Crazy Bums you might've seen or heard about?

Yeah - the guy in Austin. I forget his name (I want to say Leslie) but I'm sure any Austinites will chime in - he's famous around them parts. I've heard all kinds of stories ranging from g-string modeling in the streets to playing guitar and singing terribly.

well i don't think he is homeless, but there is a guy up here in burlington named kornbread who walks around rapping and scaring all of the suburban white kids.

There is a guy here in town that wears an old-school full face helmet. He pushes around a shopping cart full of the most random crap. I've only seen him without the helmet a couple times on the bus, but he has it on when walking the streets. Safety first.

I went to San Francisco with my family when I was 19. There was this old lady with homeless dreads and keychains in her hair sitting in the same spot outside our hotel by the wharf 24/7 for the 4 days we were there. I went back myself 3 years later and she was still there. I stayed in the same hotel and once again she never moved.

I also have this sweet picture of a guy I'll figure out how to post.

I'm not sure any of the ones I knew in Colorado Springs would qualify as famous, but I got along well with a schizophrenic one named William there. He would come into Starbucks and we'd talk about complete nonsense, and we would both have a great time. He was also the best tipping homeless guy I knew, even if it was because he was afraid of the computers in the change we gave him.

Pittsburgh has (had?) sombrero man. and the crazy blind guy playing a bucket as a drum.

Rochester has a guy called jesus - another one with just one huge dreadlock and speaks in tongues.

The ones in New Orleans are awesome. Combine homeless, crazy, and cajun and you have something that communicates in a very special way. There was this guy outside Cafe Du Monde for years who's sidewalk act was to do crazy stuff with his huge mouth. He'd make weird faces, make his face "dance", and ramble on in the most ridiculous cajun dialect you've ever heard. That's what happens when dump a bunch of frenchies in a swamp.

Blankey Boy

Guy downtown, moofs around wrapped in blankets (even if it's 102 in late-July). Has the most ungodly stench from 15 feet out. Like...ridiculously pungent urine. You can smell him down the block. However, once you close the gap to within 5 feet the odor dissipates. I was not fond of this fellow when I was messengering.

Grandpa Coveralls

I was familiar with this old bastard well when I managed the sandwich shop and messengered. Wore nasty tan coveralls. He would come in once in awhile, throw a fist full of change on the counter and demand bills. Apparently, after I left the sammich place he came in so often that he was subsequently banzored. Also fond of public urination, as I witnessed on my bike from time to time. Rumored to have died in the Carls Jr. Not sure.

Eli "Cello Guy" Potash

One funny motherfvcker. If you go to Sundance in SLC, have a conversation with him. 55 years old. Schizophrenic, addicted to meth and heroin. Goddamned amazing on the cello, plays in front of the indie movie place downtown and in front of various bars/clubs. Graduate of the Curtis Institute. Has been on many albums (google his name). Needs medication in order to function, recently hasn't been taking it. Used to live in the violin-making school's dorm, but the building was sold. I don't know where he lives now, probably homeless. Had his jaw broken by his dealer. He gets free food at the sammich shop. Give him an inch, and this bastard will take a mile. You still won't hate him for it, though.

Spero said:

Yeah - the guy in Austin. I forget his name (I want to say Leslie) but I'm sure any Austinites will chime in - he's famous around them parts. I've heard all kinds of stories ranging from g-string modeling in the streets to playing guitar and singing terribly.

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That douche ran for mayor too.

btw - I said "douche" the other night and Caroline repeated it. oster_oops:

Dunno if they were homeless, probably more like wards of the state, but we used to have the gang (gaggle?) of people that hung out on the steps of a library across the street from the shop, apparently waiting on their daily meds. We assigned nick names to them all, and corresponding 'super powers'

After 4:20 in the afternoon, we would spawn adventerous tales about our own local Superfriends.

There was:
'Buddah Sun God'
'Angie and Grungie'
'Al Jolson'
'Evil Eye'

Fun times... Thanks for the memory.

Marc

Not sure if anyone has said this but in Santa Barbara we have a guy who people refer to as Jesus and he walks around downtown wearing all white and kinda looks like Jesus. He also sells bibles of gives them away sometimes and if you go up to him and ask him for money he will give it to you as long as you tell him you need it for pot. The story behind him at least from what i hear is that his father is a large owner of Sony and he has kinda gone crazy but still has tons of money and continues to get it from his father.

we also have another homeless in Goleta who thinks the government is tracking us and all those conspiracy theories. however although he is crazy and will rant about random things for instance "it freezing here in space... space that has a metallic tinge...i know what isolation is what it feels like...it is 800 below in space with a metallic tinge. he can write pretty well and can be seen at kinkos all the time here making copies of the things he writes on cardboard pieces and distributing them to local shops.

There's a famous bum in Isla Vista who goes to all the college parties, pulls out his fake eye, and drinks beer through the socket. I've seen him outside Freebirds a few times. You know him?

zmtber said:

we also have another homeless in Goleta who thinks the government is tracking us and all those conspiracy theories. however although he is crazy and will rant about random things for instance "it freezing here in space... space that has a metallic tinge...i know what isolation is what it feels like...it is 800 below in space with a metallic tinge. he can write pretty well and can be seen at kinkos all the time here making copies of the things he writes on cardboard pieces and distributing them to local shops.

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when we were down in moab a couple years ago, we camped at the end of porcupine rim on the colorado river. Every morning this bicycle riding bum dude would roll in and use our fire to cook his oatmeal. He claimed to be a vegan protester of the vietnam war. He also was a snake hunter, and they were the only meat he'd eat. Said he had killed a 25 foot rattlesnake on an indian reservation for the tribe.

I remember him sitting there on this mound of grass preaching about veganism. He pulled this fist-full of grass up and yelled "I'm on grass man!" to which i responded by pulling out my peace pipe and said "me too!" he didn't think it was as funny as i did. over those 5 days he told us more stories than I feel like typing. Anyone else run into him around moab?

Concerning the guy I mentioned earlier -

From the Austin Chronicle - "His/her eminence, Austin's queen of political soul, the downtown fixture and two-time mayoral candidate does the work of hundreds in the crusade to Keep It Weird. He has groupies. He has wannabes. If Leslie weren't here, we'd have to invent him.
Leslie can be found on Congress Avenue during the daylight hours, and on Sixth Street most nights. "

If you want to dig further, look here , but don't blame me for what you might see.

well in my canyon behind my house it pretty big in this giant carved out bush a new bum would be there every week for years it was like tis and then me and my friends went pretty close up a hill to see one of them them he screamed "if you dont leave ill kill you" we left but later came back then he looked back saw us and screamed"hey!!"then started running up chasing us the hill and we got out of there real quick and he couldnt find us it was fun

There's a dude in Orange that must be an old Marine or something. He's gotta be in his seventies, and for four or five years I drove past him on the way to work every morning. He'd be striding down the street in fatigues. Every once in a while he'd stop marching down Chapman and throw God a salute.

The funny thing is I think I still see him, except now he wears a business suit. There's gotta be some kind of interesting story there.

Silver said:

There's a dude in Orange that must be an old Marine or something. He's gotta be in his seventies, and for four or five years I drove past him on the way to work every morning. He'd be striding down the street in fatigues. Every once in a while he'd stop marching down Chapman and throw God a salute.

The funny thing is I think I still see him, except now he wears a business suit. There's gotta be some kind of interesting story there.

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because we all know bums in camo must=crazy ex-vet.

we have a guy named june-bug and he rides a three wheeler around all over the place and hes got some really messed up feet and we were all wondering what happened to him and there were rumors of him being in a bad break dancing accident back in the day, but it turns out he was hit by a bus, but he always shows up to the skate park and one day he got stuck in the bowl and we had to get him out.

1453 said:

because we all know bums in camo must=crazy ex-vet.

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No no...I'm not even sure he's a bum. He always has a cleanly shaved head, and his boots looked shiny to me. And the dude was marching...if he wasn't a soldier in the past, then he's totally crazy.

jonKranked said:

Rochester has a guy called jesus - another one with just one huge dreadlock and speaks in tongues.

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that guy was awesome. chris and i stair gapped over him once. also saw him stand up and randomly dance around. but mostly staring at his feet and walking "baby steps" for miles.
gotta spend your days doing something

We recently inherited a bipolar from Florida who has been seen in various locations in our very rural neighborhood. He commutes on a Cub Cadet tractor, wears fatigues, doesn't make eye contact.

I found his encampment on conserved land we manage and had the State Police ask him to move on, his tractor moved to an adjacent field and we don't know where he's set up now.

Police said his relatives gave him a one way bus ticket from his hometown in Florida to here.

Our neighborhood is not exactly sleeping easy...

Silver said:

No no...I'm not even sure he's a bum. He always has a cleanly shaved head, and his boots looked shiny to me. And the dude was marching...if he wasn't a soldier in the past, then he's totally crazy.

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huh.

well if that gets him through his day then more power to him. If he looks well groomed and doesn't smell then even better. I would rather have someone like him on Sproul Plaza than some creep guy with fuzzy hair that stares at 17 year-old freshmen jail-bait chicks.

bikenweed said:

There's a famous bum in Isla Vista who goes to all the college parties, pulls out his fake eye, and drinks beer through the socket.

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Um.

Did you know there is no direct connection between your eye socket and your throat?

"the world most angry man" was a homeless guy in Pittsburgh. You could usually find him yelling at people and objects... one time we were skating in Squirrel hill, heard some yelling, stopped and saw him across the screaming and yelling at a mailbox. We watched him for 15 minutes or so pacing back and forth waving his arms, pointing at the mailbox, yelling (some of what he was yelling were words most of it his own fvcked up language). I remember him actually kicking imaginary dirt on it like a angry guy at at baseball game does when that didn't get the results, he just kicked the thing.

I am sure the mailbox understood though! It got a serious ear lashing and got its shin kicked pretty good!

Leon. Leon walks down the street waving around 2 black plasitic garbage bags filled with air. Usually he is in the middle of the street, and cars have to dodge him, why he hasn't been hit, I don't know.

JaJaJa guy. Chinese homeless guy that used to wander around Fort Sanders (the low rent college student district near UT-Knoxville). He'd go in the dumpsters and collect beer cans for recycling. He did a little recycling himself by drinking the left over beer. One time after a party at our apartment, I collected all our cans and then went out and banged on the dumpster he was in to give him the cans. He popped up and said "JAH!" I said "here are some cans for you" and he said "Jah, jah, jah!!!!" Happiest little chinese homeless dude you'd ever meet.

There's a homeless guy in Goleta who's on a mission:
To prevent a meat eater-alien consiparcy by espousing a vegtarian diet. He prints a manifesto, written each week and hands it out to people on the street and local businesses. His writing is a sublime mixture of schizophrenia, science fiction and comedy (unintentional)

homeless = schizophrenic, and/or coke, heroin, and meth. sad.

anyway, i got to see plenty of bums in new york, boston, and here in seattle:

- in new york a bunch of them would set up blue tarps over the grates that covered the subway. hot (or at least warmer than winter) air would rise up, and they'd live in their own bubble.

- in cambridge there was a guy who'd always hang around the 7-11 and talk about his past as a boxer. i wouldn't give him money but would buy him food. apparently he wasn't even homeless, but just rustled up extra cash before going home each day this way?

- in seattle i had a guy come in complaining of lice all over his body. needless to say i donned gloves and a mask. turns out he didn't have anything wrong with him except for formication, the false sense of having bugs crawl over you. (and note it's entirely different from fornication ) crack kills, buddy. whoops.

- i twice treated the largest bum i've seen. 465 lbs, and just from being a big dude -- fat, yes, but not rolly-polly. nice guy, too.

- lots of seattle bums like heroin. once heroin users scar down all their veins they turn to shooting up in their muscles: their deltoids, their butt... one guy even shot up in his tongue. the lovely thing is that you get nasty, festering abscesses in all of these places.

moral of the story: don't be crazy, don't use hard drugs, and don't be a bum.