Windham WC DH 2015 - Murricaaa!
- Thread starter Mo(n)arch
- Start date
My weekend prediction.
Missy shows up in a rainbow colored pajama kit to "represent". The UCI, Carpenter and Atherton don't like it. The Missile finishes the women's race and hops back on the chair disappearing from the public.
As people are wondering what's going on, some new school racer boy named "Bruce" finishes on the podium for the men's. It's at this time Bruce removes his helmet, just to find out it's Missy/Bruce REPREZENTIN'! Bruce makes national news and his new clothing line Balls Swingin'™ gets massive promotions for being equal. The Windham golf course now gets all the PGA tournaments that used to be at Trump's courses. Windham takes up equality to the next level by spraying their snowmaking guns at the top of the Mountain, creating a rainbow during the summer months. The UCI can't do testosterone testing anymore since Missy has the biggest set. Lances lawyers fight the UCI and get his jerseys reinstated due to the ruling.
Missy shows up in a rainbow colored pajama kit to "represent". The UCI, Carpenter and Atherton don't like it. The Missile finishes the women's race and hops back on the chair disappearing from the public.
As people are wondering what's going on, some new school racer boy named "Bruce" finishes on the podium for the men's. It's at this time Bruce removes his helmet, just to find out it's Missy/Bruce REPREZENTIN'! Bruce makes national news and his new clothing line Balls Swingin'™ gets massive promotions for being equal. The Windham golf course now gets all the PGA tournaments that used to be at Trump's courses. Windham takes up equality to the next level by spraying their snowmaking guns at the top of the Mountain, creating a rainbow during the summer months. The UCI can't do testosterone testing anymore since Missy has the biggest set. Lances lawyers fight the UCI and get his jerseys reinstated due to the ruling.
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I was there a few Friday's ago it's under construction and as a general contractor I saw they had a lot of loose ends on their roof framing and sheathing.
So this is a fast turn around since the Mt. Canadia race, which is a nice contrast from the 1st and 2nd races this season. Since I’m not racing, nor risking anything more serious than a strained fist pump muscle, I’m erectally stoked about the “2 Cups, 1 week” aspect of things. Now lets set the stage for the upcoming Mt. Freedom© race –
· Anything north of the Bronx is technically “upstate New York”. Pretty sure Mt. Freedom is not in the Bronx, nor in any of the surrounding boroughs.
· Its possible Ratty may have another black eye.
· Ratty will never win another WC race thanks to his gimp ankle…oh…wait
· The Mets are in first place of their division at the moment.
· Probably won’t see any confederate flags around Mt. Freedom this weekend.
· I’ve found most Saranac beers to be “meh”, but Brooklyn Brewing generally makes good stuff. Gennesse can be used at tubeless tire sealant in a pinch.
· The NY state animal is a beaver…must…resist…bad…vag jokes…
· The area of Windham was settled (*by chalkies) ~1780, and some claim it was JBP who established the town on his northern trek to Vermont. Lending credence to this theory is the fact that most of the elementary school boys in the area sport a Wilford Brimley ‘stache.
· The Catskills really are a beautiful set of earth boobs.
· The Blessed Ginger is only 25 points up on maybe the best dude ever, and 70 or so ahead GM. In short, shit’s getting tight, so it will be interesting to see how qualis pan out, as none of these guys can afford to give up a bunch of points at any point really.
· I’m still chubbed up about Mark Wallace’s free-rock huxx at MSA last weekend, which was borne out by his fastest time through the second sector – over a second faster than even the rock skimmer himself.
· I’m still chubbed up about Hart’s huck to flat last year, followed by a 30G left hander back into the woods.
· Countering the above chubs, I’m still not sure how T-broz is alive after last year’s nasty looking OTB. Do not want…
· EAST COAST ROX bitchez!!!
· Weather looks tits, so I’m guessing it will be dusty and face melting fast this weekend.
[R2D2 calculation noises]
[Moar R2D2 calculation noises]
Ahh, finally this bucket of bolts has spit out some useful results…Here we go –
1. IH8rice: You damn skippy, the Post Office can deliver on effing Sunday!!! Making a last minute decision to skip the shale slip & slide at Platty, Mr. Rice gets rad saddled upon his venerable M9 (which somehow doesn’t creak like a mid-2000’s Ford Explorer) and sporting American flag themed body paint (and nothing else). Afterwards, Zoch drops Danny Hart and signs the Rice Rocket. Probably needs to keep the day job tho.
2. Donald Trump: You can’t escape this racist, POW hatin’ gas bag these days, and Mt. Freedom is no exception. The squinty eyed, GOP Presidential candidate throws down a golden gantlet astride a Rolls Royce E-fat bike, but is ultimately slowed when his (still insanely bizarre) hair air flap pops up in the motorway and costs him a couple invaluable mph’s.
3. Lester Minnelli – Following Bruce’s lead, ol’Liza goes the other direction and takes a respite from her/his Broadway schedule after adding Bruce’s no longer needed dingy and adams apple. Using it’s(?) impressive bulk and catching wind of a fried elephant ear booth after the road gap, Lester makes an impressive WC debut astride a Hood Mussel (arguably the only frame that can withstand such a heavy load).
4. Chris Christie – Speaking of heavy loads, the current NJ Governor and would be GOP Presidential candidate, can’t stand for Trump to garner even more “core party” votes unopposed, so he hires a rock quarry dump truck to deliver his manly heft to the peak of Mt. Freedom. Eschewing a bike altogether, the big fella from the Garden State takes the form of a round semi-gelatinous hush puppy and simply rolls down to a solid podium spot – but unfortunately is not able to actually stop all that rotational mass and finally gets wedged across the George Washington bridge a few hours later.
5. Geezus – using the recent post-race party donnybrook to fuel his sputtering anger engine, the glum golem rights the ship with the last podium spot. He is even moved to loudly sing the British national anthem during Rice’s touching rendition of the Freedom anthem. But be warned G-man, Mr. Rice is not to be trifled with.
I dare say it’s hard to argue with R2D2 and the above predictions, but I’ll channel my inner C3P0 and throw out an alternate (if unimaginative) outcome –
1. Rat – in a word, “confidence”…have to think he’s got it back now, and seems relatively healthy. Combine that with last years result (with almost no pedaling btw), I think he’ll be in the mix for the top step this weekend.
2. Gwin – dry and fast conditions seem to play to his (many) strengths, and his history here is stellar as well. Hopefully he will keep his bike out of the sun as much as possible and it will stay together for timed runs.
3. Loic – no one will be surprised if he wins this weekend, but I’m betting he’s going to go the Danny Hart route and win Worlds.
4. T-broz – like Loic, a win here won’t be a shocker either, and he seems to be getting faster every race.
5. Neko – nah, just kidding (sadly)…so lets say GM, as he’s clearly in form again.
Ladies –
1. [sigh]…Rach – nothing against the GT speed diva, but damn, its like 2013 again.
2. Pom Pom – looked great in her comeback race at MSA, so I think she’ll continue picking up the pace.
3. Manon – finally starting to show some of the form we saw last year, as she wasn’t that far off Rach last weekend.
4. Seagraves – lil’ gal has really impressed me with her improved consistency and overall faster pace.
5. Hannah – come on baby, try to forget I’m only a few states away and just focus on putting in a rowdy, but clean run.
Whew! No beaver jokes, so I’m signing off while I’m still enjoying the view from behind.
· Anything north of the Bronx is technically “upstate New York”. Pretty sure Mt. Freedom is not in the Bronx, nor in any of the surrounding boroughs.
· Its possible Ratty may have another black eye.
· Ratty will never win another WC race thanks to his gimp ankle…oh…wait
· The Mets are in first place of their division at the moment.
· Probably won’t see any confederate flags around Mt. Freedom this weekend.
· I’ve found most Saranac beers to be “meh”, but Brooklyn Brewing generally makes good stuff. Gennesse can be used at tubeless tire sealant in a pinch.
· The NY state animal is a beaver…must…resist…bad…vag jokes…
· The area of Windham was settled (*by chalkies) ~1780, and some claim it was JBP who established the town on his northern trek to Vermont. Lending credence to this theory is the fact that most of the elementary school boys in the area sport a Wilford Brimley ‘stache.
· The Catskills really are a beautiful set of earth boobs.
· The Blessed Ginger is only 25 points up on maybe the best dude ever, and 70 or so ahead GM. In short, shit’s getting tight, so it will be interesting to see how qualis pan out, as none of these guys can afford to give up a bunch of points at any point really.
· I’m still chubbed up about Mark Wallace’s free-rock huxx at MSA last weekend, which was borne out by his fastest time through the second sector – over a second faster than even the rock skimmer himself.
· I’m still chubbed up about Hart’s huck to flat last year, followed by a 30G left hander back into the woods.
· Countering the above chubs, I’m still not sure how T-broz is alive after last year’s nasty looking OTB. Do not want…
· EAST COAST ROX bitchez!!!
· Weather looks tits, so I’m guessing it will be dusty and face melting fast this weekend.
[R2D2 calculation noises]
[Moar R2D2 calculation noises]
Ahh, finally this bucket of bolts has spit out some useful results…Here we go –
1. IH8rice: You damn skippy, the Post Office can deliver on effing Sunday!!! Making a last minute decision to skip the shale slip & slide at Platty, Mr. Rice gets rad saddled upon his venerable M9 (which somehow doesn’t creak like a mid-2000’s Ford Explorer) and sporting American flag themed body paint (and nothing else). Afterwards, Zoch drops Danny Hart and signs the Rice Rocket. Probably needs to keep the day job tho.
2. Donald Trump: You can’t escape this racist, POW hatin’ gas bag these days, and Mt. Freedom is no exception. The squinty eyed, GOP Presidential candidate throws down a golden gantlet astride a Rolls Royce E-fat bike, but is ultimately slowed when his (still insanely bizarre) hair air flap pops up in the motorway and costs him a couple invaluable mph’s.
3. Lester Minnelli – Following Bruce’s lead, ol’Liza goes the other direction and takes a respite from her/his Broadway schedule after adding Bruce’s no longer needed dingy and adams apple. Using it’s(?) impressive bulk and catching wind of a fried elephant ear booth after the road gap, Lester makes an impressive WC debut astride a Hood Mussel (arguably the only frame that can withstand such a heavy load).
4. Chris Christie – Speaking of heavy loads, the current NJ Governor and would be GOP Presidential candidate, can’t stand for Trump to garner even more “core party” votes unopposed, so he hires a rock quarry dump truck to deliver his manly heft to the peak of Mt. Freedom. Eschewing a bike altogether, the big fella from the Garden State takes the form of a round semi-gelatinous hush puppy and simply rolls down to a solid podium spot – but unfortunately is not able to actually stop all that rotational mass and finally gets wedged across the George Washington bridge a few hours later.
5. Geezus – using the recent post-race party donnybrook to fuel his sputtering anger engine, the glum golem rights the ship with the last podium spot. He is even moved to loudly sing the British national anthem during Rice’s touching rendition of the Freedom anthem. But be warned G-man, Mr. Rice is not to be trifled with.
I dare say it’s hard to argue with R2D2 and the above predictions, but I’ll channel my inner C3P0 and throw out an alternate (if unimaginative) outcome –
1. Rat – in a word, “confidence”…have to think he’s got it back now, and seems relatively healthy. Combine that with last years result (with almost no pedaling btw), I think he’ll be in the mix for the top step this weekend.
2. Gwin – dry and fast conditions seem to play to his (many) strengths, and his history here is stellar as well. Hopefully he will keep his bike out of the sun as much as possible and it will stay together for timed runs.
3. Loic – no one will be surprised if he wins this weekend, but I’m betting he’s going to go the Danny Hart route and win Worlds.
4. T-broz – like Loic, a win here won’t be a shocker either, and he seems to be getting faster every race.
5. Neko – nah, just kidding (sadly)…so lets say GM, as he’s clearly in form again.
Ladies –
1. [sigh]…Rach – nothing against the GT speed diva, but damn, its like 2013 again.
2. Pom Pom – looked great in her comeback race at MSA, so I think she’ll continue picking up the pace.
3. Manon – finally starting to show some of the form we saw last year, as she wasn’t that far off Rach last weekend.
4. Seagraves – lil’ gal has really impressed me with her improved consistency and overall faster pace.
5. Hannah – come on baby, try to forget I’m only a few states away and just focus on putting in a rowdy, but clean run.
Whew! No beaver jokes, so I’m signing off while I’m still enjoying the view from behind.
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whatever youre smoking, pass it to the left my friend! if i wasnt so hairy, i might just have donned the Freedom Suit (tm) and smacked Geezus.
i will disagree about the confederate flag though. upstate NY seems to think theyre really in the south.
i will disagree about the confederate flag though. upstate NY seems to think theyre really in the south.
Mrs Kickstand here.
It should be pretty easy to find us, I'll be the one sticking my butt out, no matter if I'm on or off my bike.
This picture is more recent though, so keep an eye out for this style of butt stickage outage.
It should be pretty easy to find us, I'll be the one sticking my butt out, no matter if I'm on or off my bike.
This picture is more recent though, so keep an eye out for this style of butt stickage outage.
Pretty cool, here in the US we can charge $400 a night for a room like that, you ought to see what we get for a finished room with windows!
ill be bursting with so much merica that fireworks should be shooting out of my finger tips
Jason Pierre Paul sees what you did there ...he is not amused.
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Am I the only one who hopes Dingleberry crashes one of these times during his commentary and screams like a girl?
probably, I still enjoy his previews, and I never wish any ill will on anyone. Meannie butt
alright Delorme.. we get it. we are all 500lbs and eat cheeseburgers and guns
matty cracks me up. wish i got to see him more these days. dude's a riot
also link?
ah. thanks.
also, i can't not read this and hear matty's voice doing the hick accent.
looks like i might be going after all. possibly dirt bag camping over in catskill park
What time does the men's race start Saturday?
Nice looking forward to some live racing
Helmet cam from the Rat:
http://www.vitalmtb.com/videos/member/RATBOY-HELMET-CAM-Windham-World-Cup,29546/sspomer,2
http://www.vitalmtb.com/videos/member/RATBOY-HELMET-CAM-Windham-World-Cup,29546/sspomer,2
Related:
http://www.velovert.com/information/10301/des-nouvelles-de-remi-thirion-et-emmeline-ragot.
Oh, and Connor F. will win this race
http://www.velovert.com/information/10301/des-nouvelles-de-remi-thirion-et-emmeline-ragot.
Oh, and Connor F. will win this race
No gloves and brakes with middle finger unless she is just giving us all the bird
anyone happen to know what the hours are for the bike park tomorrow? normal schedule is 9-7, not sure if they're running modified due to the event
quali's live timing : http://www.uci.ch/mountain-bike/ucievents/2015-mountain-bike-uci-mountain-bike-world-cup-presented-by-shimano/162153115/widgets/live-timing-169224/
JUNIOR MEN 12:30 PM EST / 9:30AM PDT / 5:30 PM BST / 6:30 PM CEST
ELITE WOMEN 1:30 PM EST / 10:30 AM PDT / 6:30 PM BST / 7:30 PM CEST
ELITE MEN 2:00 PM EST / 11:00 AM PDT / 7:00 PM BST / 8:00 PM CEST
JUNIOR MEN 12:30 PM EST / 9:30AM PDT / 5:30 PM BST / 6:30 PM CEST
ELITE WOMEN 1:30 PM EST / 10:30 AM PDT / 6:30 PM BST / 7:30 PM CEST
ELITE MEN 2:00 PM EST / 11:00 AM PDT / 7:00 PM BST / 8:00 PM CEST
The Missile wrecked yesterday and hurt her wrist. She said she's going easy for quali and will "race the shit out of it tomorrow"! Good luck Missy!
Giove is out. Went outside the ribbon and called it quits.
Edit- WAIT! They red-flagged her due to a crash by the finish line. She's granted a re-run!
Come on Missile!
She gets to qualify "after the men"? See, they're going the screw this up and "The Bruce" will be prevailed! Just wait and see. I learnt from Miss Cleo!
Edit- WAIT! They red-flagged her due to a crash by the finish line. She's granted a re-run!
Come on Missile!
She gets to qualify "after the men"? See, they're going the screw this up and "The Bruce" will be prevailed! Just wait and see. I learnt from Miss Cleo!
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just saw that she posted a DNF and no time for the first split.
Is this referring to her re-run? Hope not!!!