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The ultimate random movie quote thread!.........

gonefirefightin

free wieners
here is a couple to get it started

Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…”
 
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sstalder5

Turbo Monkey
Aug 20, 2008
1,942
20
Beech Mtn Definitely NOT Boulder
"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."

Doug Butabi: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone.
Steve Butabi: Yeah, he was, seriously.
Doug Butabi: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this.
Steve Butabi: And who do you think that guy was?
Doug Butabi: Emilio Estevez.
Steve Butabi: The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, I was there.
Doug Butabi: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Breakfast Clubber's name.
Steve Butabi: I was like, "Emilio."

Mr. Zadir: Dooey, did you just grab my ass?
Dooey: Sir, from where I'm standing, that's a physical impossibilty.
Mr. Zadir: Oh, I know your tricks, Dooey!

"This isn't where I parked my car."
 

JayBear

Monkey
Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.
Angie D'Annunzio: A looper?
Carl Spackler: A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
 

Whoops

Turbo Monkey
Jul 9, 2006
1,011
0
New Zealand
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

/thread?
 

EastCoaster

Monkey
Mar 30, 2002
403
0
Southeastern PA
Two from Mr Mom:

Jack Butler: You want a beer?
Ron (Jack's wife's Boss): It's 7 o'clock in the morning!
Jack Butler: Scotch?

Ron (wife's boss): Yeah? Are you going to make it 220?
Jack Butler: Yeah. 220.... 221...whatever it takes.
 

Arkayne

I come bearing GIFs
May 10, 2005
3,738
15
SoCal
Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
 

Scrub

Turbo Monkey
Feb 4, 2003
1,454
120
NOR CAL, Sac/CoCo County
"I'll be back"

"That's not a knife, thats a knife"

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses."


This thread is gonna be full of WIN!!
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,942
24,512
media blackout
Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Who made that man a gunner?
I did sir. He's my cousin.
Who is he?
He's an asshole sir.
I know that! What's his name?
That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
And his cousin?
He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
Yo!
I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!
Keep firing, assholes!
 

IH8Rice

I'm Mr. Negative! I Fail!
Aug 2, 2008
24,524
494
Im over here now
-i thought we could take care of this here in Brainerd.....you know, to be in compliance.


-every line in The Big Lebowski and American Psycho
 

stoney

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde
Jul 26, 2006
21,613
7,271
Colorado
More of dialogue:

T.S. Quint: But they're engaged.
Brodie: Doesn't matter, can't happen.
T.S. Quint: Why not? It's bound to come up.
Brodie: It's impossible! Lois Lane could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle his sperm? I guarantee you that when he comes during sex, he probally blows a load like a shotgun blast... right through her back! And if by chance Lois does get pregnent, what about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?
T.S. Quint: Sure, why not?
Brodie: He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan, the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way Superman could bang regular chicks is if he does it with a kryptonite condom, but that would probaly kill him!
 

stosh

Darth Bailer
Jul 20, 2001
22,238
393
NY
-Life is a marathon and you cannot win a marathon without putting on a few band-aids on your nipple. Right?
 

sstalder5

Turbo Monkey
Aug 20, 2008
1,942
20
Beech Mtn Definitely NOT Boulder
"Waiters, I'm the only guy on the planet gets busted by ****ing waiters. Why the feds decided to bust me on that particular night, I'll never know. Maybe it was the Porches and the Maserati's in the driveway, my Colombian guest list, or the cocaine buffet? Whatever it was, they were just waiting for me to slip up, and I did."

Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?"
Lawrence: No. No, man. ****, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
 
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Mr Jones

Turbo Monkey
Nov 12, 2007
1,475
0
Who said that?! Who the Fcvk said that?! Whoz the slimey communist sh!t twinkle toed cocksvcker down here who just signed his own death warrant?! Nobody huh?! The fairy fcvking godmother said it. Out fcvking standing!
 

gonefirefightin

free wieners
I am serious … and don’t call me Shirley



That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.



It’s not a tumor!



Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn’t we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? ‘Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we’d all be put out in K.P.



The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe… women!



I’m the ghost with the most, babe.
 

S.n.a.k.e.

Monkey
Mar 12, 2003
524
0
N. Tonawanda, NY
Some Princess Bride quotes:

"INCONCEIVABLE.... You keep using that word. I don't think you know what it means."

"Give us the gate key.
I have no gate key.
Fezzik, tear his arms off!
Oh, you mean *this* gate key"

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die"

"You're trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen"
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,443
1,969
Front Range, dude...
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that..."Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail..."
 

IH8Rice

I'm Mr. Negative! I Fail!
Aug 2, 2008
24,524
494
Im over here now
-You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's see how well you handle it.

-I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
 

-BB-

I broke all the rules, but somehow still became mo
Sep 6, 2001
4,254
28
Livin it up in the O.C.
El Guapo: Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe: A what?
El Guapo: A *plethora*.
Jefe: Oh yes, you have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?