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A New Terror Threat...

N8 v2.0

Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Oct 18, 2002
11,003
149
The Cleft of Venus
A New Terror Threat
This holiday, watch out for those floating beer coolers
Time.com | 27 Jun 04 | ELAINE SHANNON

As the July 4 holiday approaches, Bush Administration officials are bombarding the nation's police, fire, emergency and corporate-security offices with another round of terrorism warnings. Although there are no plans to raise the threat level from yellow to orange, a senior Justice Department official says, "there's very serious intelligence that's corroborated, that's multiple sourced, that indicates that al-Qaeda is intent on hitting us and hitting us hard this year." The official concedes, however, that "we don't have specific information."

Along with this now familiar general warning, the FBI has introduced the specter of a new terrorism threat: booby-trapped beer coolers. A lightly classified bulletin sent to 18,000 state and local agencies last week advised local authorities to look out for plastic-foam containers, inner tubes and other waterborne flotsam commonly seen around marinas that could be rigged to blow up on contact. Also, the bulletin warned, terrorists might attach bombs to buoys. FBI and Department of Homeland Security officials say no such devices have actually been discovered, nor is there any current intelligence that terrorists are hatching plots involving floating bombs. But some officials believe al-Qaeda may be focusing on harbors and shipping channels in an effort to replicate the success of the October 2000 attack on the U.S.S. Cole in the port of Aden, in which suicide bombers used a small launch laden with explosives to rip a 40-ft. hole in the warship's hull, killing 17 sailors.
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What we need is a huge volunteer force of "good ol' boys" who are willing to conduct beer cooler inspections over the holidays...


:p
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,335
15
in da shed, mon, in da shed
But if we let them disrupt our activities, the terrorists score a victory, right?

I will do my part and go about my regular 4th of July ritual: filling my beer cooler with BEER and spending the better part of the day and night vainly trying to empty it. :cool:
 

COmtbiker12

Turbo Monkey
Dec 17, 2003
2,577
0
Colorado Springs
llkoolkeg said:
But if we let them disrupt our activities, the terrorists score a victory, right?

I will do my part and go about my regular 4th of July ritual: filling my beer cooler with BEER and spending the better part of the day and night vainly trying to empty it. :cool:
I'll be doing my part to launch off as many bottle rockets and illegal fireworks as possible :D
 

Tenchiro

Attention K Mart Shoppers
Jul 19, 2002
5,407
0
New England
llkoolkeg & mtnbkr4235 are true patriots. :thumb:

Personally I have a bag of bottlerockets with my name on it and plans to get more. :D
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,335
15
in da shed, mon, in da shed
mtnbkr4235 said:
I'll be doing my part to launch off as many bottle rockets and illegal fireworks as possible :D
EXACTLY! I still have a whole boxful of aerial goodies left over from last 4th when I endeared myself to my new neighbors at 2:00am by putting bricks of firecrackes and ladyfingers in a metal paint roller tray, doused the works in lighter fluid and ignited it all with a tossed piece of cannon fuse. All Hell broke loose for a minute or so and the metal tray got soooo hot, its feet submerged themselves into the road's asphalt. I had to yank it out of the street with giant pliers before the road hardened again. :devil:
 

JimmyTwoTimes

Monkey
Jun 26, 2003
197
0
West Hartford
**** them. They don't scare me. If anything, they should be scared of us. 280million strong and a pissed off military equipped with the best and most dangerous fighting tools in the world. They don't have ****.


The only good terrorist is a dead one.
 

bomberz1qr20

Turbo Monkey
Nov 19, 2001
1,007
0
I make a point to ignore what the current threat level is, being that it's all bulls**t to keep people scared.

But yeah, whatever. Drink a bunch of beer and drool over our military power, if that makes you feel safe.

Go Coors!
 

Damn True

Monkey Pimp
Sep 10, 2001
4,015
3
Between a rock and a hard place.
llkoolkeg said:
But if we let them disrupt our activities, the terrorists score a victory, right?

I will do my part and go about my regular 4th of July ritual: filling my beer cooler with BEER and spending the better part of the day and night vainly trying to empty it. :cool:
That's the spirit mate!
 

COmtbiker12

Turbo Monkey
Dec 17, 2003
2,577
0
Colorado Springs
llkoolkeg said:
EXACTLY! I still have a whole boxful of aerial goodies left over from last 4th when I endeared myself to my new neighbors at 2:00am by putting bricks of firecrackes and ladyfingers in a metal paint roller tray, doused the works in lighter fluid and ignited it all with a tossed piece of cannon fuse. All Hell broke loose for a minute or so and the metal tray got soooo hot, its feet submerged themselves into the road's asphalt. I had to yank it out of the street with giant pliers before the road hardened again. :devil:
HA! Thats great dude. I've got a good 60 bottle rockets, 20-40 miscellaneous bigger rockets, 2-3 dozen fountains and such, and then about 5 that shoot out of a 3inch wide mortor :D :drool:
 

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
That's right folks, while the terrorists are sweatin about their last meal thinking about what they are gonna blow up, I'll have my miller lite and percoset buzz on yo, watching the fireworks from the safety of a small middle class neighborhood out in central mass. Bastids. Imagine your only goal in life was blowing sheite up?

Knuckle
 

Smelly

Turbo Monkey
Jun 17, 2004
1,254
1
out yonder, round bout a hootinany
the irational fear of terrorism, for me, was summed up last semester in a history class on the US in the 1960's. it was a big lecture, like 400 people. the prof. got to talking about the red scare and some girl asked "why were peopple so afraid of communism? it seems like it wasn't ever a real threat?"
somewhere in the ocean of people a kid responds "why are you afraid of terrorism?"
terrorism isn't a threat. wanna worry about something? you're much more likely to die in your car or by heart cancer than by some terrorist activity. go worry about that.
i'll gladly be the beer cooler inspector. crappy beer. now THERE'S a terrorist activity!