Quantcast

Strip clubs...

JohnE

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,443
1,969
Front Range, dude...
So I went to a hockey tourney last weekend, and a part of the whole hockey road trip thing is to go to strip clubs. Wow...what a drag. I am getting old, as the whole thing was just too contrived and totally pitiful. I used to work the door at a place in AK, and it was fun...this was just a waste of time and money, and strippers are getting lame. Really lame.

But being the only relatively sober guy in a room full of drunks is always interesting...
 
HardtailHack

HardtailHack

used an iron once
Jan 20, 2009
6,745
5,638
Chicks pretending they like getting naked for a bunch of ugly drunks, contrived, never.

Pretty sure I got kicked out of the last strip club I was in.
 
JohnE

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,443
1,969
Front Range, dude...
It is somewhat de rigueur to hit a peeler at hockey tournaments, be it high class or skanky (The tournament that is!)...the funnest part is lieing your ass off to all the girls.

"See that guy? He just got divorced...poor guy...has a ton of money too..."

"Oh him? He is about to get married/gay/deploy/go to jail/get a sex change..."

"Oh yeah, I make a ton of money...what? Buy you a €50 bottle of crappy champagne? Suuuure...go ahead and get one. Get 2, matter o fact...guys, we have to go, now!"
 
Last edited:
cecil

cecil

Turbo Monkey
Jun 3, 2008
2,064
2,345
with the voices in my head
A friend of a friend was dating a stripper and brought her and her friends to his Halloween party a few months ago they were all chubby, and one of them had a huge gunt.

I like the girl next door Ho's better than the paid coke Ho's
 
Jm_

Jm_

sled dog's bollocks
Jan 14, 2002
18,995
9,652
AK
JohnE said:
I used to work the door at a place in AK, and it was fun...this was just a waste of time and money, and strippers are getting lame. Really lame.
Click to expand...
Was it "The Great Alaskan Bush Co."? That place is right by the climbing gym I go to...

There's another "Sin Club" or something that's on my commute to work...
 
mantispf2000

mantispf2000

Turbo Monkey
Aug 9, 2001
1,795
246
Nevada, 2 hours from Mammoth
Haven't been to a strip club since Interbike first went to Vegas in '91? Totally lame to me. I must be a bore, too, as last April, when I was out in Phoenix celebrating my parents' anni, my brothers wanted to go to Toby Keith's Bar and Grill, they had beers, I had soda, and just felt out of place.

Damn, being 50 (now 51) has it's downer side.....
 
AngryMetalsmith

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
21,229
10,087
I have no idea where I am
Coming back from a craft show in Tampa several years ago, I kept seeing these catchy billboards along the highway that advertised a restaurant with the best food in town and all nude entertainment. It was early in the day, and I had a long drive ahead of me, so the need for coffee and curiosity got the better of me.

This was by far the most bizarre eating establishment I have ever patronized. There were of course the usual tables and chairs like any other diner. Towards the end of the main room was an adult toy shop. Which why you might need a dildo with your chicken fingers is beyond me. But the main attraction was the lunch counter. One side was for customers and the other was were the girls danced. There were stair railing type slats that separated the two.

Now, having never been to a strip club during the day, I was unaware of the 'talent" that performed during the lunch shift. let's just say that these girls probably don't get to dance much at night. Not real easy on the eyes.

Only one guy was seated at the counter. He sat there munching away on a burger while the ugliest stripper I have ever seen was bent over with her box pushed up against the rails. Dude is just chowing down on this burger all the while starring at her hoo-hoo.

I watched all this while I finished my all-you-can-drink coffee and decided it was probably time to hit the road.
 
T

tekin112000

Chimp
Feb 10, 2009
68
44
cecil said:
A friend of a friend was dating a stripper and brought her and her friends to his Halloween party a few months ago they were all chubby, and one of them had a huge gunt.

I like the girl next door Ho's better than the paid coke Ho's
Click to expand...
This!

I lived in Florida in the 90's when strip clubs like The Doll House had unbelievable talent.

In the last 20 years Americans have gotten fatter, all Americans, including strippers
 
Kanye West

Kanye West

220# bag of hacktastic
Aug 31, 2006
3,741
473
Beef Supreme said:
This place near my house specializes in these lithe little things that can't be older then 19. I keep expecting Chris Hansen to pop in and tell me to have a seat right over there.
Click to expand...
Anyone else besides me have this exact same feeling during the women's figure skating during the Olympics?
 
OGRipper

OGRipper

back alley ripper
Feb 3, 2004
10,653
1,128
NORCAL is the hizzle
Your wives/S.O.'s have access to your RM accounts, right?

Sure, good talent helps, but strip clubs can be a ton of fun with a good group and the right attitudes.
 
jackalope

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,609
5,924
in a single wide, cooking meth...
I don't go to strip clubs often, but when I do, its the sketchiest, dirtiest one I can find. I haven't been in years, but the only way to make it remotely tolerable is to go for "people" watching. If you're sober, its just really depressing, but if you're inebriated, it can be kinda entertaining and helps you feel better about yourself and the direction your life is going (i.e. hopefully in the opposite direction of basically everyone else in the joint). Plus, at the shady places, I've found I can get whatever I want with the prescription pad I stole from my doctor buddy (just scrawl "Sudafedz" on the slips, and make it rain).

And this seems apropos

 
jimmydean

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,192
13,339
Portland, OR
There is a joint here that is right down the street from my buddies shop. We call it "Cheers with tits" because its a cool local dive the just happens to have a stage. It used to be on my way home, so we would stop and shoot pool and catch the last 2 hours of happy hour. They have kind of a high dancer turnover because its not a busy place. But I know the owner and like 2 of the bartenders and there are a few regulars that shoot a good game.

If we get 4 or more people wanting to play pool, we usually play 3 ball. A buck a game, low score wins. I made $76 one night. :rofl:

<edit> Anyone who knows Portland knows we have a couple strip clubs around. :D
 
Last edited:
jimmydean

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,192
13,339
Portland, OR
There is a joint sort of on the way home that my lady calls "The Dirty 30" where we ran into Matt Roloff. He got his last DUI leaving the Dirty 30. It's a little sketchy parking on the side of a 50mph commuter hwy, but they have a couple girls worth a peep.

<edit> You will also find some incredible local beers on tap that you might not find otherwise. I discovered this gem at a strip club.

 
Last edited:
AngryMetalsmith

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
21,229
10,087
I have no idea where I am
There's a strip club in Charlotte that is without a doubt the trailer park of clubs. Sleazy looking on the outside and cramped nastiness inside. Meth head looking stripper with stretch marks was not hot. Nope !
 
ICEBALL585

ICEBALL585

Bacontard
Sep 8, 2009
6,805
2,045
.:585:.
I've been in some crazy high class strip clubs and some bottom of the barrel strip clubs.

I went to this one once in Elmira NY (which is the sh*ttyest town in NY) that was so depressing cause the girls would ask you for a dollar so they could put it in the jukebox so that they would have a song to dance to on stage. And the stage was basically a table in the corner of the room.
 
jimmydean

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,192
13,339
Portland, OR
ICEBALL585 said:
I went to this one once in Elmira NY (which is the sh*ttyest town in NY) that was so depressing cause the girls would ask you for a dollar so they could put it in the jukebox so that they would have a song to dance to on stage. And the stage was basically a table in the corner of the room.
Click to expand...
You've just described Mary's, the oldest strip club in Portland. :rofl:

Only they aren't nice about it. But if you are sitting at the rack, you better have at least $3 in front of you. There is a place on the edge of NW that uses all $2 bills. There is a sign in front of EACH SEAT at the rack that says "$2 per song minimum".

How divey does a joint have to be to tell you to tip at the rack?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom