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2017 offseason guessing game - gossip thread

Sep 11, 2015
332
118
"With shore on the horizon a new vision appeared,
Built with wood working tools from Merthyr,
and able to withstand chemical 86"

Is that Manon Carpenter to Radon?

"A blue oval, roaring like the hounds of hell,
A bull upon its crown and a new fire burning"

Gee doing more rally racing. Pretty sure he drives a Ford.
 

William42

fork ways
Jul 31, 2007
3,916
651
I know everybody always gets excited about Rude returning to DH, but think of it this way: If a midpack DH guy switches to Enduro, they're top 10. If a top enduroer switches to DH, they might not necessarily be #1.

Why would he give up a fantastic budding career in what is unfortunately probably the future of mountain bike racing to go have a significantly higher risk of injury and ending a career short by racing DH?
 

Fool

The Thing cannot be described
Sep 10, 2001
2,779
1,493
Brooklyn
"...And into a billowing cloud of the dankest weed smoke,
A marble-mouthed jester doth ride.
The serfs in the regal Land of Internet thought it a joke,
That to World Cups this rat no longer is willing to fly."

Danny Hart???
 

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,606
5,917
in a single wide, cooking meth...
i, for one, am anxiously awaiting @jackalope's sage interpretation

[sigh]

C'mon guys...I'm disappointed this is still so difficult for you. It's pretty damn easy to interpret if you stop and think about it:

Once upon time, a boat was sent,
To the south it sailed,
Many sights it saw,
^^
A direct analogy between Ratboy's boat and the Ark. It's a well accepted fact that Jeebus is a raging, bong huffing hippie, and thus has bestowed a holy marine vessel upon his favorite bong bro. And it sailed south? Well no shit, where the hell else do you sail from the UK? The French Riviera certainly isn't north of Liverpool now is it?

A Trojan horse crossing chasms both far and wide,
^^
A thinly veiled sexual metaphor, which includes a condom, which unfortunately breaks upon breaching the defensive curtains.

In it was stowed a Scotsman,
^^
Apparently @Gary is somehow involved, as per the usual. Hardly surprising if you consider that he likes nano-wheels and Ratboy was the last one to win on said tiny hoops.


With shore on the horizon a new vision appeared,
^^
Yeah, it's called a legit beach, replete with hot French girls and overweight, old guys in speedos

Built with wood working tools from Merthyr,
and able to withstand chemical 86,
A sight of beauty,
^^
Sounds like Ratboy is going to ride a bamboo frame and reduce his crabon footprint. It will also have strategically placed vent holes so it can double as a sweet bong.

a melting of cultures were seen,
^^
Also sounds like Gary brought some acid.


Haggis, Croissants, Sushi and Kumara,
^^
Yep, this is the sort of smorgasborg you eat when you're blasted at 3:30 AM

The seas flattened,
^^
I should hope that's the case when you're docked in Marseille

Dogs took their last supper on alpine heights,
^^
Moar Biblical/acid crap



The air was still, but the storm passed by,
Broken suddenly,
^^
Otherwise known as a "fart"

A blue oval, roaring like the hounds of hell,
^^
Rental Ford Mustang...destroyed

A bull upon its crown and a new fire burning,
^^
Redbull mixed with 151 rum, which you light before consuming. Commonly known as a Burning Bull.


After sound came sight,
and smell
^^
Acid is finally wearing off.


A rich mix, departing into the distance and out of our beams,
^^
2 stroke moto, kicking the fuck out of an e-bike/moped.


There we sat, longing , dreaming
^^
Meh, the new fuel injected 4 strokers really are better than the old 2 smokes.


50 stars we saw floating over,
^^
Someone is waking up from a bender under an American flag


a vision of valleys in a princes kingdom,
^^
Valleys = Andorra
Prince = CG (which also explains the benders)


with that we slept,
knowing,
waiting,
that one day soon,
a winning yeti we could come forth,
^^
A little confusing here, but I'm pretty sure this just means Yeti (coolers) is going to finally make a really nice and very expensive stainless steel bong.

and join
the purest church of all.
^^
Hail Satan
 
Last edited:

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,883
24,463
media blackout
"...And into a billowing cloud of the dankest weed smoke,
A marble-mouthed jester doth ride.
The serfs in the regal Land of Internet thought it a joke,
That to World Cups this rat no longer is willing to fly."

Danny Hart???
that's pretty much a dead giveaway for ratty
 

atrokz

Turbo Monkey
Mar 14, 2002
1,552
77
teedotohdot
So, does ratboy think the planes won't fly without him? that the Circus won't travel without him? His decision, as noble as it may seem, affects nothing in the environment.
 

Fool

The Thing cannot be described
Sep 10, 2001
2,779
1,493
Brooklyn
Screen Shot 2016-11-04 at 10.20.40 AM.png


Polygon and/or a Neethling or Neethlings lookin' for work? Speculate and gesticulate wildly.
 

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,067
5,976
borcester rhymes
hello, my name is sandwich, and I just sanitized this thread.

i've reopened it, and you are free to comment.

any further form of sexual harassment in this thread will be met with a one week ban. no questions.

you are free to go off topic and discuss the newest wheelsize.
 

jstuhlman

bagpipe wanker
Dec 3, 2009
16,681
13,025
Cackalacka du Nord
dammit man. i'm not going to go into my complicated maths in detail AGAIN, but the next wheelsize is 13.75 - you heard it here first.

carry on discussing ratboy's future as a floating herb farmer, or whatever...
 

'size

Turbo Monkey
May 30, 2007
2,000
338
AZ
So, does ratboy think the planes won't fly without him? that the Circus won't travel without him? His decision, as noble as it may seem, affects nothing in the environment.
i'm sure he does and possibly he doesn't want to be a part of it or feels like he'd rather not be contributing to the situation.
 

trib

not worthy of a Rux.
Jun 22, 2009
1,478
421
I can understand Ratboys decision. If you disagree with something you're free to opt out of doing it as a statement, even if that activity still continues it's a moral standpoint.

Much like the 'one less car' stickers you see on bikes, no one at Ford is going "hold production, 4 more stickers were bought today, we need to scrap 4 cars". The planes will still fly and the races will still be held, but Bryce can relax in his houseboat, in a cloud of smoke and know that he's no longer part of the cycle.

Whether he's aware of his boat and moto emissions and will be retiring to a cave to ride locally handmade steel singlespeeds is yet to be seen.
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,883
24,463
media blackout
I know everybody always gets excited about Rude returning to DH, but think of it this way: If a midpack DH guy switches to Enduro, they're top 10. If a top enduroer switches to DH, they might not necessarily be #1.

Why would he give up a fantastic budding career in what is unfortunately probably the future of mountain bike racing to go have a significantly higher risk of injury and ending a career short by racing DH?
while certainly a valid point, don't forget that rude was jr world champ at DH prior to making the switch to enduro.
 

SuboptimusPrime

Turbo Monkey
Aug 18, 2005
1,659
1,636
NorCack
Fair point, but the transition from Junior World Champ to top tier Elite is not at all assured, in fact I think most have not met "expectations" in elites.
 

epic

Turbo Monkey
Sep 15, 2008
1,041
21
Fair point, but the transition from Junior World Champ to top tier Elite is not at all assured, in fact I think most have not met "expectations" in elites.
My Google-Fu has failed me in trying to find a list of Junior World Champs winners, but... Troy Brosnan, Loic Bruni, Loris Vergier, Danny Hart, Josh Bryceland, Nico Vouilloz... seems like pretty good stock to me.
 

SuboptimusPrime

Turbo Monkey
Aug 18, 2005
1,659
1,636
NorCack
Don't care to argue but I think it all depends on how you define "top tier" and "expectations". Sure the majority of former junior champs did OK in Elites at least for a couple years, but a bunch more than 4 of those guys failed to have a long term, lucrative career at the very top end of the WC circuit. To my point, by my (likely not fully accurate) count, only 6 of the 26 guys on that list ever went on to win an elite WC or overall title.
 

trib

not worthy of a Rux.
Jun 22, 2009
1,478
421
And none of those juniors left DH for 3(?) years to race enduro before coming back to rejoin the DH field at the most competitive it's ever been.

I'm sure Rude could be a threat, but Graves was destroying everyone at enduros then only placed moderately at the WC he came back for.