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Need something horrible for a secret santa party.

jonKranked

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,982
24,535
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JRogers said:
Interesting selection of stuff in the "Customers who bought this also viewed..." section there. Unicorn meat, a whole rabbit, that wolves howling at the moon t-shirt...
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That my friend, is the Three Wolf Moon Shirt. And it shall be addressed by its proper name.
 
syadasti

syadasti

i heart mac
Apr 15, 2002
12,690
290
VT
A Xmas Sh*t Log:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tió_de_Nadal

On Christmas day or, depending on the particular household, on Christmas Eve, one puts the tió partly into the fireplace and orders it to "****" (the fire part of this tradition is no longer as widespread as it once was, since many modern homes do not have a fireplace). To make him "****", one beats him with sticks, while singing various songs of Tió de Nadal.

The tió does not drop larger objects, as those are considered to be brought by the Three Wise Men. It does leave candies, nuts and torrons. Depending on the part of Catalonia, it may also give out dried figs. When nothing is left to "****", it drops a salt herring, a head of garlic, an onion or "urinates". What comes out of the tió is a communal rather than individual gift, shared by everyone present.

Caga tió song:
"Caga tió,
caga torró,
avellanes i mató,
si no cagues bé
et daré un cop de bastó.
caga tió!"
**** log,
**** turrón,
hazelnuts and cottage cheese,
if you don't **** well,
I'll hit you with a stick,
**** log!

An alternate version goes something like this:
"Caga tió,
tió de Nadal,
no caguis arengades,
que són massa salades
caga torrons
que són més bons!"

**** log,
log of Christmas,
don't **** herrings,
which are too salty,
**** turrón
which is much better!

After hitting it softly with a stick during the song it is hit harder on the words Caga tió!. Then somebody puts their hand under the blanket and takes a gift. The gift is opened and then the song begins again. There are many such songs: these are just examples.
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