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1st Conversation of the Morning!

stinkyboy

Plastic Santa
Jan 6, 2005
15,192
0
¡Phoenix!
Me: "Hey (Idiot coworker), I need those files for the (idiot client) you did yesterday"

IC: "The files that I did?"

Me: "For the project you helped with."

IC: "The files that I did?"

Me: "Yes, I'm going to burn an offsite backup, it hasn't been done in awhile."

IC: "You want all of the files?"

Me: "No, just give me some of the documents and maybe just half the fonts and images."

IC: "You only want some of the files?"

Me: "Yeah, that way if we need the backups, they will be incomplete and a huge pain."

IC: "That seems strange."

Me: (Sitting at my desk with my face in my hands for about 30 seconds until I hear IC wander off).

It's gonna be a long day...
 

N8 v2.0

Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Oct 18, 2002
11,007
149
The Cleft of Venus
stinkyboy said:
Me: "Hey (Idiot coworker), I need those files for the (idiot client) you did yesterday"

IC: "The files that I did?"

Me: "For the project you helped with."

IC: "The files that I did?"

Me: "Yes, I'm going to burn an offsite backup, it hasn't been done in awhile."

IC: "You want all of the files?"

Me: "No, just give me some of the documents and maybe just half the fonts and images."

IC: "You only want some of the files?"

Me: "Yeah, that way if we need the backups, they will be incomplete and a huge pain."

IC: "That seems strange."

Me: (Sitting at my desk with my face in my hands for about 30 seconds until I hear IC wander off).

It's gonna be a long day...
Suxorz 2 B U!
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Don't feel so bad...I deal with idiots all day...here is a prime example:

Me: (insert city name here) trees and landscaping

idiot resident: uhhhhhh....ummmmmm.....YYYYYYYYYESSSS...I'm a resident....of uhhhhh the city of (insert city name all dragged out lllllloooonnng) and uhhhh I ummmmmm have a uhhhh....city owned tree in front of my house in the parkway...(mind you this is only IF...IF they can speak English)

me: ok...what can I help you with...

idiot resident: well...the tree is ummmm grossly overgrown...and ummmm...uhhhh....I think it needs to be trimmed back...it's very dangerous...elderly people walk there and children play there...

At the end of these calls my co-workers are treated to a string of obscenities from me...I'm surprised I don't have bare spots on the sides of my head from pulling my hayer out.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
38,162
4,954
Sleazattle
dh girlie said:
Don't feel so bad...I deal with idiots all day...here is a prime example:

Me: (insert city name here) trees and landscaping

idiot resident: uhhhhhh....ummmmmm.....YYYYYYYYYESSSS...I'm a resident....of uhhhhh the city of (insert city name all dragged out lllllloooonnng) and uhhhh I ummmmmm have a uhhhh....city owned tree in front of my house in the parkway...(mind you this is only IF...IF they can speak English)

me: ok...what can I help you with...

idiot resident: well...the tree is ummmm grossly overgrown...and ummmm...uhhhh....I think it needs to be trimmed back...it's very dangerous...elderly people walk there and children play there...

At the end of these calls my co-workers are treated to a string of obscenities from me...I'm surprised I don't have bare spots on the sides of my head from pulling my hayer out.
So the bald spots on the side of your head is from people using your ponytails as reigns?
 

stinkyboy

Plastic Santa
Jan 6, 2005
15,192
0
¡Phoenix!
dh girlie said:
Don't feel so bad...I deal with idiots all day...here is a prime example:

Me: (insert city name here) trees and landscaping

idiot resident: uhhhhhh....ummmmmm.....YYYYYYYYYESSSS...I'm a resident....of uhhhhh the city of (insert city name all dragged out lllllloooonnng) and uhhhh I ummmmmm have a uhhhh....city owned tree in front of my house in the parkway...(mind you this is only IF...IF they can speak English)

me: ok...what can I help you with...

idiot resident: well...the tree is ummmm grossly overgrown...and ummmm...uhhhh....I think it needs to be trimmed back...it's very dangerous...elderly people walk there and children play there...

At the end of these calls my co-workers are treated to a string of obscenities from me...I'm surprised I don't have bare spots on the sides of my head from pulling my hayer out.
All that, just to say "hayer".
;)
 

Tenchiro

Attention K Mart Shoppers
Jul 19, 2002
5,407
0
New England
At least you don't deal with nurses and computers all day...

I swear to god, there is some correlation between healthcare and computer illiteracy. I am not sure what it is, but alot of these people have absolutley no concept of even teh basic workings of a computer. To the point where I have spent 10 minutes with one person tyring to get her to hit the power button on the PC while she continually hits the button on the monitor.
 

berkshire_rider

Growler
Feb 5, 2003
2,557
10
The Blackstone Valley
Tenchiro said:
At least you don't deal with nurses and computers all day...

I swear to god, there is some correlation between healthcare and computer illiteracy. I am not sure what it is, but alot of these people have absolutley no concept of even teh basic workings of a computer. To the point where I have spent 10 minutes with one person tyring to get her to hit the power button on the PC while she continually hits the button on the monitor.
:stupid:

He speaks the truth. Sometimes I just have to take a walk after talking to some of these people. It's scary that we are trusting our PHI to them. :dead:
 

Andy_B

Monkey
Jul 21, 2004
679
0
whereabouts unknown
My day started like this. As my boss is outside smoking.

1.Its 8.34 your late
2. My watch says 8.30 (i show him watch)
1. I set mine to my TV.
2. Mine matchs my cell phone
1.Hmmm...
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,844
11
So Cal
Tenchiro said:
At least you don't deal with nurses and computers all day...

I swear to god, there is some correlation between healthcare and computer illiteracy. I am not sure what it is, but alot of these people have absolutley no concept of even teh basic workings of a computer. To the point where I have spent 10 minutes with one person tyring to get her to hit the power button on the PC while she continually hits the button on the monitor.
Oh no! you do what I do! I feel very very sory for you. I have to deal with docs, nurses and assorted admin people and computers. And EVERYONE thinks they are soooooo important. And most of them are whining because they can't get to their Yahoo mail. Effing morons... that's why I have now disabled their external internet use. Inside only, beeotch!! Muahahahahaha!

Where do you work? I work for Kaiser Permanente... NEVER work for Kaiser.
 

Tenchiro

Attention K Mart Shoppers
Jul 19, 2002
5,407
0
New England
Ciaran said:
Oh no! you do what I do! I feel very very sory for you. I have to deal with docs, nurses and assorted admin people and computers. And EVERYONE thinks they are soooooo important. And most of them are whining because they can't get to their Yahoo mail. Effing morons... that's why I have now disabled their external internet use. Inside only, beeotch!! Muahahahahaha!

Where do you work? I work for Kaiser Permanente... NEVER work for Kaiser.
Swedish Hospital in Seattle.
 

kinghami3

Future Turbo Monkey
Jun 1, 2004
2,240
0
Ballard 4 life.
Oh god, I'm the Volunteer Coordinator for a non-profit, and I get some of the worst calls ever.
Student (15-17 yrs. old): "Can I volunteer?"
Me: "Sure thing, is there anything that you would like to help out with?"
Student: "The thing with the Seahawks."
Me: "Do you mean the Seahawks Blue Ribbon Program Sales Event?"
Student: "Yeah."
Me: "Great, I will sine you up. Can I have you name, address, and phone number so I can send you a packet with more information?"
Student: "My name is Tychzialisak Vorspzties." (or something like that)
Me: "Can you spell that?"
(student spells out name and gives address)
Student: "Is there anywhere else that I can help out?"
Me: "Yep, I think we have room available in our warehouse as a Volunteer Warehouse Assistant. Does that sound interesting to you?"
Student: "Is it paid?"
Me: "It's a volunteer position, volunteers don't get paid. Unless you are a college student with Work Study or hired as an administrative employee, there are no paid positions."
Student: "Can you hire me?"
Me: "No. Thanks for signing up to volunteer at the game, and I will send out a packet in a couple weeks."

I get three calls nearly identical to this in a row, the problem is I have to be gracious cause I'm working with volunteers.
 

Reactor

Turbo Monkey
Apr 5, 2005
3,978
1
Chandler, AZ, USA
You should try working with people in the law enforcement arena...

LC: I lost a file.
Me: O.K.......
LC: I need it back.
Me: O.K.......
LC: On the computer.
Me: O.K..where was it?
LC: I'm not sure, maybe it was in my home directory, or the shared area or maybe I saved it on my computer.
Me: Well.... what was it called?
LC: I don't remember....
Me: What was the case number?
LC: I'm not sure...
Me: Well who was involved?, I can search for it......
LC: Well it was either Gomez, or Gonzolaz, or a guy named smith.
Me: Well...when did you lose it, maybe we can undelete it?
LC: I'm not sure... it's from a case the closed a few years ago.
Me: Why the *%$#* do you want it then?
LC: Well I was writing something similar and I remember that I wrote a really good paragraph, but I don't remember what it said.
Me: Let me get this straight, you want a file restored, but you don't know where it was, what it was about, who it involved, or when it was deleted?
LC: Yeah, when can I have it?
Me: Second Tuesday of next week.
LC: That seems like a long time.....
 

TN

Hey baby, want a hot dog?
Jul 9, 2002
14,257
1,334
Jimtown, CO
my 1st conversation at work.....

CW-hey, we got a new game.

ME-cool, tell me more.

CW- hand me that big rubber band & LOOK OUT!

*giant rubber band goes flying into crudely drawn bullseye on dry erase board*

ME-KICK ASS!
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
33,237
3,889
TN said:
my 1st conversation at work.....

CW-hey, we got a new game.

ME-cool, tell me more.

CW- hand me that big rubber band & LOOK OUT!

*giant rubber band goes flying into crudely drawn bullseye on dry erase board*

ME-KICK ASS!
Lucky it wasn't this game..
collegiatesport
 

beestiboy

Monkey
May 21, 2005
321
0
Merded, ca
stevew said:
Lucky it wasn't this game..
collegiatesport

wow things have changed since i graduated. We usually got drunk and shaved off peoples eyebrows.

Well I feel better knowing that I am not the only one dealing with all of the ex-Jeopardy champs at work.

Only got 3 days left and then Im gone