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The "Who the Hell Are You?" Thread

bdamschen

Turbo Monkey
Nov 28, 2005
3,377
156
Spreckels, CA
My name is Brian
I have a creative user name that invovles my first intital and my last name
I usually only post on ridemonkey when I'm bored at work or can't figure out how to fix my bike.
I hardly ever post in the lounge because it's scary
I like beer and browsing the web on the toilet, sometimes at the same time.
I would have put more money into my bikes, but I have offroading as a second money pit.
I have been an accomplice to hitting an annoying girl in the face with a bag of flour using a three man water balloon launcher.
I have also dropped in to a monterey tide pool on my mountain board drunk, and now never ride it.
I have traveled on a couch behind a pickup truck at 60 mph on public roads, you will never get me to do that again. ever.

I have video to back up all of my claims..... except for the flour bag incident. That had to be destroyed when the cops showed up.
 

Jettj45

Monkey
Oct 20, 2005
670
3
Butthole of NC
-My name is Justin I'm 22.
-I am a flight instructor and finishing up my BA degree in Information Science which I will never use.
-I'll be a corporate airline pilot after college is done.
-I love downhill racing and meeting random interesting people at races.
-I like to drink hard liquor and PBR.
-I have been off a 20ft waterfall whitewater kayaking, it was sweet.
-I am currently putting together a new race bike for 2008, a 08 Judge and love it.
-I encourage everyone to be a pilot, you can only work 100 hours a month and max. 1000 hours a year. Talk about a lot of free time for biking and a free pass to travel anywhere.
-I have never broken a bone, only tore my acl.
-I have ambition to race pro.
-One of my good highschool friends is on our 2008 cycling team for the Olympics, it is amazing.
-I just flat out enjoy having fun and don't get mad over anything...
 

Carbon Fetish

Monkey
May 6, 2002
619
0
Irvine, CA
I'm Carbon Fetish.

I was born in San Diego and now live and work in Orange County.

I am 25 and will be a year older next month.

I work in the "action sports" industry.

I like to shoot photography and work on bikes.

I "ride" a Turner Nitrous, Litespeed Ghisallo, Giant Reign, Sycip Crossdresser, Ironhorse Porter, and Soul Cycles Hooligan.

I need to sell three bikes and three frames that are not on the list above.

I assemble all of my own bikes.

I have 5 different beers in my mini frig at work.

I wear sunglasses, a lot of sunglasses.

I have only broken a rib while crashing on my snowboard.
 

TN

Hey baby, want a hot dog?
Jul 9, 2002
14,301
1,353
Jimtown, CO
I am the walrus.

Just turned 30....still feel 17.

I like skate style xc skiing more than riding my bike.

I am a graphic artist/animator for two TV stations (one being the #1 MyNetowrk in the US).

I wear nipple clamps 24/7.

I love amateur porn.

I love gardening.

I am going to learn to sail this summer with hopes of living on a sailboat one day.

I believe in voluntary simplicity.

I hate TV.

I shave my junk.

Beer gives me gas.

I love wine.

I play the drums as well, but just for fun.....alone.

My Cherokee heritage is often over shadowed by Scotch-Irishness & German-Jew heritage.

I suffer like an apache.

I have crohn's.

I can't wrench a bike for $hit.

I just moved to Milwaukee & love it.

I used to do lots of psychedelics.

I hate my cat & love my dog.

I dont wear deodorant & never will.

I am looking forward to being a DINK.

I am married to Laura.

I am done cutting my hair.

I am believe in anti-consumerism.

I get along better with 50 year olds than people my age.

I could talk about myself for days.
 

TN

Hey baby, want a hot dog?
Jul 9, 2002
14,301
1,353
Jimtown, CO
I can't remember if I posted in this thread already but don't give a $hit enough to check.
 

CBJ

year old fart
Mar 19, 2002
12,874
4,214
Copenhagen, Denmark
Born in Denmark in 1972 but lived for 7 years all together in the US
Still no green card and still Euro(trash)
MBA in Strategic Management
Sperm Bank Manager
Wife and son
Mostly ride DH
Strictly enforce casual everyday at the office as I don't like to wear business attire
Love New York City
Live in Brooklyn
Hate winter love summer

Future plans: Expand the business as much as possible, more kids and buy a town house ASAP
 

MOBEONER

Chimp
Apr 17, 2011
29
0
WILLIAMSBURG BROOKLYN
THREAD REVIVE :weee:





Jason

Born in Vineland,New Jersey

Moved to Puerto Rico when i was 5

Moved to New York City when i was 9

I was a Pro Inline Skater from the age 12 to 16


Stop skating because i found this wonderfull thing called VIGINA and POT.

Became a problem child when i was 16 to 18- local Officers knew me well.

Cleaned up my act when i was 18 started doing well at work. Got married

and from the age of 19 to now 28 i can`t rememeber a god damn thing exept WORK WORK WORK WORK PAY BILLS PAY BILLS PAY BILLS...

My current hobbies are:
Race car - 1993 mazda Rx7 400HP <~~~ money pit..
Mountain bike - 2002 trek liquid 10 <~~ beater untill i get better at riding and buy a real bike..
 

marpilli

Chimp
Jul 29, 2011
93
3
Dallas, TX
marpilli

Born in the midwest, traveled around the US for work and settled in the Dallas, TX area.

First started riding back in 2000 (1999 GF Joshua F4) and took a short hiatus while we had young kids. Back riding again in 2010. Built-up multiple bikes, rebuilt forks, built bike lights, and I enjoy all sorts of DIY work.

Current bikes: 2005 GT Aggressor, 1994 GT Karakoram (singlespeed), 1992 Giant Yukon

In addition to riding I enjoy running. Completed my (official) first full marathon in December 2012. Now I'm working on getting my 10k time down below 50 minutes. I also enjoy the "mud run" type events and have done several in the area.

Most of my weekend time is spent with family related activities. My two youngest kids (boys) are very interested in MTB and I get them out on the local trails whenever we can squeeze out the time. My oldest (daughter) couldn't care less about bicycles. ;)
 

Trail Ninja

Monkey
Jan 4, 2013
109
2
Vancouver Island
Sure. I'll bite.

I'm 55 years old. I've been riding "mountain bikes" (purpose built, off-road bicycles) since about 1960. I've been building singletrack trails for bicycles since shortly after that. I have been a professional cyclist but never raced. As a volunteer I've taught more than 400 kids how to ride mountain bikes and to build, respect and maintain trails.

I live in Canada mostly in British Columbia. I've done the rat race thing, raised a family, bought a house, had a job, drove a mini-van. I don't do that anymore. I'm not "retired". I just don't play the game anymore.

I spend most of my time building trails. I spend a little bit of time hunting and gathering. I don't own anything except a bike and a few tools. I have no commitments and no worries.

I love my life!
 

stoney

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde
Jul 26, 2006
21,601
7,247
Colorado
Resurrect be damned, I'll play along for the new guys.

I'm Mark. Also known we stoney98 and the joker. 32, married to Wifey and have a 7 month old named Haley.
I used to race DH really fast, then lost a few wars with the ground, forcing me to quit. I'm epileptic as of 2.5 years ago, which my neurologist thinks stems from my racing.

I went to Cal, and am nowhere near as smart as Toshi. I'm the finance monkey and have been working at the institutional level for 10 years. I was a trader at an investment bank, sold financial software, research sales at a different investment bank, and recently moved to retail financial advising at the same bank.

I'm from SoCal, spent 12 years in Berkeley/SF, and just moved to Denver.

I'm still an asshole.
 
Jan 15, 2013
93
0
I am a constantly trying to perfect my Assholery.

I am Christopher.

Will have been married for 18 years this year. Have 2 great kids. Girl 11, Boy 8.

My daughter is one of the best bikers I know and has the heart of a killer. At age 6 finished her first beginner mt bike race and finished 16 out of 18 in the boys field which was 10-15 years old.

2 years ago we did a Duathlon 10 mile run with a 15 mt bike. She did the run I the bike and we finished 5th out of 150 teams. Never been so proud, she was first after the first mile of the run but slipped back. I did not know she could even finish it. But there is no quit and she will not accept losing.

My Son is the kid I always wanted to be. He is best player on just about every team he plays on, but has no ego of any kind. And is the most giving person I know. Have to be careful on what you buy him because he always gives it away to someone that he feels needs it more then him.

My wife is fantastic and I cherish her more now then ever before. She is my best friend. She has to have surgery to have some cancer removed on Feb 5th. Hope it goes very well. She does not smoke and never even has had one drink her whole life.

About me, well I love bikes to a fault. I currently work in a Bike Shop, my 4th one in the last 15 years. I had my own shop for 4 years but it went under and we had to file for bankruptcy. My wife never complained about it. I lost everything in trying to save it. We own almost nothing now, but we got to keep our house as long as we make payments to the courts for the next 5 years.

I race CAT 1 and won 7 straight races this past summer. I also won the VA state series for SS. I ride everyday and hate road riding and do not even own a road bike.

Started riding in the late 70's, BMX'd in 80's and have been MTBing ever since.

Last thing, I HATE LIARS or deceivers. just gets under my skin and I will call you out on it every time. Proving point number 1 at the top.
 

ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
6,147
796
Lima, Peru, Peru
my name is Pedro (Alexis is my middle name).

i have a habit of riding my bike in way-too dangerous, yet awesome, places in the andes... am currently nursing a broken collarbone (surprisingly, my first broken bone from mtb), and although, at any given point, around 20% of my mtb friends are in a cast, or have screws coming out of their skin; and the fact i have seen one of them end up in coma for a few weeks... i still long to ride my bike in the andes again.

am married to a wonderful woman who, somehow, puts up with me... and have just turned 30, two days ago.

i also enjoy long walks on the beach, chopin and sodomy.
 
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Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
54,408
20,200
Sleazattle
I am a constantly trying to perfect my Assholery.

I am Christopher.

Will have been married for 18 years this year. Have 2 great kids. Girl 11, Boy 8.

My daughter is one of the best bikers I know and has the heart of a killer. At age 6 finished her first beginner mt bike race and finished 16 out of 18 in the boys field which was 10-15 years old.

2 years ago we did a Duathlon 10 mile run with a 15 mt bike. She did the run I the bike and we finished 5th out of 150 teams. Never been so proud, she was first after the first mile of the run but slipped back. I did not know she could even finish it. But there is no quit and she will not accept losing.

My Son is the kid I always wanted to be. He is best player on just about every team he plays on, but has no ego of any kind. And is the most giving person I know. Have to be careful on what you buy him because he always gives it away to someone that he feels needs it more then him.

My wife is fantastic and I cherish her more now then ever before. She is my best friend. She has to have surgery to have some cancer removed on Feb 5th. Hope it goes very well. She does not smoke and never even has had one drink her whole life.

About me, well I love bikes to a fault. I currently work in a Bike Shop, my 4th one in the last 15 years. I had my own shop for 4 years but it went under and we had to file for bankruptcy. My wife never complained about it. I lost everything in trying to save it. We own almost nothing now, but we got to keep our house as long as we make payments to the courts for the next 5 years.

I race CAT 1 and won 7 straight races this past summer. I also won the VA state series for SS. I ride everyday and hate road riding and do not even own a road bike.

Started riding in the late 70's, BMX'd in 80's and have been MTBing ever since.

Last thing, I HATE LIARS or deceivers. just gets under my skin and I will call you out on it every time. Proving point number 1 at the top.

Best of luck with the wife's surgury.
 

skibunny24

Enthusiastic Receiver of Reputation
Jun 16, 2010
3,281
585
Renton, WA
I'll play!

My name is Claire Marie :wave:

I love skiing, rock climbing, biking, sea kayaing, hiking, surfing, and pretty much anything else that involves being outside. I don't do any of these things as much as I would like since having a kiddo, but he's old enough now that I'm starting to do all of them more--with him!

I am married to BUFFALO. He rocks my world. I don't know how he puts up with me, but I'm sure glad he does!!

We have one human child, two furry children (doggies: Ernie & Kona), and I love them all to bits and pieces.

Kona was lost for 15 days and found in a dog park with her front leg broken in half. A couple surgeries later she's good as new and grateful to be home.

Kona and I used to live in a tent in the snow so I could get first chair every day until I got knocked up by a fellow ski instructor (hey, sometimes you gotta get off the mountain for a real shower!). He left me when I was 3 months pregnant, and while I tried to make it work, it didn't, and quite frankly I'm glad because as I mentioned earlier, my hubby rocks. We are currently working on the adoption process so we don't have that fear lingering of douchebaggery ever having the legal option of effing things up for us.

I have a desk job.

I hate desk jobs.

I am looking for another job, but the sad part is, if I find it, I probably won't get to hang out here as much as I do, and that would be a real shame because I love you all like my brothers and sisters! And HEY there were a LOT more girls here in 2006, wtf?

kthxbai
 

kazlx

Patches O'Houlihan
Aug 7, 2006
6,985
1,957
Tustin, CA
Formally.

I'm Joe. I'm 31. Been married now for going on two years and just knocked up my wife. I think she was 13 weeks yesterday. I always have to convert into months for it to make any sense. Still not sinking in yet. Waiting to find out if it's a boy or a girl.

I enjoy biking, but I have the attention span of a hummingbird when it comes to hobbies and projects. My main projects usually involve building things. I'm working on a storage shed in the backyard right now to make room in my tiny garage. My shed has baseboards because I'm odd like that. I really also enjoy metal fab, welding and machining have a mill, lathe and surface grinder in my garage. I would really like to be into more car or truck racing, but don't have the time or $$. I really, really want to build a bike frame in the near future. I figure I'll start with a hard tail.

I just enjoy outdoor stuff in general, jack of all trades, master of none. I'm usually decent at whatever I do, but lose interest before I put in the time to get really good.

I hate working for the man and want to start some sort of business, but not sure what. Sounds lame, but whatever. My wife is the complete opposite and just wants a nice job she can go to every day. I have to buy stocks and investments without her really knowing because she freaks out at anything other than a savings account. I think the part that scares me is like Spinning Lizard, losing a whole lot. Of course, any venture is a gamble and while my wife loves me, I think she would kill me.

I've met a lot of good people through bikes and through this site. People think I'm crazy for meeting up with people I've never talked to other than over the boards, but I think that's how I met 90% of all the dudes I ride with. I still remember my Mammoth road trip with Mandown.
 
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ICEBALL585

Bacontard
Sep 8, 2009
6,805
2,045
.:585:.
Meh... I'll play along as well.

My name is Mike. I'm 32 and born/raised/currently live in Rochester NY.

I've been skiing since I was very little, got my first season pass when I was 3 yrs old. Did a lot of ski racing when I was young since my dad was the race coach at our local ski hill. But then got more into skiing out of bounds and going off of jumps so I stopped racing. Rode a decent amount of bmx and mtn bike when I was younger but didn't seriously get back into mtn biking until 2008.

High school and college are pretty much a blur. Spent most of my time skiing, skating, playing in a couple punk bands, and partying way too hard. Had many random part time jobs over the years including ski instructing, working on my dad's farm, bowling alley, clothing shop at the mall, and fast food restaurant (just to name a few).

I have done a decent amount of traveling in my life. Been on many road trips with my buddies and with my wife. Last I counted I've been to 29 out of the 50 states including Hawaii. I've also been to a few providences in Canada and I have skied in Germany, Austria, and Italy.

A lot of my friends are beer nerds and a few of us got into brewing some years back. Our little brewing group have won several awards for our beers including several 1st places in specific categories and a 3rd in best of show.

A few years back I decided it was time to grow up a little so I married my long time girlfriend, bought a house, and we had our son this past summer. To be honest I never pictured myself as a family man since my parents have been divorced my entire life (both are still around and totally cool). It's funny how life doesn't usually turn out how you pictured it when younger.

So, now a days my free time is spent with hanging my family/friends, skiing, mountain biking, sailboat racing, and anything else my friends can talk me into that sounds fun.

Gotta say life is pretty good right now :)
 
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jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,155
13,324
Portland, OR
I'm jimmydean,

I have been off and on RM for quite a while now. I ride when I can, but it's only one of many hobbies I have.

I am a Software Quality Assurance Engineer and have been for about 10 years. I might start my own custom chop shop some day because I am sick of working for the man.

I am also a husband and father and my wife just returned to work starting today (yeah, more than one income!)

I love to work on cars/trucks/things that go. I love the PNW and may never move from here.

I am a Linux geek who loves old style punk and enjoy hardcore rap from time to time.

I am a military vet and love my country, but I also hug trees.

<edit> I just turned 35 :(
Damn...

Divorced, still a dad, 41 :(

<edit> I moved to Medford for a job in Ashland for a year ('09) and missed Portland too much, so I moved back.
 
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Burnt-Orange

Monkey
Jan 5, 2013
153
0
hi im Joe 39
I have dyslexia a little O.C.D and A.D.D other than that I am just a complete social mess
I tried to take meds for the A.D.D. but than I lost control of the O.C.D and weight
I just gave up on the box I was told to fit in
while I don't excel in the written word I am extremely mechanically inclined
I can run a mill,lathe,blacksmith, wood work......
I have a wife and 2 kids a boy who is 8 and girl who is 3
I am an ex squid
I work for the man
I mostly ride trail because that is the best we can do here
I did get to go to Frutia and Moab a couple of times :thumb:
I ride a 29er but would feel much cooler riding a Yeti 66sb in the mountains
 

Flyin_W

Chimp
Jan 4, 2013
53
0
Hi, I'll play too.
Arrived here on the short bus with the other empty beer convicts.*
Flyin_W is not for being fast, but for providing 6'2" of pure OTB entertainment.
29ers were made for me - big, tall with a long torso.
True passion is skiing - Alpine, tele, H20, then MTB, paddling, hiking & rarely golf.
Now living just outside DC for work as a NGO contractor (mkt dev).
Business degree in NH, post grad work in UT, where I first rode MTB.
Resided in 9 states, spent time in 44, not been abroad, yet been to both Poles.
Was married for 12 years, no kids, 2 houses, and too little free time.
Now single, and caretaking a friend's house & their two dogs.
Not missing the cold winters, and love the year-round riding, mostly on a rigid SS.
Area trails are fast rolling s/t, and VA/WV has some of the most remote mtn. regions in the lower 48.
Always exploring, am really enjoying RM's vibe, and already can tell it's loaded with good peeps.

* Also a specialist in azzholiness with a focused BS detector, when it sounds, I call it.
 
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DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
I cannot believe I never posted in this thread......

DirtyMike

AkA..... Dustin

Generally I can be a real asshole, I try to be a nice guy, plans are in the works for me to get the hell out of socal, Should be out of here during the summer sometime.... I was married for twelve years and currently divorced, no kids, health is an issue but getting it wrangled into shape more and more..... down about 180 pounds as of the last few years, about 100 of that was not lost the right way, in fact it was due to health issues.

I am an assistant manager for a large chain of automotive repair chain here in the IE of Socal, working on securing work In Montana were I will be landing soon

No kids thank goodness, that would be just one more disaster to have with the crazy ex wife...... Ride Mainly DH, do stupid ****, shoot guns, absolute adrenaline junky, Red met eating red blooded American.

For me I like being outside.. Riding, Hiking, camping, Fishing, anything..... If its outdoors I will give it a go...
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,440
1,965
Front Range, dude...
Names John (Although some call me JohnE)
39 going on 7
Married, 3 kids and Siberian Husky
In the USAF, going on 12 years, plan on staying til they pay me to go away, or I figure out what I really want to be when I grow up.
Have worked as a personal trainer (Have degree in Exercise Science), bike wrench, bus driver (got fired!) fry cook and wood butcher (Carpenters apprentice) and a bunch of other junk that my therapist is helping me get over...
Bike are a Kona Unit (Most fun in ever!) a Jamis Dragon (Steel is real!) and a Trek 8000 (Currently for sale...). Have been a roadie, but got better.
XC and AC inspired pedaling is about it for me. I love to climb (On the bike) and then follow Partsbara down the hill. Also play a bit of hockey and lift a weight here and there.
Dig music, mostly classic rock (The Who. Nuff said.) some old school punk (The Clash.) and some hellbilly-ish whacked out un-categorizeable stuff (Horton Heat, Social D, Webb Wilder, Brian Setzer, Dropkick Murphys). Dad was a Opera signer, trained in Italy who sang proffesionally most of his life. I cant carry a tune in a bucket.
Currently living 90 miles north of LA, in the desert. Yee hah...
I think I am funny
How things have changed...
- 1 kid out the door
- Added a dog (Against my will! Not really...) Husky has passed away (Thanks to all for the sympathies...)
- Still have the Trek but wife rides it
- Sold the Jamis, replaced with a Moots, a road bike (Which is dusty...) and a FS Rocky Mountain Altitude 70
- Escaped Cali and returned to Germany
- Havent seen Partsy in 2 years...but I know he is out there, like Chuck Norris, he waits...

Still trying to figure out what I want to be when/if I grow up...