could really stir up some trouble.

 

[Serial Midget]

Its pretty obvious that you, sir, are NOT a suburban homeowner.

Okay, so exactly why do you care if a dog craps in your yard if the lady is considerate enough to clean it up? Are you harvesting the grass to feed it to your family or something? If so, I'd recommend washing it first. Otherwise you're kind of weird.

 

[Serial Midget]

If you started crapping in his front yard, you could really stir up some trouble.

My timing is all off; I'll need more fiber.

 

[urbaindk]

Its pretty obvious that you, sir, are NOT a suburban homeowner.

Actually I used to live in a neighborhood where, upon moving in, the neighbors called police for parking our moving van in front of our house. (on a city street, mind you.) I am well familiar with the issues of suburban living. I find it really amazing the lengths to which some people will go to avoid making direct human contact, hiding behind their venetian blinds, taking photos, calling the cops, etc.

 

[geargrrl]

gawd I love this place...

She isn't the one crapping on your lawn... teach that dog a lesson!

What a dog does is totally representative of the owner. So ya, she is the one letting the dog poo where it does.

I vote for the sprinkler thing. But aim them so they hit the sidewalk really good. Then, a poster size pic on the lawn if she hasn't gotten the message by then.

She does get a few points for cleaning it up.

 

[DRB]

gawd I love this place...



What a dog does is totally representative of the owner. So ya, she is the one letting the dog poo where it does.

I vote for the sprinkler thing. But aim them so they hit the sidewalk really good. Then, a poster size pic on the lawn if she hasn't gotten the message by then.

somebody's sarcasm detector is turned to the off position

 

[geargrrl]

somebody's sarcasm detector is turned to the off position

lol always.

 

[DRB]

My timing is all off; I'll need more fiber.

Maybe you could collect dog poop from local kennels and then throw it in BAH's front yard.

OR even better just get Lisa to crap on command. That would throw them for a loop having to deal with possum poop.

 

[Brian HCM#1]

That's one good looking lawn, where do you live? I feel a nice stool is about to happen

 

[Jeremy R]

Dogs can be particular about where they poop and will often do it in the same place over and over. I let my dog crap freely in neighborhood on the rare times I walk him without having him unload one in my yard first. Some of the neighbors turn part of my yard into a mine field with their little rat dogs. I just push the turds out into the road so they end up stepping in it on their daily walks.

Yep, when I lived in a neighborhood that is how it went down.
I would rather hose a random turd out of my yard, than walk my dog holding a turd bag. If my dog $hit in your yard that day, it was just your turn on the wheel of misfortune.
We had a open turd policy.

 

[splat]

You could always just open the garage and statup the chain saw , while wearing a hockey mask

 

[Serial Midget]

OH - I don't think BAH avoids human contact at all, what I see in the womans posture is that she would not allow the dog to do his thing if she knew someone could see her. She knows its wrong and she has the ability to prevent the offending bowel movement and yet she does nothing. Its nice that she cleans it up but the real issue is why she doesn't train the dog to crap in her own yard. Perhaps she likes to walk around barefoot and doesn't want fecal matter in her grass.

Actually I used to live in a neighborhood where, upon moving in, the neighbors called police for parking our moving van in front of our house. (on a city street, mind you.) I am well familiar with the issues of suburban living. I find it really amazing the lengths to which some people will go to avoid making direct human contact, hiding behind their venetian blinds, taking photos, calling the cops, etc.

 

[Serial Midget]

Maybe you could collect dog poop from local kennels and then throw it in BAH's front yard.

OR even better just get Lisa to crap on command. That would throw them for a loop having to deal with possum poop.

Opossum poop is green and runny, I would not wish that on my worst neighbor. It's nice that you remember Lisa though.

 

[Greyhound]

Spike Feresten(sp) ---late night host on Sat. on Fox -- had this same issue. He brought the TV station camera crew over and filmed the offending party. He was trying to come up with ideas like collecting the poo and then flinging it back over the wall with a "crapapult" that they built, but the network didn't think that it would be such a good idea. He settled on a giant fireman-type hose, shot over the wall that blasted the owner with a water-park sized volume of water. It was funny. I approve.

 

[moff_quigley]

BAH could attain internet legend status. Awesome.

 

[jonKranked]

My vote goes for the sprinklers. Or photoshop that lady's face onto tubgirl, and post THAT sign in your front lawn.

 

[BAH]

I find it really amazing the lengths to which some people will go to avoid making direct human contact, hiding behind their venetian blinds, taking photos, calling the cops, etc.

I'm sorry that you couldn't find the humour in my post. If I truly was upset with what was happening, I would have absolutely no problem going out there and asking her to please have her dog poop somewhere else. What I saw was a chance for a little bit of humor and thought it would be funny to document the happenings in suburban america
Please reread my 1st 2 posts and then see if that really paints a picture of some antisocial/obsessed weirdo "hiding" and taking photos.


To all others who've seen the humor and commented, thanks for the laughs this AM. I got a good kick out of the replies and will definitely keep this suburban drama that is unfolding on record:biggrin: