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Lenzerheide DH World Cup 2017

William42

fork ways
Jul 31, 2007
3,908
634
Fact: knee pads that just wrap around your knee are either extremely uncomfortably tight and limit mobility and rarely move, or they're comfortable and sometimes just the wrong hit will knock them askew. Buy full length shins with plastic and straps if you want something more stable. Doesn't matter if you're wearing alpinestars, 661, fox, whatever, they'll all move if you've just got a neoprene wrap and its a softshell pad and you hit it the wrong way.

Moving on from that

Predictions:

Gwin. Obviously. The dude loves loose dry dusty rocky kitty litter tracks, going fast and and letting the bike do its thing, and this is probably the closest trail on the WC all year to socal.

Everybody else, 2.5+ seconds back.
 

slyfink

Turbo Monkey
Sep 16, 2008
9,288
5,028
Ottawa, Canada
Wyn, Sam Dale, and Fairclough not in the top 80. I don't think they are protected... Fearon and Brook DNFd... are they protected?

Mark Wallace is having a great season it seems.

Still no word on why Matt Walker (the Jr.) DNS?
 

schwaaa31

Turbo Monkey
Jul 30, 2002
1,431
1,018
Clinton Massachusetts
Wyn, Sam Dale, and Fairclough not in the top 80. I don't think they are protected... Fearon and Brook DNFd... are they protected?

Mark Wallace is having a great season it seems.

Still no word on why Matt Walker (the Jr.) DNS?
Just Brook and Fearon are protected according to Vital. Fearon just rolled out of the gate and pulled off track to give his hand more time to heal. Not sure on Bulldog.
 

Gary

"S" is for "neo-luddite"
Aug 27, 2002
7,536
5,470
UK
if a roadie can just drop in and win the MTB race at the olympics, then it wasn't a mtb race.

Pssstt... You are aware Sagan. Previous to his highly successful professional road cycling career was a Jnr mtb World Champ?


Ps. How far can you wheelie one/no handed?

:secret:
 

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,596
5,894
in a single wide, cooking meth...
So this fucking happened...


Thanks Vlad :rant: On the plus side, it sounds like I might be getting my master bathroom remodeled for just my $1K deductible, so hopefully I will be pooping in a sparkling new throne in a few short weeks.

But enough about leaky shower pans and water damage, we're back to F=Gm1m2/r2 infused bike rallying!

* Since this track isn't Schladming, the average sport class porker could smash the piss out of this boring bike park highway.

* To answer Wyn's question, the holes in swiss cheese were developed to store weed in. It was like the OG swat box. #weedcheese

* PB seems to enjoy showing us pictures of shirtless WC bros prancing about in the lake at the bottom of the track, yet I do not recall seeing the WC ladies in a similar state of repose. This is most vexing...

* Since Greg and Luca are still banging around on wagon wheels: 29ers ain't dead!!! But the corporate lizard lords will be sending out a lot of sternly written (OK, poorly scrawled) letters to various team managers. They are most vexed.

* I actually have a Rolex...like my master bathroom shower at the moment, it doesn't work.

* Unfortunately for Keegan Wright, he kinda got the whole steinstossen (i.e. stone put) thing backwards.

* Ricola cough drops are made from "natural Swiss herbs"....Umm, yeah, and this thing isn't a giant weed pipe


So after using advanced analytics on all the above data points, here's what the crystal meth ball is telling me:

1.) Kim Jong Un - So where is the best place to be in case your country gets glassed by a neurotic cheese puff? That's right, in the land of neutrality and your former stomping grounds as a young despot in training. While Kimbo certainly knows his way around a bike being from a country that has 4 functioning cars, he opts for a new approach to downhill domination, which is a limited edition downhill walrus

Greasing up the beast's undercarriage with a secret blend of Maxima fork oil and PF Changs deep fat fryer oil, Kimbo puts the "pin" in pinniped and slides through the finish line with a startling sub-2 minute time - proving once and for all, North Korea is best Korea.


2. Peter Sagan - I mean c'mon, this was too easy. So after getting tossed off the dope tour for 4X'ing his fellow spandexicans, Pete decides to jump back to his roots as a dominant mountain biker. But even with his immense innate mountain biking talents, this is a tall order given the short notice, so Pete builds a special race bike, using space age technology gleaned from growing up as Carl Sagan's son.


Needless to say, Commencal is none to pleased about the model name.

3.) Gee Atherton - While it's true that Gee has recently been breaking bones even more frequently than crab0n Trek Sessions(which is saying something quite frankly), the G-man grits this one out and lands on the 3rd podium step. But rather than running the risk of a sun baked Session crumbling beneath him, Gee opts to go with a decidedly more sturdy and comfortable attack wagon, which is especially important given his recent pelvic injury -

And yes, that's another podium spot for 26" wheel bitches!

4.) @profro - Well if a former XC racer can elbow his way to the podium, why can't an active XC racer muscle his way up there as well? After jettisoning his DH glory many, many years ago, our spunky Windrockian steps back into the starting gate and fires off a burner race run. A burner you say? Yep, that's because he's burning fossil fuels on his prototype 29er KTM 250cc MX bike. All that bad ass roll over magic of big hoops, but combined with the smooth power delivery of a 4 stroker. While not exactly complying with UCI regulations, at least its not a (fucking) e-bike.

5.) Noel Niederburger - I'm running on bong shed fumes at this point, and this guy is Swiss and it's fun to say his last name. Speaking of which, I do need a burger right now :drool:



Swiss Miss's

1.) Rach - amaze ovaries
2.) Pom Pom - Maybe consider going back the 26s (or "Twenty Sexers" as kidwoo likes to say)?
3.) Trace - just keep going after your run and head to lake....XOXOXOXOXOXO
4.) Emilie Sledgehammer - hometown hero!
5.) Tahnee - pretty impressive gun show there


Alright, getting fired up for to watch the action with the kiddos at @SuboptimusPrime 's place tomorrow morning!

 
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Sandro

Terrified of Cucumbers
Nov 12, 2006
3,224
2,537
The old world
Finn Iles continues to crush it in the Juniors, winning his fourth race of the season.

I also wanted you all to know that Tahnee Seagrave has a younger brother named Kaos (7th place).
 

aaronjb

Turbo Monkey
Jul 22, 2010
1,105
659
My bad. I forgot it was regional.

Neko said he was riding with the same setup all the way through qualies.
 

aaronjb

Turbo Monkey
Jul 22, 2010
1,105
659
UCI race, so UCI is enforcing the rules, right? (Even the local rules)
 
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EVIL JN

Monkey
Jul 24, 2009
491
24
Sure unnecessary by the commissary to pull Mullaly but he knew he needed back protection and a serial box taped to your is not a back protector in any reasonable persons mind. So just suck it up and get a normal one and modd it down as much you can but for f*ck sake dont whine when you get caught not following the "obvious" meaning of the rule.

The actual rule though is bs and whine worthy but getting pulled from not following it is not.
 

EVIL JN

Monkey
Jul 24, 2009
491
24
man Gwin can race a bike like no other! Stiched up knee and still just crushes on such a tight track (time wise). Sucked he just got a little unlucky.