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How to deal w/ a barking dog...

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,430
1,949
Front Range, dude...
Sooo...neighbors dog barks all night- ALL F-ING NIGHT. Dog as an ornament, not as a family member. Never gets any attention, no walks, no play time etc. They let it out at night, and it starts barking...and never stops. I call him, go over and beat on the door, even called the Cops. Talked to his 1st Sgt (We are military, for thsoe of you who havent been paying attention...) and co workers and supervisor. Dog still goes out and barks all night.

Okay evil (And not so evil...) Monkeys...how do I deal w/ the dog and/or the owner? Use your imaginations.
I have contemplated slipping a bowl of chili through the fence, spiking a dog cookie w/ Exlax and fling my dogs pooh over the fence into his yard.
Nothing yet.

And before anyone calls the ASPCA or Bob Barker, I love dogs and dont want to hurt her...just shut her up so I can sleep.
 

Jeremy R

<b>x</b>
Nov 15, 2001
9,698
1,053
behind you with a snap pop
Tell that 1st Sgt that instead of hearing the dog bark, you are hearing alot of gay buttsecks noises coming from your neighbors house.
You didn't ask, but the noises told....

Its worth a shot.;)
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,437
1,017
My own world inside my head
Sooo...neighbors dog barks all night- ALL F-ING NIGHT. Dog as an ornament, not as a family member. Never gets any attention, no walks, no play time etc. They let it out at night, and it starts barking...and never stops. I call him, go over and beat on the door, even called the Cops. Talked to his 1st Sgt (We are military, for thsoe of you who havent been paying attention...) and co workers and supervisor. Dog still goes out and barks all night.

Okay evil (And not so evil...) Monkeys...how do I deal w/ the dog and/or the owner? Use your imaginations.
I have contemplated slipping a bowl of chili through the fence, spiking a dog cookie w/ Exlax and fling my dogs pooh over the fence into his yard.
Nothing yet.

And before anyone calls the ASPCA or Bob Barker, I love dogs and dont want to hurt her...just shut her up so I can sleep.
Didnt read all the other posts yet......But a 357 would quite the dog up pretty quickly........

Seriously though, take a ziplock sandwhich baggie, put a bit of straight ammonia in it, seal it up, and throw it near were teh dog likes to bark hard enough so it breaks open. The dog will get a big whiff, and go hide.







Blast it with piss!
NOw that I read the other posts I see this, same principal, only ALOT stronger......... Yes, pissing near your neioghbors dogs that keep barking really does shut them up
 
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Dirtjumper999

Turbo Monkey
Feb 13, 2005
1,556
0
Charlotte, NC
Make friends with it. Begin to secretly train it at night. Ultimately culminating with it attacking its owner.
Win. My neighbor has kind of the same... but opposite.. dog. They don't give it any attention... it just sits in the yard looking all lonely. Sometimes when they aren't home, I go play with the dog. But then it's sad because I usually have to leave after a few minutes and all it wants to do is run around and play. Go over and play with it when you get a chance? Dobermans are very playful dogs most of the time, even though its kind of scary to play with them lol.
 

keen

Monkey
Mar 30, 2003
355
0
I had an issue w/ a barking dog and the owners that could care less about their dogs behavior. Police, animal control was a tedious process w/ little results. I should have listened to a freind that had a similar experience - don't say a word to anyone slip the pooch hamburger wrapped rat poison. Sounds cruel and punishing but I spent two years waking up @ all hours of the night from a fricken dog barking. The dog and owner seem to have more rights than you & me.
 

zahgurim

Underwater monkey
Mar 9, 2005
1,100
12
lolAsia
Let it out of the yard.
Can't bark at you from next door if it's not trapped in the neighborhood.

Or bring over a Korean friend for a BBQ?
 

Spudzie

Monkey
Dec 13, 2001
421
0
Hebron, ohio
Feed it peanut Better thats what i do to my neighbors pugs when he leave them out all night...it dont stop the barking but itslows them down from barking
 

drkenan

anti-dentite
Oct 1, 2006
3,441
1
west asheville
I should have listened to a freind that had a similar experience - don't say a word to anyone slip the pooch hamburger wrapped rat poison. Sounds cruel and punishing but I spent two years waking up @ all hours of the night from a fricken dog barking. The dog and owner seem to have more rights than you & me.

You've got to be fvcking kidding me.
 

Banshee Rider

Turbo Monkey
Jul 31, 2003
1,452
10
I personally like the bowl of chili/ex lax idea. Slip it to the dog at 5am, a few hours before they him back inside and leave for work. ****ing owned. I did that to a douchebag roommate who would always drink my milk.
 

Dirtjumper999

Turbo Monkey
Feb 13, 2005
1,556
0
Charlotte, NC
Lol I like how almost everyone is taking it out on the dog. It's the owners fault, go over and knock on the door and say if the retard can't have a dog without giving it the attention it needs, then get rid of the dog. I am sure there are plenty of families that would love to adopt an energetic dog. If after that, the owner says something like.. what business is it of yours, respond with, its my business when the dog keeps me awake while he is barking for attention. Dogs bark when they need something, it's their only way of verbally communicating with us, the owner needs to step up to the role of pet owner, or give the dog to someone who can. So if the owner doesn't want to cooperate with you, than either kick his ass, or offer to take the dog to a kennel to be adopted by a deserving family. Neglect should be illegal.
 

drkenan

anti-dentite
Oct 1, 2006
3,441
1
west asheville
I had an issue w/ a barking dog and the owners that could care less about their dogs behavior. Police, animal control was a tedious process w/ little results. I should have listened to a freind that had a similar experience - don't say a word to anyone slip the pooch hamburger wrapped rat poison. Sounds cruel and punishing but I spent two years waking up @ all hours of the night from a fricken dog barking. The dog and owner seem to have more rights than you & me.
FYI - admitting to and advocating a felony on a public forum isn't the smartest idea, douche. GTFO.
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
22,092
1,132
NC
I had an issue w/ a barking dog and the owners that could care less about their dogs behavior. Police, animal control was a tedious process w/ little results. I should have listened to a freind that had a similar experience - don't say a word to anyone slip the pooch hamburger wrapped rat poison. Sounds cruel and punishing but I spent two years waking up @ all hours of the night from a fricken dog barking. The dog and owner seem to have more rights than you & me.
Go die in a fire, you cowardly little piece of sh*t.
 

rockofullr

confused
Jun 11, 2009
7,342
924
East Bay, Cali
I just moved into a new house and I am having a similar problem.

My best idea so far is, call the neighbor every time the dog starts barking and tell him about it. At least that way I am not the only one being bothered and maybe enough phone calls in the middle of the night will motivate him to do something.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
And I'm back...

Are you living on post or in a civi residence?

On post: No idea. I left the post as soon as her highness tried to move me in. Something about having to give them my guns and letting them register them for me didn't sit well. Either did the thing about random white glove inspections....

Off post: File a civil complaint of nuisance and prohabition of peaceful enjoyment against the neighbor. It's a civil action, so you're going to ask for damages. Keep it in small claims so you don't need a lawyer. Find out what your sleep is worth to you, find a way to make it so it fits to the statutory max of a small claims suit in your county.

Have it served on him, and then offer to settle the whole thing if he will:
a. find a way to keep the dog happy.
b. give you the dog.
c. move away.

Or, go sh1t on his front porch when the dog barks.