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2017 offseason guessing game - gossip thread

SylentK

Turbo Monkey
Feb 25, 2004
2,323
867
coloRADo
What about Warner and Redbull and commentating?

If I didn't know any better it was like Claudio and the new little british guy are going to take over and oust Warner.
 

Flo33

Turbo Monkey
Mar 3, 2015
2,065
1,304
Styria
It's official. I understand his reasons actually and it only serves to further convince me that DH should divorce UCI or at least a high profile racer focused secondary series outside UCI would rule.

https://dirtmountainbike.com/news/sam-hill-passion-enduro-moment-bit-hotter-downhill.html
Pah, of course there (sh/c)ould be more races at different venues, but only because he isn't up to todays speed anymore doesn't make endurpo a better discipline. Vallnord and VDS were ace to watch, no, the whole season was. The speed was vigorous and the tracks too. I'm sorry for Sam, but to watch Bruni, Hart, Gwin and the others going at stupendous speed is 100 times better than those lame EWS edits, that remind me too much on my own riding, which sucks.
 

slimshady

¡Mira, una ardilla!
How about creating a hybrid format? Most monkeys complain about enduro being too boring to watch. Most DH riders -and monkeys equally- complain about the season being too short. Let's try a new race format, two races back to back in the same weekend, no track walk, no timed training. Just show there at the right time on Saturday with your big bike, drop down the course, give your best effort, and repeat on Sunday.

They could even get away with just changing a segment of the course, not the whole one.

I mean, our local EWS stop at Cerro Catedral used the five DH tracks available. They just took off the wood jumps and skinnies. And it's not the first time It happened in the season. Enduro has been labeled unsafe for this very reason (doing DH worthy tracks on less capable bikes, with fewer protections on and at Mach stupid speeds).

C'mon, let's make DOWNDURO happen!
 
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maxyedor

<b>TOOL PRO</b>
Oct 20, 2005
5,496
3,141
In the bathroom, fighting a battle
How about we just let EWS manage WC DH? If we changed the colors of the rainbow strips I think they mite even be able to get away with it sans UCI. If nothing else EWS manages to put more than two and a half races on a season's calendar.
 

4130biker

PM me about Tantrum Cycles!
May 24, 2007
3,884
449
How about we just let EWS manage WC DH? If we changed the colors of the rainbow strips I think they mite even be able to get away with it sans UCI. If nothing else EWS manages to put more than two and a half races on a season's calendar.
DWS FTW!
 

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,606
5,917
in a single wide, cooking meth...
This! Here's the way forward:

1. We (you, me and maybe mmike) establish the DWS using said EWS model. We'll even give free coozys to PB and Vital photogs to ensure 3 articles/day and dozens of pics of roost clouds and obligatory sun rays peaking through. Ya know, real artistic and shit. It's all about composition.

2. Have a design "contest" for stoned PB posters to create a logo for us. Quite frankly, the EWS logo kinda sucks. Or maybe just full kidwoo and use the Intense head tube badge but with the obvious addition of titz.

3. Boobs...even "seasoned" Marzocchi boobs will be acceptable. Look, I'm married with a 6 year old.. I have a pretty low bar.

4. ???

5. Profit...no wait...too soon. Skip to number 6.

6. Use mmike's immense wealth to get things up and running by hiring (drunk) Warner and Peaty to commentate and restart Freecaster TV. Also bring in Udi to provide pedantic kinematic analysis of all the bikes.

7. Acquire sponsorz. Specifically, the big oil companies since their products are now ubiquitous in modern frame construction. Make a bamboo bike with hemp reinforced tube junctions for Ratboy.

8. Create, brand and sell bourbon infused hot sauce. Now DWS fans can get loaded whilst enjoying their respective meat/chili/nacho/hash brown concoctions.

9. Boobs

10. Moar boobs?

11. Now that we're pretty well established, we can start charging exorbitant fees to would-be host venues.

12. Get obscenely fat and develop our own boobs. Basically morph into a Greek oil tycoon. We will eventually need a lot of gold chains to intermingle with our greasy chest hair garden.

13. Sell DWS to whoever the hell bought Ellsworth and buy our way onto FIFA or IOC boards.

14. No question marks here. Now we just screw 3rd world countries, accept massive bribes and circumvent tax laws as much as possible.

15. Celebrate mmike's birthday everyday.


I think that seems simple enough. Check your PMs.
 
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4130biker

PM me about Tantrum Cycles!
May 24, 2007
3,884
449
This! Here's the way forward:

1. We (you, me and maybe mmike) establish the DWS using said EWS model. We'll even give free coozys to PB and Vital photogs to ensure 3 articles/day and dozens of pics of roost clouds and obligatory sun rays peaking through. Ya know, real artistic and shit. It's all about composition.

2. Have a design "contest" for stoned PB posters to create a logo for us. Quite frankly, the EWS logo kinda sucks. Or maybe just full kidwoo and use the Intense head tube badge but with the obvious addition of titz.

3. Boobs...even "seasoned" Marzocchi boobs will be acceptable. Look, I'm married with a 6 year old.. I have a pretty low bar.

4. ???

5. Profit...no wait...too soon. Skip to number 6.

6. Use mmike's immense wealth to get things up and running by hiring (drunk) Warner and Peaty to commentate and restart Freecaster TV. Also bring in Udi to provide pedantic kinematic analysis of all the bikes.

7. Acquire sponsorz. Specifically, the big oil companies since their products are now ubiquitous in modern frame construction. Make a bamboo bike with hemp reinforced tube junctions for Ratboy.

8. Create, brand and sell bourbon infused hot sauce. Now DWS fans can get loaded whilst enjoying their respective meat/chili/nacho/hash brown concoctions.

9. Boobs

10. Moar boobs?

11. Now that we're pretty well established, we can start charging exorbitant fees to would-be host venues.

12. Get obscenely fat and develop our own boobs. Basically morph into a Greek oil tycoon. We will eventually need a lot of gold chains to intermingle with our greasy chest hair garden.

13. Sell DWS to whoever the hell bought Ellsworth and buy our way onto FIFA or IOC boards.

14. No question marks here. Now we just screw 3rd world countries, accept massive bribes and circumvent tax laws as much as possible.

15. Celebrate mmike's birthday everyday.


I think that seems simple enough. Check your PMs.
Count me in. It is literally impossible to go wrong here.

Spectacular business plan, but one possible oversight: Wet t-shirt contest in a Rootbeer filled swimming pool for the finish line of every race. The only concern here is finish line KO's, but I'm workshopping that as we speak.