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I Are Baboon

I Are Baboon

Vagina man
Aug 6, 2001
32,696
10,484
MTB New England
The draft is tonight, so this seems like a good time to start this thread. Recapping the offseason:

Tom Brady will sit four games.
Brock Asswilder leaves Super Bowl champ to play somewhere shitty.
Rams move back to LA then trade away 100 draft picks so they can draft a quarterback.
LOL at Chip Kelly and the 49ers.
Johnny Manziel trainwreck.
Some players beat some women.

What'd I miss?
 
stevew

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,054
10,001
sam bradford is stupid......i could warm the bench for 22 million in guaranteed money...
 
I Are Baboon

I Are Baboon

Vagina man
Aug 6, 2001
32,696
10,484
MTB New England
stevew said:
sam bradford is stupid......i could warm the bench for 22 million in guaranteed money...
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He is an asshole. He's done nothing in the league except steal money from the Rams and Eagles and somehow he thinks he is owed a starting job. I hope the Eagles draft Carson Wentz and he wins the starting job in training camp.
 
stevew

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
41,054
10,001
I Are Baboon said:
He is an asshole. He's done nothing in the league except steal money from the Rams and Eagles and somehow he thinks he is owed a starting job. I hope the Eagles draft Carson Wentz and he wins the starting job in training camp.
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it hasn't dawned on him he isnt starting material or he will never be a hall of fame qb.....his best bet for life after football is maybe get away with murder and see if espn will hire him.
 
Nick

Nick

My name is Nick
Sep 21, 2001
24,716
16,110
where the trails are
I Are Baboon said:
Tom Brady will sit four games
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If you didn't like that cheater before ...


On Monday, the U.S. Appeals court reinstated Tom Brady's 4-game suspension for his involvement in Deflategate and accusation that he was part of a conspiracy to intentionally deflate footballs in the 2015 AFC Championship game.

Though his suspension was overturned last year, if the current ruling stands, Brady has wisely prepared for the scenario.

At the start of the new league year in March, Brady and the Patriots came to a new contract agreement. Brady made a bold move to reduce his base salary from $9 million in 2016 to $1 million. For an NFL player with 10 or more years of experience, the minimum salary is $985,000 per year. Brady nearly took the lowest yearly figure possible, while recouping much of the money with a $28 million, guaranteed signing bonus.

Suspended players lose a prorated amount of their base salary for each game missed. As Boston Globe's Ben Volin noted at the time of Brady's new deal, it will save him tons of money in case of a suspension.
 
HAB

HAB

Chelsea from Seattle
Apr 28, 2007
11,586
2,018
Seattle
I Are Baboon said:
He is an asshole. He's done nothing in the league except steal money from the Rams and Eagles and somehow he thinks he is owed a starting job. I hope the Eagles draft Carson Wentz and he wins the starting job in training camp.
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I think Bradford is a mediocre at best QB too, and a moron for the way he's handling his current situation in Philly, but stealing money? Come on. I'm going to side with a player taking the money they can get every damn time, even if I think they're making more than their market value. Dude's just doing a job, if someone wanted to pay me silly money to do mine I wouldn't be like "guys, I'm not worth that much, how about you pay me less?" either.
 
I Are Baboon

I Are Baboon

Vagina man
Aug 6, 2001
32,696
10,484
MTB New England
ICEBALL585 said:
Bill draft DE Shaq Lawton to replace an overpaid Mario Williams. Not bad.


EDIT: Also, Dolphins draft Gasmask McBonghit :rofl:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/draft/2016/04/28/laremy-tunsil-video-marijuana-twitter-nfl-draft/83678590/
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A couple of thoughts crossed my mind when I saw this: First, how the hell could this guy let that video get out? Dude cost himself millions of dollars. Second, I don't smoke weed so I am not educated on this stuff, but pot smoking contraptions sure do look a lot more complicated than I thought.
 
Westy

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
55,786
21,800
Sleazattle
I Are Baboon said:
A couple of thoughts crossed my mind when I saw this: First, how the hell could this guy let that video get out? Dude cost himself millions of dollars. Second, I don't smoke weed so I am not educated on this stuff, but pot smoking contraptions sure do look a lot more complicated than I thought.
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It would seem he has pissed off someone capable of hacking both his twitter/instagram account as well as his phone. That or the phone just got lost/stolen and ended up in the hands of a real asshole.
 
maddog17

maddog17

Turbo Monkey
Jan 20, 2008
2,817
106
Methuen, Mass. U.S.A.
I Are Baboon said:
The draft is tonight, so this seems like a good time to start this thread. Recapping the offseason:

Tom Brady will sit four games.
Brock Asswilder leaves Super Bowl champ to play somewhere shitty.
Rams move back to LA then trade away 100 draft picks so they can draft a quarterback.
LOL at Chip Kelly and the 49ers.
Johnny Manziel trainwreck.
Some players beat some women.

What'd I miss?
Click to expand...
Zefel becoming the official pump sponsor of the NFL
 
ICEBALL585

ICEBALL585

Bacontard
Sep 8, 2009
6,817
2,078
.:585:.
I Are Baboon said:
Tom Brady throws in the towel, and so ends Deflategate.
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Brady sitting out for the first 4 games is great news for the Bills (and other teams in the AFC East)... then Karlos Williams (Bills RB) gets a 4 game suspension for substance abuse. DAMMIT!!! I freakin swear that the damn Buffalo Bills are cursed. :rant:
 
I Are Baboon

I Are Baboon

Vagina man
Aug 6, 2001
32,696
10,484
MTB New England
I'm watching this Browns/Bucs preseason game. Jesus, if RG3 makes it three games in one piece I'll be shocked. :dead: Every time he gets hit, I'm just waiting for the injury.
 
I Are Baboon

I Are Baboon

Vagina man
Aug 6, 2001
32,696
10,484
MTB New England
I Are Baboon said:
I'm watching this Browns/Bucs preseason game. Jesus, if RG3 makes it three games in one piece I'll be shocked. :dead: Every time he gets hit, I'm just waiting for the injury.
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Griffin Placed on Injured Reserve
Monday, Sept. 12
The Browns announced the roster move, noting Griffin has a "fractured coracoid bone in his left shoulder" and that the quarterback will miss "an extended period of time."

The announcement noted surgery is not required and Griffin will be evaluated in three to four weeks.
 
Pesqueeb

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
41,430
18,690
Riding the baggage carousel.
I Are Baboon said:
A couple of thoughts crossed my mind when I saw this: First, how the hell could this guy let that video get out? Dude cost himself millions of dollars. Second, I don't smoke weed so I am not educated on this stuff, but pot smoking contraptions sure do look a lot more complicated than I thought.
Click to expand...
"That's the problem in this country. People are never satisfied with stuff the way it is. You gotta make it bigger and better and stronger and faster. Same way with pot. For years pot was just joints, and then bongs came out and bongs were ok too, but then bongs weren't good enough for some people. "Neeehhhhhh!" Remember that friend in high school wanted to make bongs out of everything. Making bongs out of apples and oranges and shit? Come in one day and find your friend going, "Hey! Look man, I made a bong outta my head! Put the pot in this ear and take it outta this one! Good! Take a hit! *snort*" Then they got one of those big giant bongs that you gotta start up like a motorcycle. "Put the pot in!" *motor starting* Kids are driving their bongs down FDR Drive. "Pull the bong over man, I wanna do a hit. Pull it over!" What was the problem with just smoking a joint, eating a couple of Twinkies, and going to sleep? Was that a problem? They say marijuana leads to other drugs. No it doesn't, it leads to fucking carpentry. That's the problem, folks. People getting high going, "Wow man, this box would make an excellent bong! *snort* This guy's head would make an excellent bong! *snort*" Relax! That's why I stopped doing drugs in the first place. Not because I didn't like 'em, but because I didn't want to build anything, ok?"

On a related note, how about that Trevor Siemian kid? Fingers crossed the Donkeys go all the way again. Skiing last Super Bowl Sunday and having the mountain to ourselves was pretty magical.
 
jdcamb

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
20,019
8,729
Nowhere Man!
ICEBALL585 said:
Brady sitting out for the first 4 games is great news for the Bills (and other teams in the AFC East)... then Karlos Williams (Bills RB) gets a 4 game suspension for substance abuse. DAMMIT!!! I freakin swear that the damn Buffalo Bills are cursed. :rant:
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Did you watch the same game as me? Clearly the Bills are on a path to win the Super Bowl. They just need a coach, a quarter back, a offensive line. Effective play calling. A secondary. Enough available space in a Drug and Alcohol Rehab for a half million fans.
 
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I Are Baboon

I Are Baboon

Vagina man
Aug 6, 2001
32,696
10,484
MTB New England
Westy said:
How the hell does Jeff Fischer have a job?
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:twitch:

I have gotten so used to the Rams being bad that I just accept it, and it's a pleasant surprise when they manage to win games. I'm glad I like football enough that I really enjoy the rest of the games despite my team being horrible.
 
mantispf2000

mantispf2000

Turbo Monkey
Aug 9, 2001
1,795
246
Nevada, 2 hours from Mammoth
RoboDonkey713 said:
America's most hated team still won with a back up QB and no Gronk Smash.
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Thanks for reminding me....... That being said, it's the holder's fault for not getting the ball down (regardless of snap), laces out, and Catanzaro putting it through the uprights. Fitz's 100th career TD didn't mean a thing without the win.

Wifey scored 180+ in her fantasy football league, though, so there is some good news.
 
ICEBALL585

ICEBALL585

Bacontard
Sep 8, 2009
6,817
2,078
.:585:.
jdcamb said:
Did you watch the same game as me? Clearly the Bills are on a path to win the Super Bowl. They just need a coach, a quarter back, a offensive line. Effective play calling. A secondary. Enough available space in a Drug and Alcohol Rehab for a half million fans.
Click to expand...

 
Brian HCM#1

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,177
377
Bay Area, California
I Are Baboon said:
:twitch:

I have gotten so used to the Rams being bad that I just accept it, and it's a pleasant surprise when they manage to win games. I'm glad I like football enough that I really enjoy the rest of the games despite my team being horrible.
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Dude, what happened? All I ask is they go 2-0 against the 49ers. What a let down. Maybe they were all taking a stand with Keapernick.
 
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