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The rules

Mattcz

Chimp
Oct 17, 2009
36
3
This is why my road bike is rotten in storage.
Here are my rules:
1. Pedal Pedal Pedal
2. Dont be a douche
 

ire

Turbo Monkey
Aug 6, 2007
6,196
4
There are rules and etiquette in each of the cycling disciplines, DH included. You wouldn't show up to a DH race in a skinsuit. In cyclocross there are dos and don'ts partly based on the tradition of the sport.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
54,227
20,006
Sleazattle
There are rules and etiquette in each of the cycling disciplines, DH included. You wouldn't show up to a DH race in a skinsuit. In cyclocross there are dos and don'ts partly based on the tradition of the sport.
In recent years the DH clownsuit has gotten more ridiculous than the roadie underwear kit.

Either way I'll stick to my collection of plain black shorts and numerous free jerseys.
 

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,031
5,919
borcester rhymes
Rule 8:

Saddles, Bars, and Tires3:

* Match the saddle to the bars and the tires to black; or
* Match the bars to the color of the frame at the top of the head tube and the saddle to the color of the frame at the top of the seat tube and the tires to the color where they come closest to the frame; or
* Match the saddle and the bars to the frame decals; or
* Black, black, black

:nose:
 

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,031
5,919
borcester rhymes
hmmm...rule 34?

while I agree there is an etiquette to riding disciplines, that etiquette goes out the window rapidly as the level of fun increases. IE, when you're in a place where nobody gives a **** whether you're in a skinsuit or business suit, you're in a good place. When you're somewhere people formulate "rules" based on appropriate appearance, such as pajamas for DH or matching your handlebars to the color of your frame nearest the tires, prepare to suffer.
 

nyhc00

Monkey
Jul 19, 2010
496
0
CT
There are rules and etiquette in each of the cycling disciplines, DH included. You wouldn't show up to a DH race in a skinsuit. In cyclocross there are dos and don'ts partly based on the tradition of the sport.
Weird , because i think wearing a skinsuit to a DH race would be really funny. My buddy who races pro DH routinely goes riding wearing dockers and a business shirt or golf shirt with the sleeves cut off. I have ridden a skatepark before in a Brooks Brothers suit after I got out of an interview awhile back. I dubbed it "classy shredding". And my buddy out in AZ shows up to 24 hr races and even the SSWC wearing either a gorilla suit or a banana suit. It's all about having fun for some of us I guess.
 

insanitylevel9

triple nubby
Jan 7, 2011
2,001
5
hopkinton ma
Weird , because i think wearing a skinsuit to a DH race would be really funny. My buddy who races pro DH routinely goes riding wearing dockers and a business shirt or golf shirt with the sleeves cut off. I have ridden a skatepark before in a Brooks Brothers suit after I got out of an interview awhile back. I dubbed it "classy shredding". And my buddy out in AZ shows up to 24 hr races and even the SSWC wearing either a gorilla suit or a banana suit. It's all about having fun for some of us I guess.
thats my thoughts exactly, this summer i plain on going to highland wearing a suit and riding for the day.
 

X3pilot

Texans fan - LOL
Aug 13, 2007
5,860
1
SoMD
When I lived in PA, I lived near Emmaus (home of Bicycling mag) and Trexlertown (velodrome). Pretty much describes a lot of the attitudes, but there is the same bunch of d-bags in all aspects of everything, if you look hard enough.

But the rule about fighting with gorrillas is pretty cool.
 

dante

Unabomber
Feb 13, 2004
8,807
9
looking for classic NE singletrack
Anyone who thinks that there aren't a similar batch of rules for DH is delusional. Actually, a bunch of the roadie rules would either transfer exactly over to DH, or would transfer with just a minor change (like changing Mapei to TLD for example).

I should know, I repeatedly was reminded that I was breaking "the rules" for wearing sunglasses with a full-face (instead of goggles) or normal mtn bike shorts instead of DH/moto shorts. :)
 

golgiaparatus

Out of my element
Aug 30, 2002
7,340
41
Deep in the Jungles of Oklahoma
I had a pretty good laugh at some of them... most seemed pretty tongue in cheek to me.

My favorite is the one about training:
"Training never gets easier, you just go faster. Training is like fighting a gorilla, you don't quit when you're tired, you quit when the gorilla is tired".

Also #5
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
54,227
20,006
Sleazattle
Anyone who thinks that there aren't a similar batch of rules for DH is delusional. Actually, a bunch of the roadie rules would either transfer exactly over to DH, or would transfer with just a minor change (like changing Mapei to TLD for example).

I should know, I repeatedly was reminded that I was breaking "the rules" for wearing sunglasses with a full-face (instead of goggles) or normal mtn bike shorts instead of DH/moto shorts. :)
Road and DH are the two extremes of the cycling spectrum. Like in politics the extremes become extraordinarily similar, Hitler and Stalin were very much alike as are roadie and DH fashion.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
40,937
13,130
Portland, OR
There are rules and etiquette in each of the cycling disciplines, DH included. You wouldn't show up to a DH race in a skinsuit. In cyclocross there are dos and don'ts partly based on the tradition of the sport.
Am I allowed to have mismatched bars/saddle/tires in DH? Because that wouldn't be ghey at all.
 

dante

Unabomber
Feb 13, 2004
8,807
9
looking for classic NE singletrack
Rules for DH?

1) NO BULLET HEAD. A visor is sold with your full-face for a very specific reason: to look cool. Don't even think of showing up without one. Note: If you crash and mangle the visor, leave it attached. It just looks like you're hard-core. If you crash and completely rip the visor off, fake an injury and go home. It's not worth the stigma of riding without one.

2) Minion Fs are for racing, Minon Rs are for fork bumpers.

3) You must wear an established TLD "kit", preferably new that year. Exception: Cut-off jeans, a ratty t-shirt, no gloves and no pads is acceptable only as long as all of those qualifications are met.

4) No hydration packs. Ever.

5) No walking. Ever. If you get on a trail over your head, learn to ride it or die trying. If you flat/mechanical, continue riding to the bottom. Nothing says "hardcore" like trashing an $80 rim + wheel build.

6) Race results are what count. No points are given for "winning practice" (exception, Ska Todd :cheers:).

7) Your bike must be worth more than the car it's attached to.

etc.
 

buildyourown

Turbo Monkey
Feb 9, 2004
4,832
0
South Seattle
Some of those are dead-on.

Bars shouldn't be higher than your seat, don't wear Pro Team jerseys and sticker the **** out of your bike, no cycling caps off the bike.

All thing d-bags do.
 

rockofullr

confused
Jun 11, 2009
7,342
924
East Bay, Cali
Rules for DH?

1) NO BULLET HEAD. A visor is sold with your full-face for a very specific reason: to look cool. Don't even think of showing up without one. Note: If you crash and mangle the visor, leave it attached. It just looks like you're hard-core. If you crash and completely rip the visor off, fake an injury and go home. It's not worth the stigma of riding without one.

2) Minion Fs are for racing, Minon Rs are for fork bumpers.

3) You must wear an established TLD "kit", preferably new that year. Exception: Cut-off jeans, a ratty t-shirt, no gloves and no pads is acceptable only as long as all of those qualifications are met.

4) No hydration packs. Ever.

5) No walking. Ever. If you get on a trail over your head, learn to ride it or die trying. If you flat/mechanical, continue riding to the bottom. Nothing says "hardcore" like trashing an $80 rim + wheel build.

6) Race results are what count. No points are given for "winning practice" (exception, Ska Todd :cheers:).

7) Your bike must be worth more than the car it's attached to.

etc.
I'm doing it right!!!!!
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
21,076
9,780
I have no idea where I am
Rules for DH?

1) NO BULLET HEAD. A visor is sold with your full-face for a very specific reason: to look cool. Don't even think of showing up without one. Note: If you crash and mangle the visor, leave it attached. It just looks like you're hard-core. If you crash and completely rip the visor off, fake an injury and go home. It's not worth the stigma of riding without one.

2) Minion Fs are for racing, Minon Rs are for fork bumpers.

3) You must wear an established TLD "kit", preferably new that year. Exception: Cut-off jeans, a ratty t-shirt, no gloves and no pads is acceptable only as long as all of those qualifications are met.

4) No hydration packs. Ever.

5) No walking. Ever. If you get on a trail over your head, learn to ride it or die trying. If you flat/mechanical, continue riding to the bottom. Nothing says "hardcore" like trashing an $80 rim + wheel build.

6) Race results are what count. No points are given for "winning practice" (exception, Ska Todd :cheers:).

7) Your bike must be worth more than the car it's attached to.

etc.

8) If you call out a retardedly difficult line during practice, you have to hit it first. Otherwise learn to keep your mouth shut.
 

jasride

Turbo Monkey
Sep 23, 2006
1,069
5
PA
Funny as hell. Whether it's serious or not, it's funny as hell. Fighting the gorilla is awesome. Also, when I commute to work in my black baggy shorts and back pack and cross paths with a full roadie and wave to him with no reply back, I just keep rollin with a smile. It's ok, he's in another place.
 

Greyhound

Trail Rat
Jul 8, 2002
5,065
365
Alamance County, NC
I care not for riding on the road, but that was really funny. :thumb:

#5.

....and my favorite: (taken from Rule 84)


"...All stopped riders are thereupon entitled – but not obliged – to lend assistance, instruction and/or stringent criticism of the tyre mender’s technique."


"Stringent Criticism" I have to start using that more often. I was ROLFing.