i just worry about your head popping...Not the issue, actually. Those are easy conversations. "Think we're not doing well enough? Okay, I've taken you from our service. You now have 100% control of your account. Anything else I can help with?"
It's amazing how people's tune changes when you tell them that they are in charge of their own investments, since we clearly don't know what we are doing. My favorite is when I do that and people flip out that they don't know what to invest in. If you don't know what you're doing, how do you know what I am doing is incorrect?
There are so many facepalm's in this job that it's just amazing.