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Scumbag jerk off asshat... Who voted for this tool sock?

SVPPB

Monkey
May 13, 2007
682
0
I don't think I was meant to be married.
Kids scare the crap out of me.
I've slept with every girl "friend" I've ever had.
I nailed a bride's maid at my batchelor party.

I'm a usless husband
 

SVPPB

Monkey
May 13, 2007
682
0
I don't know anything about alcohol amounts, but a half gallon of Crown seems like a crap-ton to drink at once....

You should just finish it off and then go out and cause a ruckus a la www.tuckermax.com. Though most of his stories make my BS-meter go off, they're still funny....
Fat.
Rugby
Irish/Welsh/Italian/South African
I drink.
A lot.
Grew up in Reno.
I drink
A lot.
Lived in New Orleans.
I drank
A lot.
Moved to Pensacola.
Drank.
A lot.
Back in Reno.
out every night
Drinking
riding
boarding
trying to nail the english chick
its not working
so I drink
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
I nailed a bride's maid at my batchelor party.
ah, keep drinking and typing. It's therapeutic.

You do know that she knows that, right? Even if you think she doesn't, she does, somehow.

And you wonder why she thinks you're betraying her while you're 2000 miles away?

If she's a good woman, settle her nerves, move home and, ya know, grow up?

That's me being helpful.
 

SVPPB

Monkey
May 13, 2007
682
0
She knows.
Saw the photos.
After the bridesmaid sent a stroke by stroke detail.

Yea, she knows.

I have a contract and a good deal here. Waiting to see where Uncle Sam sends her after Flight. Maybe yes, maybe no. Who knows.

Wait, wasn't I ranting about something?
 

wannabeabonedoc

Turbo Monkey
Apr 19, 2004
1,034
1
Wytheville Virginia
She knows.
Saw the photos.
After the bridesmaid sent a stroke by stroke detail.

Yea, she knows.

I have a contract and a good deal here. Waiting to see where Uncle Sam sends her after Flight. Maybe yes, maybe no. Who knows.

Wait, wasn't I ranting about something?
Yeah, it was about why the blue ones taste better.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
She knows.
Saw the photos.
After the bridesmaid sent a stroke by stroke detail.

Yea, she knows.

I have a contract and a good deal here. Waiting to see where Uncle Sam sends her after Flight. Maybe yes, maybe no. Who knows.

Wait, wasn't I ranting about something?
Is the following current...
Back in Reno.
out every night
Drinking
riding
boarding
trying to nail the english chick
its not working
so I drink
Sounds to me like you betrayed her, she gave you a chance, you left, you're trying to betray her again and you're an alcoholic.

Did I sum it up correctly?
 

SVPPB

Monkey
May 13, 2007
682
0
Damn, no love tonight...

English chick: Never going to happen, random fantasy.

Everything else, well, that's quasi accurate.
I'm a bad guy.
She deserves better.
I don't begrudge her getting out while she's young, busty, pretty and smart.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
Damn, no love tonight...

English chick: Never going to happen, random fantasy.

Everything else, well, that's quasi accurate.
I'm a bad guy.
She deserves better.
I don't begrudge her getting out while she's young, busty, pretty and smart.
Any particular reason you're not putting the least amount of effort in trying to grow up? We were all there at one point... I was fockin' a married chick while her cop husband slept in the other room, regularly. We're all assholes at some point, so being a "bad guy" is a weak excuse.

Let me guess, you expect her to leave you at some point anyway, so you might as well beat her to the punch?
 

SVPPB

Monkey
May 13, 2007
682
0
Damn.. Dad, is that you back from the grave?

I know I need to man up.
Grow up.
Maybe in a minute throw up.

That rhymed...


This will all hit me in the morning when the booze isn't holding well.
 

SVPPB

Monkey
May 13, 2007
682
0
What do George Sr. and George W have in common?

Neither of them know how to pull out.
 

manimal

Ociffer Tackleberry
Feb 27, 2002
7,212
17
Blindly running into cactus
aha I was at work watching it, then I saw a chart of bushes disapproval rating over the last 8 years and the constant decline of an horrible leader. I started laughing my ass off and it definitely made my night, this was right as I was having a conversation with one of the hostess's who just signed her papers to go iraq and and enlist.
well john, at least you don't have to sleep with her to know that she's got bigger balls than you :busted:
 

RenegadeRick

98th percentile on my SAT & all I got was this tin
Funk man. I was pickin up a sixer last night at the liqour store and that ass clown was on. I could only stomach a few minutes of that liar until I had to leave. It was so horrible I couldn't keep my mouth shut. When I looked up at the TV I saw Cheney, Bush, and Pelosi and I said, "Motherfunk! If that ain't the axis o funkin' evil right funking there." Then he started spewing some carp about Somalia and human rights and I said "Yeah, but we won't do a dammned thing about it cuz they ain't gots no oils." That got a good response from the crowd. Then he rambled about spreading democracy and I couldn't help but laugh and I had to walk outta there.

Hey and sorry to hear about the funked up alcoholic life and L'Ooopie's sex change. But hey guys take heart. At least you aren't that dinkwad liar. That guy sucks.
 

SVPPB

Monkey
May 13, 2007
682
0
Thoughts...

1. Damn, drank a lot last night.
2. When drinking, I should learn to hide my computer.
3. Bush is the White Devil in a Gray Suit. He's a bad, bad man.
4. This place is getting to be no fun at all.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
Thoughts...

1. Damn, drank a lot last night.
2. When drinking, I should learn to hide my computer.
3. Bush is the White Devil in a Gray Suit. He's a bad, bad man.
4. This place is getting to be no fun at all.
It would be so funny if your wife read your posts :busted:

This thread reminds of that Seinfeld episode where the combination to Elaine's vault is revealed.
Bosco?
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
Yeah,i don't watch CNN .
Seriously, if you ever want an open, honest conversation, let us know.

For example, it's FRUSTRATING that you completely ignore how much the war in Iraq is costing America in so many ways -- actual dollars, human lives, and more.

You're so blind and dedicated to what's only important to you that you fail to see where today's decisions will lead this country in 10, 20 years.

Being selfish is fine, just see how it affects you beyond today.
 

ire

Turbo Monkey
Aug 6, 2007
6,196
4
Seriously, if you ever want an open, honest conversation, let us know.

For example, it's FRUSTRATING that you completely ignore how much the war in Iraq is costing America in so many ways -- actual dollars, human lives, and more.

You're so blind and dedicated to what's only important to you that you fail to see where today's decisions will lead this country in 10, 20 years.

Being selfish is fine, just see how it affects you beyond today.
Foresight? Pfffft, who needs that? Live like there is no tomorrow, and we'll ensure there won't be!
 

ire

Turbo Monkey
Aug 6, 2007
6,196
4
I'm not selfish,you got it backwards. I don't care about the economy & what i can mooch off the government nearly as much as freedom & being safe from terrorist attacks. If these bastards hit us hard;it will probably cost more than the whole war to fix whatever they did.
I'm pretty sure the liberal media has convinced 60% of Americans the Republicans have some sort of hidden aganda.Like they are stealing oil & selling it on the secret market.lol

On the flip side. Maybe-maybe not there is a secret aganda?Who really knows for sure. I don't have top secret info.Do you? Maybe the CIA is lying to everyone.

All i know is i'm definately not a friggin liberal,but i'm not a hater either. Sure,i can go to San Fransisco & visit without getting into an argument.But i won't live among that crowd.

I'm going to go see Rambo now.
Later....
You know the one feasible way the terrorists can win? Bankrupting our government. We'll go into any country where someone holds up a sign saying Al-Qaeda , even if they aren't affiliated. Blindly chasing these fools is going to way more damage to this country than a terror attack could