The Really Stupid Office Related Thread
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I work with a bunch of news people (newspaper and TV) and they are the nastiest ****ers you ever saw.
• Drop a 44 oz soda on the new carpet? Just throw the cup away and the carpet pad will magically soak up the soda.
• Hungry? Put that box of leftover crab legs in the microwave and make the whole office smell like a fisherman's taint for two days.
• Restroom break? Every day, take a MONSTER dump and drop 30 pounds of paper on it to completely clog up the toilet.
• Food storage? Bring in rank smelling foods and let them decay in the fridge. The fridge should smell like a crypt at all times.
They moved them all to a separate building a few months ago. I am one happy guy.
• Drop a 44 oz soda on the new carpet? Just throw the cup away and the carpet pad will magically soak up the soda.
• Hungry? Put that box of leftover crab legs in the microwave and make the whole office smell like a fisherman's taint for two days.
• Restroom break? Every day, take a MONSTER dump and drop 30 pounds of paper on it to completely clog up the toilet.
• Food storage? Bring in rank smelling foods and let them decay in the fridge. The fridge should smell like a crypt at all times.
They moved them all to a separate building a few months ago. I am one happy guy.
**** that, that **** is a public health hazard. I give it two days before it's in the trash. NO MERCY!
They just started tossing everything on Sundays here (used to be once a month). Sort of pissed me off because I used to bring in some frozen stuff that I might not eat, but I would rather the fridge be clean.
Some people here bring in some awful food they nuke, then everything smells like it and the kitchen area stinks for the rest of the day.
When I bring in something that I predict will be particularly rank, I take it to the lounge to heat up. It's on the other end of the building and i never have to go there if I don't want to. People hate me.
Office perv
Old fat dude who constantly makes passes at the high school filer clerks, and or young paralegals. Then talks to me during breaks about how those girls could totally be his. (btw Drives a corvette, always has a cheesy shirt and cologne from hell) I have to remind him that most of the girls he is flirting with are 16.
Office Ho.
has three kids at 22 and has found her way to banging every partner to summer attorney except the office perv.
Old fat dude who constantly makes passes at the high school filer clerks, and or young paralegals. Then talks to me during breaks about how those girls could totally be his. (btw Drives a corvette, always has a cheesy shirt and cologne from hell) I have to remind him that most of the girls he is flirting with are 16.
Office Ho.
has three kids at 22 and has found her way to banging every partner to summer attorney except the office perv.
The laugher: This guy lets out a hearty chortle after everything he says. It doesn't matter if it wasn't even intended to be funny, and it never is. Hahahahahah!
Yeah me too, I clear that **** out from time to time. We also toss peoples Tupperware if it spends too much time in the sink.
"Where is my lunch container?"
"It may still be in the dumpster."
Strange how my office seems more and more normal as I read this.
The power likes to go out once a month. The office park I work at has two buildings on the same grid, one houses a shop filled with Arc welders & other heavy electric machinery.
So evry one is on a battery back up. Some poeple, however, find it upon themselves to un plug their computers from the battery to plug some personal accessory in.
Why? "because the cord for (blank) wouldn't reach the other plug.
So evry one is on a battery back up. Some poeple, however, find it upon themselves to un plug their computers from the battery to plug some personal accessory in.
Why? "because the cord for (blank) wouldn't reach the other plug.
I had to read this 3 times before I realized you were talking about hearing aids and not a different strain of aids that only affects the ears.
My favorite things are binned projects. I make all the design changes, then change them all again when when someone wants something else, repeat, repeat, repeat, put a PO together for proto parts, hassle the poor bastards at the machine shop endlessly 'cause someone wants the parts a week earlier than would normally be reasonable, receive said parts 1 week early, sit on them for 2 weeks till someone figures out what to do with them, scrap project because we've decided to go a different direction, organize and shelve a few grand worth of useless aluminum bits, complain about it on a bike forum. Good times.
If your work is as confusing as this post than I feel for you!
Haha ****tards... my office has a DOOR!!!
Yeah, yeah... I rock.
Yeah, yeah... I rock.
Aside from all the clear violations of well-known dumping etiquette, there is someone in my office who likes to remove the low flow nozzles from the sinks in the men's room. It's been happening for months and I am now trained to turn the water on cautiously, but at least once a week I see someone expecting low flow get water splashed all over their pants.
If I can stink up the kitchen with my lunch, I feel I have accomplished something & walk out of the break roomwith my head up high & an olfactory assault in my wake. 
Today: The chicks I have lunch with, were talking about wet dreams.
At my previous job they said there was no money for X-mas bonus so some ppl put out a Jar and Candy bars with a note saying plz buy candy 4 our x-mas bonus. I left shortly there after.
At the same job I had a boss that would sleep for 1-2 hours after lunch and he never got fired, even after messing up one of the largest accounts our firm had. After that they let him work from home half the time WTF is up with management?
At the same job I had a boss that would sleep for 1-2 hours after lunch and he never got fired, even after messing up one of the largest accounts our firm had. After that they let him work from home half the time WTF is up with management?
Ummmmmm yeah, Peter......I'm going to have to ask that you please see post #35, Thaaaaaaannnnks!
That sounds like a really terrible experience. I hope you are doing okay.
Every phuggin day our kitchenette smells like kimchee.
No joke.
Straight from some Vietnamese town. Boo-yah!!!
Though I like just about every culinary smell...daily kimchee is beginning to be a little much for a non-native of Vietnam.
I don't know who's it is...but I'm almost positive someone here is plotting a diabolical scheme to thwart this in the future...
I really don't know why they wouldn't use the main lunchroom that's away from a majority of the office....but I guess I just think too much sometimes...plus all that elevator button pushing is just too strenuous...
Kimshee is Korean, that fact certainly doesn't make it smell any better.
My boss is like 65 and he's a totally chill boss. Friday is usually casual Friday and we'll usually wear jeans and not shave. Well my boss did that but he forgot he had a really important meeting on a Friday a few weeks ago. Well he ran to the local store and grabbed some razors and started shaving in our only bathroom shirtless. Then all of a sudden he gets a phone call and he has to run across the office without a shirt to grab the phone call and proceeded to talk on the phone shirtless.
thats one thing i really like about the place i work at...jeans every day and if you don't shave no one cares
I too am a drafter or at least I was when I started at my current job. I shave everyday but I also wear jeans everyday and tuck my shirt in. Many times I need to meet with Clients so I figure as long as i'm 1/2 dressed up they should be happy.
Kimchi smells bad? What americans refer to as Kimshee is generally chinese cabbage with chili peppers, soy sauce, and chopped scallions. All things I enjoy the smell of. I make a cucumber, ginger, and pickled green bean kimchi that is simply awesome.
Could you PM me the recipe, please?
Real Kimchi isn't pickled as much as it is fermented in buried in clay pots. And yes real kimchi smells pretty bad to me.
Yeah that fermented fish head and oyster stuff is nasty I'm sure. But Kimchi is many different things depending on the season/region/availability. Here in the northeast and southern ontario Kimchi tends to be all the appetizers you are served at the Korean BBQ joints.
T-shirt, Shorts & Sandals every day in the summer.
I even went to a meeting with the NYSDEC at their regional headquarters dressed like that
I don't work in an office, but I just heard this one today.
I've only worked at my job for about 6 months.
Around quiting time today, the facilities maintenance guy walks up to a group of us and says, "The Mad $hitters back."
I respond with confusion and everyone proceeds to explain.
Apparently someone within the company of close to 400 refuses to **** in the toilet, so instead they use the trash can. Facilities removed the cans from the restrooms, and now somebody it taking the can into the bathroom with them, and ****ting in them.
Craziness.
I've only worked at my job for about 6 months.
Around quiting time today, the facilities maintenance guy walks up to a group of us and says, "The Mad $hitters back."
I respond with confusion and everyone proceeds to explain.
Apparently someone within the company of close to 400 refuses to **** in the toilet, so instead they use the trash can. Facilities removed the cans from the restrooms, and now somebody it taking the can into the bathroom with them, and ****ting in them.
Craziness.
LOL. I worked a temp job kinda between jobs at a toolbox factory one summer and they had a guy there crapped that his pants a couple of times then went to the head and proceeded to fling his full drawers all over the walls. Beyond craziness.
How the f**k are these people not institutionalized?
Also, how is it that nobody else is in the restroom when dude is dropping a deuce in a trashcan? I share a restroom with about a dozen people on our floor and there are always people coming and going. Wtf mate?
Also, how is it that nobody else is in the restroom when dude is dropping a deuce in a trashcan? I share a restroom with about a dozen people on our floor and there are always people coming and going. Wtf mate?
"Question: which bear is best?"
"Well, there's two schools of thought on..."
"False. Black bears. Fact: Bears... eat... beets. Bears... Beets... Battlestar Gallactica."
"What is going on here? Identity theft is not a joke Jim. Millions of families suffer every year."
"Well, there's two schools of thought on..."
"False. Black bears. Fact: Bears... eat... beets. Bears... Beets... Battlestar Gallactica."
"What is going on here? Identity theft is not a joke Jim. Millions of families suffer every year."
Doh...you be right...I was thinking of another dish (can't remember the name...but it's prolly also fermented...) that smelled almost as putrid when I was in 'Nam a few years ago.
Is it those rank ass fermented soy beans? Looks like Beanz N Slime?
Oh man, that has to be one of the worst foods I have ever tried.
