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Today's Episode: Oh Internets. Or, Dear lord they let anyone on here these days

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,964
24,519
media blackout
So I was doing a little google to find some images to post in PSP's latest job debacle thread. But what I stumbled upon is of much greater significance, and I felt deserved its own thread.

There has long been many an insult tossed around regarding a very special kind of toolbox known as the "guido". Here in New Jersey, there seems to be an abnormally high population of them. I suspect that this state is their spawning grounds. So in my search to post images about other morons from NJ, I used a web tool known as "Google". Trying to keep it short and sweet, I queried the phrase "NJ guido". I was expecting the results to turn up mostly message board threads throwing the terms around loosely as insults. Oh how naive was I! Instead of reading more inane ramblings, I stumbled across the motherload. What I found appears to be the digital home for fake tanned popped collars. But alas, this isn't some joke. It appears to be e-terrority of these creatures, revelling in their guidoness! Not only that, the website appears as if it was created by someone with the same level of web design skill as a guido has proper fashion sense. Without further ado, I present you, my fellow monkeys...


www.njguido.com












seriously folks, I can't make this sh*te up




edit: possibly NSFW, not necessarily due to content, but because I wouldn't want any of my co-workers to catch me actually looking at this garbage
 

syadasti

i heart mac
Apr 15, 2002
12,690
290
VT
Guidos are the chief export from the metro NYC area - NYC pollutes our waters and our population. Their accent is not a NJ accent either. Someone call the EPA:disgust1:
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
40,594
9,607
uhhh....

how could you have missed this.....







 
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Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,839
15
So Cal
Guidos are the chief export from the metro NYC area - NYC pollutes our waters and our population. Their accent is not a NJ accent either. Someone call the EPA:disgust1:
meh... ny, nj... to us West coast folks y'all look alike. (Sound alike too)
 

IH8Rice

I'm Mr. Negative! I Fail!
Aug 2, 2008
24,524
494
Im over here now
NJ clubs arent as bad as NYC clubs...the per capita of Affliction shirts is much higher in NYC than here in Dirt Jerz.


i still want to shank most people in the places i go to though.
 
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valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,843
114
Japan
Some of those blokes in SteveW's post seem to have smeared pooh all over themselves. I'm not judging them though, whatever's your thing and all that.
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,839
15
So Cal
We say the same thing about you.


And I hope LA falls into the ocean. What a cesspool :disgust1:

Remember, the website is called NJguido, not LAguido. Those are your people there, bud.





P.S. Don't get your panties in a wad, princess. I was just kiddin'.
 

jerseydirt

Turbo Monkey
May 6, 2007
1,936
0
dirty jerz
They look awful, their fake tans are so ridiculous I feel bad. Especially that jacked guy that has the blonde hair. Smile in a picture dammit! You look like an a$$.
 

dump

Turbo Monkey
Oct 12, 2001
8,223
4,474
I hope that's some product they've rubbed on their faces & not burt/damaged skin.
 

KavuRider

Turbo Monkey
Jan 30, 2006
2,565
4
CT
Man, I try to be open minded in how people live their lives - but man...looking at those guys...I just keep telling myself that it HAS to be a joke.

Seriously...who could go out in public like that and say "yeah, I'm so cool".

Dude...
 

demo 9

Turbo Monkey
Jan 31, 2007
5,910
46
north jersey
it must be bad considering they dont look that "out of place" to me, although i live in this dump so i guess that just makes me stereotypical
 

IH8Rice

I'm Mr. Negative! I Fail!
Aug 2, 2008
24,524
494
Im over here now
Seriously...who could go out in public like that and say "yeah, I'm so cool".

Dude...
and they actually do go around saying that...them and their jager bomb drinking, affliction shirt wearing, D&G wearing, greased up, wanna be, dago friends.

thankfully, most of these growing up gotti wanna-be's from nj all head into the city on weekends
 

KavuRider

Turbo Monkey
Jan 30, 2006
2,565
4
CT
and they actually do go around saying that...them and their jager bomb drinking, affliction shirt wearing, D&G wearing, greased up, wanna be, dago friends.

thankfully, most of these growing up gotti wanna-be's from nj all head into the city on weekends
Really?
I grew up in VT, they never head North apparently. I'm in AZ now, I've been to most of the clubs out here and I can't recall seeing anything THAT bad.

We have our fair share of metrosexuals out here though. Scary...

But...really? They really do that? I'm just in awe I guess...
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,197
13,340
Portland, OR
Really?
I grew up in VT, they never head North apparently. I'm in AZ now, I've been to most of the clubs out here and I can't recall seeing anything THAT bad.

We have our fair share of metrosexuals out here though. Scary...

But...really? They really do that? I'm just in awe I guess...
One of the 3 dudes (I think it was freckles) in front of the Christmas tree used to have a myspace page FULL of pictures of himself and other guidos in various awesomeness.
 

IH8Rice

I'm Mr. Negative! I Fail!
Aug 2, 2008
24,524
494
Im over here now
Really?
I grew up in VT, they never head North apparently. I'm in AZ now, I've been to most of the clubs out here and I can't recall seeing anything THAT bad.

We have our fair share of metrosexuals out here though. Scary...

But...really? They really do that? I'm just in awe I guess...
yes, they do that...its something that i couldnt even make up if i tried.
the farthest north they head is Manhattan.

the people are unreal and make me sick. i want to punch them, but like i said, theres usually like 10 of them together...all juiced up and drunk on over-priced bottle service.
 

Kanye West

220# bag of hacktastic
Aug 31, 2006
3,741
473
Every time I think of what a sprawling piece of crap LA is....I just remind myself of what sort of flamboyant douchebaggery the east coast has produced, then I'm OK again.
 

hooples3

Fuggetaboutit!
Mar 14, 2005
5,245
0
Brooklyn
Akk yes Deko ...I cant say much for the tools that go there.. but some of the girls there especially in the summer time.. are amazing....
 

Ithnu

Monkey
Jul 16, 2007
961
0
Denver
Man, I just sent a link to this post to a friend and work. I asked him the same thing, are these guys serious? He went to college on the east coast and he assured me these guys do exist. He said "they really invade your personal space, even if you're not talking to them."