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A different perspective

tammy

spyderzmom
Oct 10, 2001
226
0
lost
Hey ladies! I was just reading through the thread about riding with other women, and I hope you won't mind me voicing another opinion. I'm probably the oddball out here (and I'm sure Chromegoddess will agree with that assessment :p ), but over the years I've developed a true love of riding alone. It doesn't mean that I don't care about other women riders - I do. Just for some of us (me) riding is less social and more introspective I suppose. Anyway, if you would indulge me, I'd like to include an article I had written about this "different perspective" on riding?

And as always, many thanks to Echo for his incredible editing/proofing capabilities. ;)

Article to follow in the next post.
 

tammy

spyderzmom
Oct 10, 2001
226
0
lost
“Cut your losses.” It’s a saying we use when we have already invested too much into a losing venture, and decide to quit before losing more. This phrase came to me on an organized mountain bike ride last night, as I once again fell off the back of the “slower intermediate” group. I started to think I had already invested far too much (9 years to be exact) into an activity that was not, and apparently was not ever going to be, my forte.

But what I couldn’t quite figure out was why, after 9 years of stagnating at generally the beginner skill level, I was still out there trying. Years ago when I tried my hand at windsurfing, it only took a few failed attempts before I realized that wasn’t my “thing”. Same thing with several other activities – it didn’t take long to realize I wasn’t a runner, a skier, or a swimmer. I’ve generally not ever really been the athletic type, most often preferring the solitude of reading, writing, meditation, dance, etc.

So why was I here, floundering on this beginner level trail, while others who had been riding a fraction of the years I had were flying effortlessly past me as I struggled helplessly on the unforgiving roots and tight turns? Why have I found it so difficult to abandon attempts at this sport like I have so many others? What makes mountain biking different?

I pondered this as I dismounted time and time again when I was unable to maintain control of my bike along the twisty, narrow trail. Perhaps it was because I had already invested so many years in the sport? No, that couldn’t be it. I gave up horseback riding after over 30 years, and I was far better at horsemanship than I am at bike handling.

Suddenly my mind flashed back to something a fellow competitor had told me at a 24 hour race a couple of years ago. As he watched me ride past his campsite at around 5:30 in the morning when the sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, the expression on my face was one of pure joy, as if this was more of a “religious experience” than a race. He said that I appeared to be completely absorbed in the moment, seemingly unaware of any pain or exhaustion that I must have felt at that time, after riding straight for nearly 17 hours.

Then it occurred to me that most of the darkest, loneliest times I’ve experienced on my bike have actually been when I was riding in groups. I realized that I am not fast or technically skilled, and at 42 years old, in all likelihood never will be. I don’t really have much interest in seeing how many trail obstacles I can conquer, or how fast I can ride.

Truthfully I don’t fit the mold of the average mountain biker at all. I’ve never been much of a risk taker, and don’t have a very strong competitive drive. While mountain biking seems to be a social outlet for many riders, for me it is more a means of facilitating “moving meditation”, whereby I can step outside myself and delve more deeply into my inner self at the same time. When I ride alone, I’m not the slow rider, or the scared rider, or the rider who gets dropped. On solitary rides, I am the fast rider, the bold rider, and the rider leading the pack.

However, even all that does not totally explain the siren’s call this sport has for me. Generally people are drawn to activities where they excel. Yet here I am, still struggling, still falling off the back of group rides, still afraid to try technical trail sections or obstacles, and despite all this, I continue to head out to the trail with my bike. Why? I honestly don’t know. Perhaps I’ll go for a solo ride and think it over…
 

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tmx

aka chromegoddess
Mar 16, 2003
1,683
2
Portland
tammy, that's beautiful! i think many of us not only understand that, but many might share similar sentiments.

kind of ironic that you were one of the first women i raced against at a national who gave me a deep sense of commraderie and was so hilariously calming at the staging area.

24 hour xc racing seems the epitome of hardcore!!! will miss you at the dh starting gate but happy you're still charging through the woods on two wheels with that infectious smile.
 

dhjill

Monkey
Feb 26, 2003
205
0
SD Cali
Nice article, Tammy! Since I feel like I'm losing my competitive drive more and more, I'm really enjoying riding just to ride. Whether it be by myself or with others, male or female. I truly beleive that riding is a religion to a certain extent...when you start getting really, really competitive, it somehow ruins it. It's not to say that racing and having a competitive spirit is bad (hell, I've been racing for 8 or 9 years now...I'll never quit racing completely) it's just nice to enjoy riding for all the reasons that got me into it in the first place.

I had forgotten that you were once into horses, like me. Do you ever get the urge to start horseback riding again? I do. For some reason, right now I have the bug really bad. Maybe it's my injury (or the drugs they have me on!) but I've really been seriously thinking about getting back into it again.:D :D Juggling horses and bikes might be tough, though.
 

tammy

spyderzmom
Oct 10, 2001
226
0
lost
Originally posted by dhjill
Do you ever get the urge to start horseback riding again?
Of course I do - I think it would be impossible not to, after spending the first 33 years of my life enveloped with them. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it ;) ), finances will not allow me to get back into the horse owner/trainer/rider thing again, probably not ever (if you recall, my last one, in the attached picture, cost me many thousands upon thousands of dollars in the failed attempts to save her life after first colic and then a multiple bone foot fracture). While I do miss that whole part of my life, I try not to look solely through the rose-colored glasses when I stroll down memory lane. I attempt to also remember the many sub-freezing nights I spent in Zakisha's stall, holding hot compresses on her incision site, the agonizing worries every time there was a drought (or floods) which sent the cost of hay, grain, and bedding soaring, and the irreparable shattering of my heart when I received the news that the horse I adored so much wasn't going to survive.

I have managed to stay in touch with most of the people who assumed ownership of other horses I raised from babies - sadly time stops for no one, and I've gotten the grief-stricken phone calls and e-mails twice now that two of them have died, one with cancer and one from a heart attack. Luckily they both lived to a ripe old age (nearly 20 for each), spent with people who loved them, unlike my baby, Zakisha, who was taken from me far too young at only 11.

I don't know that I could ever go back to horseback riding again, though, because for me horses were a total lifestyle, and even after so many years, the scar of losing that is still very fresh on my heart. I hope that makes sense?
 

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dhjill

Monkey
Feb 26, 2003
205
0
SD Cali
What a sweet picture! She looks like such a nice mare. Yeah, I do hear you about the financial part of it. Unlike a bike when it breaks, you can't just hang your horse up in the garage and fix it when you feel like it or when you have the money to. It is a lifestyle...so is cycling...so it would probably have to boil down to one or the other. I love cycling so much, I just wish there was a way to do both. Plus the money part...oh, to have more more time and more money!!!;)
 

rainbow_smoke

Monkey
Sep 19, 2003
265
0
Bellingham, WA
I love to snowboard by myself, and I do enjoy biking bymyself. I think it is beneficial at elast for me sometimes to bike with or snowboard with other girls. a little less intimdating, and a bit more encourging. Alone is awesome!! riding with the guys is fun. sometimes though, I just want to ride with another girl and take it easy chatting. But thats my personal thing.
 

laura

DH_Laura
Jul 16, 2002
6,259
15
Glitter Gulch
tammy, i feel like i totally agree with you. sometimes riding with tn is fun. we play chase and i can kick his ass. this is a rare occurance though. any other time, i am the last of the pack. i feel like all i'm doing is catching up the whole time. i love to ride by my self. when tn and i ride together he goes off ahead and then we meet up a little down the trail. i either want to be in the very front or the very back where i dont even feel like part of the group. i am not naturally athletic, although tn tries to tell me i am a natural. i run all the time, but i am no runner. i skateboard, but i am no skateboarder. i do yoga and pilates, but i'll never be a guru. i do it because i like it. i go at my own pace and do my own thing. i enjoy the personal challenge all of these things give me.

what i'm really trying to say is, i know where you are coming from.
 

tammy

spyderzmom
Oct 10, 2001
226
0
lost
That's so cool, Laura - hopefully we can get together at the Southeast Monkey thingie, and just both be falling off the back of the group together...

Or, next time y'all come back to NC, let me know, and maybe we can meet up with you. :)
 

DHRacer

The Rev
Oct 8, 2001
352
0
Originally posted by dhjill
Nice article, Tammy! Since I feel like I'm losing my competitive drive more and more, I'm really enjoying riding just to ride. Whether it be by myself or with others, male or female. I truly beleive that riding is a religion to a certain extent...when you start getting really, really competitive, it somehow ruins it. It's not to say that racing and having a competitive spirit is bad (hell, I've been racing for 8 or 9 years now...I'll never quit racing completely) it's just nice to enjoy riding for all the reasons that got me into it in the first place.
if I may... I think this feeling touches everyone at some point or another, men and women. But it's alway Tammy that seems to remind me of the simpler truths in life, directly or indirectly.

Year before last, i just about walked away from the sport, altogether. I had gotten so wraped up in the competition aspect of if, gotten injured several times over the season, and just basically forgot why I was doing it.

I took 6 months off, no bikes, no gym, no bike videos, i didn't even open the door to my bike room... i wanted NOTHING to do with bikes, until I was ready for them again.

well, as time went by, i asked myself the hard questions.. WHY are you doing this? and do I want to continue? the answer was a resounding YES!... but on one condition. i HAD to have fun at it! i had to find the reason why I started riding to begin with. and with that approach, i ride and race now with a smile on my face, and just enjoying the time with my friends. a race is only a couple minutes of an entire weekend (in DH anyway), it was all the other minutes in the weekend that I thoroughly enjoyed.

but also, being on the bike gives you a sense of freedom, a sense of belonging, a sense of power in an otherwise cruel world that seems to derive pleasure from keeping you down... i'm not the best at what I do, but I'm not the worst... and I'm happy with that! :)

thanks for sharing the article Tammy, once again, :thumb: to you!
 

KPicha

Velma
Aug 3, 2002
144
0
Northern, VA
Wow! That explained it all perfectly!

I'm always falling at the back of the pack but I'm content to just mosey on up the climbs. I've definitely lost my competitve edge since I had children. If I were still my "other me", I wouldn't even think of not being one of the first two.

Riding is such a relaxing outlet for me and its so funny how different it is to ride with men. They always seem to want go "all out" and I'm more inclined to enjoy the scenery.

Tammy, I'm sorry to hear about your horse, even though its been awhile. I hope the hole in your heart mends soon. :) I think the majority of us can relate to some degree or another with pets of our own that we poured our hearts and souls into.

Thanks for your article! It brightened my evening :)
 
Good article! Hits the nail on the head.
I talk to a lot of women who will not ride alone. They feel it is not safe. The hubby worries about me sometimes when I’m out alone, but I look at it this way, there is more danger driving to work every day than out on the trail.
Riding with the guys certainly builds skill & speed, and I gotten to the point where I’m 2nd or 3rd from the end. (Oh! That drives some of the guys a bit nuts! They’ll practically kill themselves trying to catch up & pass. :rolleyes: ) But your right, with the guys it’s a lot about one-up-man ship, so its nice to ride with the ladies, so much more laid back.
One odd thing tho; what I seem to find when I ride by myself is that I will nail things that will hang me up when I’m riding with a group. I must suffer from performance anxiety when I’m with others!
 

KPicha

Velma
Aug 3, 2002
144
0
Northern, VA
[QUOTE
One odd thing tho; what I seem to find when I ride by myself is that I will nail things that will hang me up when I’m riding with a group. I must suffer from performance anxiety when I’m with others! [/B][/QUOTE]

Ha, that's funny! I'm completely the opposite! When I'm riding with guys, I'm riding so much fast that I don't have time to think about what Im doing. Just react. OTH, when I'm alone, I'm riding more slowly so I can "anticipate" what's about to happen, then that gets me thinking, and then....well, you can figure from here :)

Although, after switching to flats, I've been finding my confidence increasing tenfold and I'm more inclined to try more things.