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A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
65,375
12,529
In a van.... down by the river
girlwhoboards said:
i guess that's what money does to a town...hence the dot.com crusade. i grew up here and it's so overblown now. <snip>
it's not an easy job or lifestyle for them and now it's going to be tough for them to survive the scene.
Blame the hippies. It's their goddam fault anyways. :mad:
 

SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
65,375
12,529
In a van.... down by the river
girlwhoboards said:
so you are a hippie hater aye? they have there place you know otherwise life would get stale. it's like if you go to the beach and all the rocks where the same or you only had your choice of getting drip from starbucks ;). maybe you could learn to love the hippies :).
I do love them. But they are the source of all ills...... :mad:
 

kinghami3

Future Turbo Monkey
Jun 1, 2004
2,239
0
Ballard 4 life.
girlwhoboards said:
what did the hippies have to do with it...they got chased out of fremont (eclectic neighborhood in seattle) when adobe moved in he-he...now they live...i think in bc...or did they go yippy?
Either went yuppie or moved to Bellingham. There's still some left in the woodwork too. I don't think anyone wants a lap-dance from anyone who hasn't bathed in 3 years.
 

DRB

unemployed bum
Oct 24, 2002
15,242
0
Watchin' you. Writing it all down.
girlwhoboards said:
so you are a hippie hater aye? they have there place you know otherwise life would get stale. it's like if you go to the beach and all the rocks where the same or you only had your choice of getting drip from starbucks ;). maybe you could learn to love the hippies :).

SS is a hippy. A short short wearing hippy.
 

Secret Squirrel

There is no Justice!
Dec 21, 2004
8,150
1
Up sh*t creek, without a paddle
SkaredShtles said:
I've heard that things are really right-wing up there in Seattle.

:think:
Stuff up here has really been going to sh*t lately....hippies notwithstanding, people just seem to be losing their ballz...we're catering to the lowest common denominator all the time now, and, I for one, don't like it at all...

[rant] Ohh...you don't like how I parallel parked?? Well, I'll get the city council to ban it.

Ohh...you don't want my sister-in-law to make enough money to put herself through school with a kid...??? Well, I'll get the city council to ban strip clubs. (actual story from my life 6 years ago...of course this was before, when she could make money... :angry: but now she has a different job! whew!)

[/rant]

Everyone's worried about everything all at once and they throw out panic-stricken edicts about what they think everyone else should be doing...

They need a good :nuts:

I'm going home and drinking my recently bought beer before anyone comes into my house and tells me I'm wrong and I can't do it anymore. This will be shortly followed by a shotgun cocking...
 

MikeD

Leader and Demogogue of the Ridemonkey Satinists
Oct 26, 2001
11,669
1,713
chez moi
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
 

reflux

Turbo Monkey
Mar 18, 2002
4,617
2
G14 Classified
MikeD said:
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
What, no freedom fries?

Geezus...
 

MudGrrl

AAAAH! Monkeys stole my math!
Mar 4, 2004
3,123
0
Boston....outside of it....
I was lonelier than kunta kinte at a merle haggard concert
That night i strolled on into uncle limpy's hump palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
Since that midnight run haulin' hog to shakey town on i-10.
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
Through a pair of daisy duke cut-offs and one of those fruit of the loom tank-tops.
Well, that night i lost myself to ruby red lips,
Milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was russell.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well i find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
This pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
Like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was bambi and i said, "well that's a coincidence darlin',
cause i was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a jack-o-lantern,
And i went on to tell her how i would wear her face like a mask
As i do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like minnie pearl.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well i find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


So, bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So i says, "even this one i have where jesus christ
Is jackhammering mickey mouse in the doo-doo hole
With a lawn dart as garth brooks gives birth to something
Resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on santa claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what i mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. that rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
When i found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well i find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


Day or so had passed when i popped the clutch,
Gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The stinky pinky gulp n' guzzle big rig snooze-a-stop.
There i was browsin' through the latest issue of "throb",
When i saw bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, i decided to do what any good christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
And polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
In an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did i say that out loud?


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well i find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
 

Jimmy_Pop

Turbo Monkey
Mar 1, 2002
2,030
0
Phoenix, Az USA
Fvck, Im tired. I got home late and im up early for work after the Bloodhound Gang in concert last night. Fort Worth's Ridglea Theater rocked. It was soo awsome! The new drummer kicksAss! Plenty of young boobies were in unobstructed attendance too. Evil Jared is a trip, Taking a beer bong to gulp a whole bottle of YAger. He vomited on Jimmy's shirt but jimmy played like nothing happened. You just had to be there. THey sounded fantastic and the new album is stellar!

dates
http://www.bloodhoundgang.com/index2.html

 

MikeD

Leader and Demogogue of the Ridemonkey Satinists
Oct 26, 2001
11,669
1,713
chez moi
DRB said:
It was Phil Collins, not Liberace.
Sorry. Easy mistake.

(Can you imagine a Peter Gabriel cover...? Or maybe the Pet Shop Boys?)

MD
 

DNA

The human raccoon
Jan 31, 2003
1,443
0
NH
Guess what just popped up on the iTunes shuffle...

"Sneakin' up like celery yeah I'm stalkin'
I squeak like Stephen Hawkings yeah but I'm walkin'"

freakin' classic :thumb: