Advance directives for health care

Serial Midget · Feb 18, 2016

I've had one since 1999, mine simply says no vegetative state or artificial support but you can be as heroic as you want when sewing me back to gether.

Pesqueeb · Feb 18, 2016

I haven't, but really should. I've spent enough time in hospital, thanks. I'd really prefer not to, again.

stoney · Feb 18, 2016

I did once Haley was born and we put our trusts together. Revive with 1 month with no improvement and tubes get pulled. Wifey has the same. It allows us to be less* attached to the decision because it was made years ago.

stoney · Feb 18, 2016

Pesqueeb said:
I haven't, but really should. I've spent enough time in hospital, thanks. I'd really prefer not to, again.

Our trust atty is good stuff. He's one of the top in the Denver Metro area and was referred by our CPA (friend) because he handles large family estates and knows everything that should be addressed. $1800 for everything: trust(s), POAs, forward directives, Haley handling, Haley money handling, etc. If you want it, let me know and I'll send it to you (Toshi, you too)

Westy · Feb 18, 2016

I will allow heat lamps to keep my blood temperature up in case I get groggy.

stevew · Feb 18, 2016

just drag my carcass through the streets and set it on fire in the town square.

Westy · Feb 18, 2016

stevew said:
just drag my carcass through the streets and set it on fire in the town square.

Should we dry you out first or just stuff you in an old tire to get things started?

dan-o · Feb 18, 2016

stevew said:
just drag my carcass through the streets and set it on fire in the town square.

The Fallujah Funeral. Always a crowd pleaser.

I need to formally do this as well, but wifey and I have a 'no burden' philosophy re: this.

jonKranked · Feb 18, 2016

when i die don't need a fancy pine box
throw my body in the Buick tune the radio to classic rock

Jozz · Feb 18, 2016

johnbryanpeters said:
...no machines, tubes, or heroics...

Since you're going tubeless is there a provision for Stan's?

stevew · Feb 18, 2016

Westy said:
Should we dry you out first or just stuff you in an old tire to get things started?

i prefer a trusty magnifying glass from acme to get things started.

Pesqueeb · Feb 18, 2016

I wanna go out like Oderus Urungus.

Tom Ritchey's Moustache · Feb 18, 2016

Good notion. Maybe I'll have one drafted when I grow up.

Those close to me do know that, should I expire, they should have me cremated. The ashes delivered in their most modestly-priced receptacle, and promptly transferred to the soil beneath a heady plant.

Westy · Feb 18, 2016

Pesqueeb said:
I wanna go out like Oderus Urungus.

Burning corpse sent downhill on a bike crashing into a large pile of gas soaked pallets.

Jm_ · Feb 18, 2016

Pump me full of Magura Blood and replace my hands with Di2.

SkaredShtles · Feb 18, 2016

What is to happen wtih the moustache?

stoney · Feb 18, 2016

Tom Ritchey's Moustache said:
Good notion. Maybe I'll have one drafted when I grow up.

Those close to me do know that, should I expire, they should have me cremated. The ashes delivered in their most modestly-priced receptacle, and promptly transferred to the soil beneath a heady plant.

This. Give away the valuable parts, burn me and toss me into the ocean. Then move on.

stoney · Feb 18, 2016

SkaredShtles said:
What is to happen wtih the moustache?

It will live on forever.

jonKranked · Feb 18, 2016

SkaredShtles said:
What is to happen wtih the moustache?

Smithsonian.

Or it will become sentient.

Toshi · Feb 18, 2016

I did all my stuff a few years back for free via Get Your Shit Together:

http://www.gyst.com/

It was created by the wife of a 40 year old Microsoft employee, iirc. Biking along Lake Washington one day, hit by a car, dead, chaos. I hope to minimize the chaos should I die unexpectedly.

Pesqueeb · Feb 18, 2016

jonKranked said:
Or it will become sentient.

You assume that it hasn't already. It's perfectly possible that JBP is just a form of parasite living off the mustache itself.

slyfink · Feb 18, 2016

I went to see a lawyer with my wife to get our wills drafted last week. essentially, it's no heroics, burn me, my brother gets to do the administrative shit, her brother gets to take care of the kids, our estate goes to the kids once they turn 21, but her brother can use it to take care of them in the mean time.

Adventurous · Feb 18, 2016

I've always expressed the desire to be tossed into the woods so my dead body can complete the circle of life. That sounds like it would have legal ramifications however so cremation it is. I should probably have some sort of formalized statement put together, but I don't plan on dying any time soon so I can skate by for a little while.

CrabJoe StretchPants · Feb 18, 2016

Viking. Funeral.

Da Peach · Feb 18, 2016

We just did our wills. (about damned time...)

We are big fans of the DNR. Harvest my organs and pour one out for me.

jonKranked · Feb 18, 2016

Pesqueeb said:
You assume that it hasn't already. It's perfectly possible that JBP is just a form of parasite living off the mustache itself.

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Adventurous · Feb 18, 2016

johnbryanpeters said:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_burial

Neat, thanks for that. Some facts in there (using Wikipedia as my cited source):

"Each year, 22,500 cemeteries across the United States bury approximately:[11]

30 million board feet (70,000 m3) of hardwood caskets
90,272 tons of steel caskets
14,000 tons of steel vaults
2,700 tons of copper and bronze caskets
1,636,000 tons of reinforced concrete vaults
827,060 US gallons (3,130 m3) of embalming fluid, which usually includes formaldehyde.[12]"

That's a shit load of materials being used to bury dead people.

berkshire_rider · Feb 18, 2016

jonKranked said:
when i die don't need a fancy pine box
throw my body in the Buick tune the radio to classic rock

mandown · Feb 18, 2016

Pesqueeb · Feb 18, 2016

berkshire_rider said:

ICEBALL585 · Feb 18, 2016

Freeze my brain then thaw it out when it can successfully be implanted into a robot body.

Muhahahahaha (evil laugh)

Westy · Feb 18, 2016

Adventurous said:
I've always expressed the desire to be tossed into the woods so my dead body can complete the circle of life. That sounds like it would have legal ramifications however so cremation it is. I should probably have some sort of formalized statement put together, but I don't plan on dying any time soon so I can skate by for a little while.

In virginia there are no laws in regards to where you have to bury a body. Not uncommon to see a family graveyard in someones front yard with graves old and fresh. Not sure if you would have to be buried, but if your body was just dumped in the woods you'd be pickin's for turkey vultures and stray dogs.

Westy · Feb 18, 2016

Pesqueeb said:
You assume that it hasn't already. It's perfectly possible that JBP is just a form of parasite living off the mustache itself.

I think it is the other way around, the human form of JBP is the host to the great mustache.

Westy · Feb 18, 2016

johnbryanpeters said:
Which, if one has no objections, would do just fine.

There is a good argument for proper burial only to prevent needless investigations when a Labrador drags your femur back to its family home.

I'd be fine with getting chummed out at sea.

ICEBALL585 · Feb 18, 2016

Mushroom burial suit

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/15/mushroom-death-suit_n_5148802.html

If they can change the type of mushrooms it grows to psychedelic ones then people can literally trip balls off of your balls after you die.

Advance directives for health care

Hero

Al Bundy

bicycle in airplane hangar

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde

the teste

Hero

resident influencer

the teste

Turbo Monkey

Detective Dookie

Joe Dalton

resident influencer

bicycle in airplane hangar

Monkey

the teste

sled dog's bollocks

Hero

Michael Bolton

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde

Detective Dookie

Harbinger of Doom

bicycle in airplane hangar

Turbo Monkey

Starshine Bro

Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick

Outwitted by a rodent

Hero

Detective Dookie

Starshine Bro

Growler

Poopdeck Repost

bicycle in airplane hangar

Bacontard

the teste

the teste

Hero

the teste

Bacontard