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Awkward thanksgiving moments

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,572
24,186
media blackout
My thanksgiving this year consisted of: meatloaf and potato hash with fried eggs for breakfast, then a bike ride followed up with a heady topper, then more beer, just smoked half a blunt and making carne asada to dinner. No family but the wife.
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
40,494
9,524
felt a bout of oncoming gastric distress.....and still being somewhat congested started coughing.....after about three or four good coughs.......my bowels let go a warning shot.... a wet one that i thought for sure was going to leave a mark in my shorts.....made it to the bathroom....disaster averted.
 

Toshi

Harbinger of Doom
Oct 23, 2001
38,032
7,553
We outsourced Thanksgiving cooking to Whole Foods this year. Probably cost me $100 extra over ingredients, but probably worth it for happier pregnant wife. Sister's family and my mom are headed over, and my wife's younger brother plus his ex-girlfriend's dog (! Whipped?) are also in attendance.
 

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
19,799
8,383
Nowhere Man!
I am happy to report no instances of violence took place. Everyone stopped by and offered their respects to me. I tolerated them for a few minutes then dispatched their drunk asses to places other then where I was at that time. Quite proud how everyone behaved. I had the last shrimp. One of the kids had the last crescent roll. When I find out who it was they will be punished at Christmas time. I also made everyone root for the Eagles because they at least they have a chance to win something and well I could. I am buying everyone Eagles Jerseys for Christmas it has just been decided.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,430
1,949
Front Range, dude...
I'm on the road and staying in a hotel - yesterday I intended to get food from the grocery store but noticed the Quiznos next door was open and very busy. I thought I scored until I was 20 feet in the door and was told they where closed for a private party...
Missed this one...but who the hell has a private party at a Quiznos? Classy...
 

jstuhlman

bagpipe wanker
Dec 3, 2009
16,625
12,917
Cackalacka du Nord
mil's boyfriend isn't coming to turkey day at bil's house - all tacitly acknowledge that this is for the best. he was in rare drunken form last nite tho. had to not take the bait multiple times. dude just wants to argue (loudly) about literally anything. what a prick...
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,430
1,949
Front Range, dude...
Going to a friends house with his weird MIL and 400 odd lb BIL in attendance. His wife is an awesome, adventurous cook, but this is the first time we have mixed the families en masse. Should be interessant...
 

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
19,799
8,383
Nowhere Man!
After taking the year off. I had my annual Skidfuck Thanksgiving. Anyone that doesn't have anywhere to go is welcome. I made a big ass Butterball turkey, Cornbread stuffing, Sweet Corn. The Gravy came out good thanks to the sherry I used to finish the pan. I didn't burn the rolls. None of the Jailbirds took their pants off or got to drunk and started a fight. I still have beer and wine left. Nobody smoked all my weed. All in all it was good.
 

StiHacka

Compensating for something
Jan 4, 2013
21,560
12,504
In hell. Welcome!
Wife and I excused ourselves from the TG festivities and we cooked some ole good heavy Czech food instead.
Ironically, Thanksgiving is the loneliest day of the whole year for us (and many other immigrants without families here).
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,572
24,186
media blackout
My thanksgiving this year consisted of: meatloaf and potato hash with fried eggs for breakfast, then a bike ride followed up with a heady topper, then more beer, just smoked half a blunt and making carne asada to dinner. No family but the wife.
This was probably my ultimate Thanksgiving. Have yet to top it.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
54,235
20,019
Sleazattle
Wife and I excused ourselves from the TG festivities and we cooked some ole good heavy Czech food instead.
Ironically, Thanksgiving is the loneliest day of the whole year for us (and many other immigrants without families here).

Well, this is awkward.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,430
1,949
Front Range, dude...
Wife and I excused ourselves from the TG festivities and we cooked some ole good heavy Czech food instead.
Ironically, Thanksgiving is the loneliest day of the whole year for us (and many other immigrants without families here).
You arent missing much. A holiday built around sloth and overindulgence, based upon the historical theft of an entire continent from the very people who saved the thieves lives by introducing them to a crop that has little nutritional value. All in preparation for a disgusting display of crass consumerism the next day.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
54,235
20,019
Sleazattle
Spent TG at a good friends. I get along well with his wife but she comes from the wrong side of the tracks and has some pretty sketchy ass friends. Was planning on spending the weekend there until I heard that buddies wife's friend was coming over to watch some football game. Long story short, pretty sure this 'friend' tried to rob me during their wedding weekend and I wasn't sure I could refrain from accidentally severing her spine with a meat cleaver. Had to awkwardly make an excuse to GTFO
 

ICEBALL585

Bacontard
Sep 8, 2009
6,803
2,041
.:585:.
Am I the only one that actually likes my in-laws?
I don't mind my in-laws either. My MIL is a little hyper at times but means well. When we visit my wife's family I usually spend a decent amount of time causing shenanigans and tossing back drinks with my wife's cousins & BIL.
 

slyfink

Turbo Monkey
Sep 16, 2008
9,289
5,029
Ottawa, Canada
no no no... this thread is supposed to be about awkward thanksgiving moments, not about how great life is. please take your love-in somewhere else. I came here to be entertained.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
40,942
13,135
Portland, OR
This year it was just my oldest sister with her sugar daddy and her 4 older kids, my next to oldest sister by herself (her husband and my oldest sister don't get along), the wife and moms. My sisters oldest son (32) has just gotten more than a little weird. His latest thing is he wears fingerless gloves. At moms birthday a few months ago he was wearing some weightlifting gloves, TG he was wearing some knit ones.

Ok, you want to wear gloves while eating dinner. Ok, sure. But then to see him go in and come out of the bathroom after obviously not washing your hands (because knit gloves). Ew, just ew. Seriously, the kid has issues. I was told that nobody has seen him without gloves on for at least a year. What the sh!t people.

Also, it seems he is crushing in debate at school. He's a 32 year old freshman at the community college my sister teaches at. So a 32 year old can out debate a community college 19 year old? Bravo. You and your gloves are obviously winning at life.
 

eaterofdog

ass grabber
Sep 8, 2006
8,189
1,431
Central Florida
Ok, you want to wear gloves while eating dinner. Ok, sure. But then to see him go in and come out of the bathroom after obviously not washing your hands (because knit gloves). Ew, just ew. Seriously, the kid has issues. I was told that nobody has seen him without gloves on for at least a year. What the sh!t people.
This is some Warren-From-Something-About-Mary level shit.

No incidents to report on my end.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
40,942
13,135
Portland, OR
This is some Warren-From-Something-About-Mary level shit.

No incidents to report on my end.
He fits the profile of a school shooting style domestic terrorist. He was actually arrested in high school when someone overheard him talking about shooting up his school. Leather outback/cowboy style hat, ponytail, duster, hiking boots.

<edit> And now fingerless gloves. :rofl:
 

canadmos

Cake Tease
May 29, 2011
20,192
19,158
Canaderp
Maybe not awkward, but dumb. I missed out on my family Thanksgiving shindig this year, as they only sent out the invitation on Facebook, which I don't use. My dad didn't even send a text or anything telling me.

Oh well, if I recall correctly, we had an awesome bike ride that day.
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
40,494
9,524
oldest nephew had cranberry sauce put on plate...saw him mouth the words what the fuck....had to laugh....
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,572
24,186
media blackout
Went out to eat at the local country club. Kids were acceptable.

The real kicker was this fat lady who had a plate with nothing but a mountain of stuffing and gravy.