Lourdes
- Thread starter schwaaa31
- Start date
perfect timing
never go full enduro
re-cap on the insanity of team_rumours
Gwin- YT
Bruni- Specialized
Bulldog, Sam Dale, Wyn- GT
Athertons- Trek
Brannigan- Commencal
missing some racers im sure
never go full enduro
re-cap on the insanity of team_rumours
Gwin- YT
Bruni- Specialized
Bulldog, Sam Dale, Wyn- GT
Athertons- Trek
Brannigan- Commencal
missing some racers im sure
Last edited:
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG SQUEEEEEEEEE
But seriously, lets be real, that top 5 list is crazy. 3/5 of those riders just switched teams and bikes, and how common is it really for a rider to make a clean transition to a new bike and team on their first race. Particularly to Specialized.
Also, Smith has been injured and slow for the past few years. I don't think he's gonna suddenly pull a 2nd. I'd be excited for him if he gets a top 20.
Lastly, any top 5 list that doesn't include some of the few elite riders who didn't switch team is crazy. Particularly given that they've already been putting up results in the off season (Troy and Ratboy)
In short, you're out of your mind and I hope you get the help you need to get back into a sane frame of mind.
But seriously, lets be real, that top 5 list is crazy. 3/5 of those riders just switched teams and bikes, and how common is it really for a rider to make a clean transition to a new bike and team on their first race. Particularly to Specialized.
Also, Smith has been injured and slow for the past few years. I don't think he's gonna suddenly pull a 2nd. I'd be excited for him if he gets a top 20.
Lastly, any top 5 list that doesn't include some of the few elite riders who didn't switch team is crazy. Particularly given that they've already been putting up results in the off season (Troy and Ratboy)
In short, you're out of your mind and I hope you get the help you need to get back into a sane frame of mind.
BDS 2016
Elite Men
1. Gee Atherton - 02:08,004 - ( New Trek )
2. Innes Graham - 02:08,322 +0:00,318
3. Matthew Simmonds - 02:10,009 +0:02,005
4. Philip Atwill - 02:10,239 +0:02,235 ( New Propain )
5. Marc Beaumont - 02:10,560 +0:02,556 (New Madison Saracen Myst )
yeah if everyone got their setup dialed (which I think) bikes will not make much difference. So I think Gwin, Bruni, Ratboy, Brosnan, Atherton or even Minnaar may be in the top 5...
1. Brosnan
2. Gwin
3. Ratty
4. Bruni
5. Fafferton
2. Gwin
3. Ratty
4. Bruni
5. Fafferton
I'm thinking for the season, it's gonna be a battle royal between Gwin and Bruni all year, barring injuries. Lord Bummer may be back up to speed on the new rig and steal a win along the way. Brosnan always a threat if he can keep it upright. I hope he does. Maybe Hill will stay healthy and mix it up? As for the girls, it's kind of a given that Rachel will walk away with it. Unless Carpenter can kick it up a notch again.
My guesses for Lourdes
Bruni
Gwin
Lord Bummer
Brosnan
Minnar
My guesses for Lourdes
Bruni
Gwin
Lord Bummer
Brosnan
Minnar
Did Ratboy race there?
I'm gonna go with
Lads:
Bruni
Gwin
Hill
Ratboy
Minaar
Wildcard: Hart
Ladies:
Atherton
Seagrave
Carpenter
Hannah
Pompon
Lads:
Bruni
Gwin
Hill
Ratboy
Minaar
Wildcard: Hart
Ladies:
Atherton
Seagrave
Carpenter
Hannah
Pompon
broke her shoulder.. shes out for a while
I wonder if neko will be back in the mix this year? he was so close on trek.
As my wife and I were trying to find the BDS results her stalking suggested ratboy was riding in Portugal. Maybe @jdcamb knows more?
Danny Hart must have crashed looking at his time.
Portugal broke my heart in a cruel and vicious manner. I cannot forgive her. Spain has stepped in and made it easier. But even she has her misgivings...
Can anybody send an alarm beacon as soon as @jackalope gave us his long awaited intro? Yes, please?
Gwin and Bruni are going to be smoke the rest of the field...by a lot
you bringing in reason to this thread? there's the door...
Rob an Claudio gettin' ready... 
http://www.redbull.com/en/bike/stories/1331786525608/claudio-caluori-rob-warner-world-cup-boot-camp-part-1
http://www.redbull.com/en/bike/stories/1331786525608/claudio-caluori-rob-warner-world-cup-boot-camp-part-1
i have my reasons to reason, damnit!
Ahh, it's that wonderful time of year again isn't it? Cool spring breezes, fathers and sons enjoying a day at the park together, the intoxicating waft of shitty hot dogs and even shittier (but laughably expensive) beer, fans getting falling down drunk in the middle of the day, and a renewed hope for all the downtrodden fans of...wait...nevermind, that's the wrong opening day soliloquy...Fuck baseball!
So yeah, hope you enjoyed your brief moment in the sun enduro, because -
That's right, no more fanny packs (well, other than the ones the french spectators have) and no more aggrandizement of talentless hacks like Richie Rude and Martin Maes (both of whom would get destroyed by the vast majority of monkeys on a real DH track like ones in the Santa Barbara area).
Back to the amphibian realm of socialism, overweight men wearing thongs on Mediterranean beaches and phalic shaped loaves of bread which harden into a petrified condition almost overnight. Specifically, back to Lourdes, which of course is located in the Pyrenees of the hexagon that is France.
Lots to cover with new season, new teams, new bikes and custom painted helmets, so let's get to it:
* Lourdes was the birthplace of one time budding pr0n star Staci Lourdes, but sadly her career was overshadowed by the more prominent, if less exotic, Traci Lords.
* As discussed last year, Lourdes also sports a magic jeebus fountain of eternal youth, which is now being considered as an alternative water supply for the unfortunate denizens of Flint, Michigan.
* We can expect to see an overwhelming number of old buildings/structures pix (and associated poetic waxing) from Vital and PB.
* The course was crazy rad last year, and we can expect the same this year I'm sure. There's even a brutal drop near the finish line based on Size's vid, so there will definitely be a lot of sad wheels and bikes ready to be drowned in the magic unicorn fountain come Sunday afternoon.
* If Steve Peat isn't competing in this race, I plan on burning down several orphanages and animal shelters in protest.
* I've been told by my sources that Warner will no longer be offering commentary on specific riders, said rider's race run, or anything really related to the actual race. He will only be discussing the kinematic properties of the given bike on course, as truthfully, that's really what decides the outcome anyway.
* Hopefully Schwalbe has changed the color of the inner Procore tube to black or dark gray so it won't be as obvious if/when it fails.
* The Rock Djinni donkey punched everyone last year on this track, but now that he's got a freeride bike (a German one at that), it's unclear if he'll be able to set his suspension to "levitate" and dominate again.
* Trumbull hucker still sucks because his bike has tiny little bitch wheels. Even Donald Trump's hands think those hoops are small.
After evaluating all of the above, here's the likely podium as I see it -
Franks:
1.) Eddy Merckx - embarrassed and bored with being associated with "Le Tour", the now 70 year old Cannibal get's back on the horse and claims another epic victory for the home team. This time around, Eddy is blasting the cobble stones with an admittedly somewhat dated "pedal - assist" bike -
But in light of his advanced age and the fact UCI rules are only lightly enforced in France, no one protests and big Ed gets to spray the champagne one more time.
2.) Kaiser Donald Drumpf - in a surprise visit to the very home of all that is vile in the world (i.e. socialism), the Prussian magnate makes an absolutely shocking run to the 2nd step of the podium. Sporting a new Wilhelm themed kit (sans the cool moustache since he can't actually grow one)
the Donald brings home 2nd place astride a prototype Nicolai hoverboard. The Krazy Kaiser also babbles on about making the French pay for restoring the Maginot Line, so that...well, that doesn't make any sense, but that's hardly unexpected, ammirite?
3.) Loic Bruni - This guy didn't fall off the legume truck yesterday, so he takes the unusual and preemptive step of riding chainless out of the gate, since we know the damn thing is going to break anyway as a result of the corporate kinematics of Big S bikes. Loic is able to maintain incredible momentum by using the stored energy found in his Demo's asymetrical flex-seat tower technology, which allows him to gain speed when he pumps the backside of undulations as the lumpy seat tower is compressed.
4.) Remy Metailler - Whistler's favorite son returns to home soil and nets an impressive 4th place by simply what-the-fuck-hucking over all the rough sections. Even the Rock Djinni is impressed with his rock-gnar avoidance, and finally all the thousands of hot young women who hang around the DH scene start confusing Remi Thirion for Remy Metailler. Initially, Thirion keeps yelling "sacre bleu" and pointing to all the fancy dataloggers on his shock, but eventually comes to accept his new role and takes full advantage of the presented opportunities.
5.) @mtg - RM's resident "rideable technologies" engineer makes his debut on the '16 WC scene in stunning fashion by grabbing the last podium step. While feeling somewhat guilty for being dishonest with his e-BFF (yours truly) when he said they were not going to sponsor a WC team, he rationalizes it by saying that he wasn't talking about himself in previous conversations. Making the jaunt across the pond in his newly acquired corporate jet, Matt stomps out a fabulous run on a prototype solar assisted, fat tired, 159.5 mm axled, triple short linked DH bike made out of a secret elephant ivory composite. His corruption is now complete.
Buns:
1.) Rach (duh)
2.) Ragot!
3.) Manon
4.) Seagrave
5.) Staci Lourdes
Now it's time to start pregame drinking!
So yeah, hope you enjoyed your brief moment in the sun enduro, because -
That's right, no more fanny packs (well, other than the ones the french spectators have) and no more aggrandizement of talentless hacks like Richie Rude and Martin Maes (both of whom would get destroyed by the vast majority of monkeys on a real DH track like ones in the Santa Barbara area).
Back to the amphibian realm of socialism, overweight men wearing thongs on Mediterranean beaches and phalic shaped loaves of bread which harden into a petrified condition almost overnight. Specifically, back to Lourdes, which of course is located in the Pyrenees of the hexagon that is France.
Lots to cover with new season, new teams, new bikes and custom painted helmets, so let's get to it:
* Lourdes was the birthplace of one time budding pr0n star Staci Lourdes, but sadly her career was overshadowed by the more prominent, if less exotic, Traci Lords.
* As discussed last year, Lourdes also sports a magic jeebus fountain of eternal youth, which is now being considered as an alternative water supply for the unfortunate denizens of Flint, Michigan.
* We can expect to see an overwhelming number of old buildings/structures pix (and associated poetic waxing) from Vital and PB.
* The course was crazy rad last year, and we can expect the same this year I'm sure. There's even a brutal drop near the finish line based on Size's vid, so there will definitely be a lot of sad wheels and bikes ready to be drowned in the magic unicorn fountain come Sunday afternoon.
* If Steve Peat isn't competing in this race, I plan on burning down several orphanages and animal shelters in protest.
* I've been told by my sources that Warner will no longer be offering commentary on specific riders, said rider's race run, or anything really related to the actual race. He will only be discussing the kinematic properties of the given bike on course, as truthfully, that's really what decides the outcome anyway.
* Hopefully Schwalbe has changed the color of the inner Procore tube to black or dark gray so it won't be as obvious if/when it fails.
* The Rock Djinni donkey punched everyone last year on this track, but now that he's got a freeride bike (a German one at that), it's unclear if he'll be able to set his suspension to "levitate" and dominate again.
* Trumbull hucker still sucks because his bike has tiny little bitch wheels. Even Donald Trump's hands think those hoops are small.
After evaluating all of the above, here's the likely podium as I see it -
Franks:
1.) Eddy Merckx - embarrassed and bored with being associated with "Le Tour", the now 70 year old Cannibal get's back on the horse and claims another epic victory for the home team. This time around, Eddy is blasting the cobble stones with an admittedly somewhat dated "pedal - assist" bike -
But in light of his advanced age and the fact UCI rules are only lightly enforced in France, no one protests and big Ed gets to spray the champagne one more time.
2.) Kaiser Donald Drumpf - in a surprise visit to the very home of all that is vile in the world (i.e. socialism), the Prussian magnate makes an absolutely shocking run to the 2nd step of the podium. Sporting a new Wilhelm themed kit (sans the cool moustache since he can't actually grow one)
the Donald brings home 2nd place astride a prototype Nicolai hoverboard. The Krazy Kaiser also babbles on about making the French pay for restoring the Maginot Line, so that...well, that doesn't make any sense, but that's hardly unexpected, ammirite?
3.) Loic Bruni - This guy didn't fall off the legume truck yesterday, so he takes the unusual and preemptive step of riding chainless out of the gate, since we know the damn thing is going to break anyway as a result of the corporate kinematics of Big S bikes. Loic is able to maintain incredible momentum by using the stored energy found in his Demo's asymetrical flex-seat tower technology, which allows him to gain speed when he pumps the backside of undulations as the lumpy seat tower is compressed.
4.) Remy Metailler - Whistler's favorite son returns to home soil and nets an impressive 4th place by simply what-the-fuck-hucking over all the rough sections. Even the Rock Djinni is impressed with his rock-gnar avoidance, and finally all the thousands of hot young women who hang around the DH scene start confusing Remi Thirion for Remy Metailler. Initially, Thirion keeps yelling "sacre bleu" and pointing to all the fancy dataloggers on his shock, but eventually comes to accept his new role and takes full advantage of the presented opportunities.
5.) @mtg - RM's resident "rideable technologies" engineer makes his debut on the '16 WC scene in stunning fashion by grabbing the last podium step. While feeling somewhat guilty for being dishonest with his e-BFF (yours truly) when he said they were not going to sponsor a WC team, he rationalizes it by saying that he wasn't talking about himself in previous conversations. Making the jaunt across the pond in his newly acquired corporate jet, Matt stomps out a fabulous run on a prototype solar assisted, fat tired, 159.5 mm axled, triple short linked DH bike made out of a secret elephant ivory composite. His corruption is now complete.
Buns:
1.) Rach (duh)
2.) Ragot!
3.) Manon
4.) Seagrave
5.) Staci Lourdes
Now it's time to start pregame drinking!
Last edited:
You've been working on that for like an hour haven't you?
Solid.
Solid.
* Hopefully Schwalbe has changed the color of the inner Procore tube to black or dark gray so it won't be as obvious if/when it fails.
Haha. This.
Haha. This.
the remy part fukking killed me 
and leave my wheels alone.. they are sensitive
giddy up
and leave my wheels alone.. they are sensitive
giddy up
I Hope Warner hasn't converted into an enduro trend whore over the winter. If so, he will just talk about water bottles for 2 1/2 fucking hours.
Lol
http://www.vitalmtb.com/photos/features/The-Lourdes-World-Cup-DH-Track-Preview,9986/Teeth,103470/sspomer,2
Hoping that Peat and Ragot make the show.
http://www.vitalmtb.com/photos/features/The-Lourdes-World-Cup-DH-Track-Preview,9986/Teeth,103470/sspomer,2
Hoping that Peat and Ragot make the show.
kinda busy. blue pedals. 
love v10s . . . that scheme gives me an effing headache though. so much graphics.
track looks spot on in those vital photos.
track looks spot on in those vital photos.
Last edited:
Sounds like the Peat will be banging roxxx this weekend with Ratty and Minnaar, albeit in a British team jersey!
Maybe dropmachine can snag it and sell it along side the signed Hill jersey.
Maybe dropmachine can snag it and sell it along side the signed Hill jersey.
Last edited:
It'd look better without the stickers on the wheels. Also orange and red?minnaar's bike. hot or not?
