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A novel thread? The perfect urinal

sam_little

sam_little

Monkey
May 18, 2003
783
0
Portland, OR
So last night I had a bit of a spat with my ladyfriend over the shape of the perfect urinal. She is an architecture grad student with a strong sense of design. I have a penis, and have had it for 25 years. Thus, we both think we know a thing or two about how a urinal should be designed. I have never met a urinal that didn't splatter at least a tiny bit, so here is my idea

Mine: essentially an inverted orange street cone shape draining downward (maybe -60 degrees from horizontal) with a slight arc, terminating at a gooseneck (sump?). The opening would be flared out, but the flanges would also drain down. There would likely be no splatter, and if so, it would be deflected down a tube rather than back at my khaki shorts.

Hers: Similar to mine, but bulbous and not angled as heavily. The way it was drawn, the lip closest to the user was actually turned in on itself, which seems like it would be hard to clean automatically with a flush (my biggest gripe and the source of our "bigger issues" coversation).

So, what do you all think. Ever run into a urinal that couldn't use improvement. Seems that this would have been solved long ago, and not likely by a bunch of cyclists, but who knows...
 
robdamanii

robdamanii

OMG! <3 Tom Brady!
May 2, 2005
10,677
0
Out of my mind, back in a moment.
Does this whole thing stem from her having to clean the bathroom, I'm guessing?

My take is....if you don't have a penis, you shouldn't be designing something that is a penis-exclusive item.

That would be like men designing Tampons.
 
HRDTLBRO

HRDTLBRO

Turbo Monkey
Feb 4, 2004
1,161
0
Apt. 421
robdamanii said:
Does this whole thing stem from her having to clean the bathroom, I'm guessing?

My take is....if you don't have a penis, you shouldn't be designing something that is a penis-exclusive item.

That would be like men designing Tampons.
Click to expand...
and...BAM!
 
sam_little

sam_little

Monkey
May 18, 2003
783
0
Portland, OR
robdamanii said:
her having to clean the bathroom, I'm guessing?
Click to expand...
HA!!! That would be great to see.

No, it stems from her going to a seminar on urinal design. She explained the "best" design, and I felt it was crap. I think it stems from my being a thick-skulled taurian bastard, and her being too sensitive after a cocktail.
 
robdamanii

robdamanii

OMG! <3 Tom Brady!
May 2, 2005
10,677
0
Out of my mind, back in a moment.
sam_little said:
HA!!! That would be great to see.

No, it stems from her going to a seminar on urinal design. She explained the "best" design, and I felt it was crap. I think it stems from my being a thick-skulled taurian bastard, and her being too sensitive after a cocktail.
Click to expand...
Hrm....I fail to see more complicated being better.

Howabout just a drain in the middle of the floor, with tile?

EDIT: And they have seminars on URINAL DESIGN??
 
O

odiwik

Monkey
Mar 2, 2004
252
0
Aren't Japanese bathrooms similar to that, with the squatting and all?

I hate getting splashed; I usually try to arc it to match a contour on the side and swirl in (physics!).
 
Jr_Bullit

Jr_Bullit

I'm sooo teenie weenie!!!
Sep 8, 2001
2,028
1
North of Oz
All I can say is...if you're a chick, and ya gotta go, and there ain't no ladies room, those high on the wall urinals really suck ass...the ones in the floor are okay though. Personally, I'd rather go find a bush or tree....
 
SkaredShtles

SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
67,331
13,899
In a van.... down by the river
Apparently women have designed urinals for the last 60 years, because *every* design that makes it into a public restroom sucks ass, IMO.

Sounds like you're onto something with the cone.

Friggin' urinals.

-S.S.-
 
Bullitrider

Bullitrider

Monkey
Apr 17, 2004
577
0
Seattle
The pub by my place has a urinal so big you could shower in it. It must be a one of kind from the 50's or something. The funny thing is, the bar is moving a block away and they are taking the urinal with them. It's already been removed for a more traditional model like the wall hanger type and the place already stinks like a sewer from the splatter. Of course, being that it's a pub might have something to do with it.
 
I Are Baboon

I Are Baboon

Vagina man
Aug 6, 2001
32,685
10,428
MTB New England
The worst urinal I used was at Dover Downs Speedway in Delaware (NASCAR track). Nothing like peeing into a large bathtub with 100 other drunk hillbillies crowded around. :dead:
 
El Jefe

El Jefe

Dr. Phil Jefe
Nov 26, 2001
793
0
OC in SoCal
splat said:
I like the old fasion full size console model , were you can pee on the floor and still hit the thing

Click to expand...
All you have to do to keep from getting splattered, it take this design, angle the top forward a bit so that pee deflection is down and not back out, and then bring something up in front to protect against splashing when pee hits the bottom of the urinal. The raised splash guard could be plumbed for rinsing the urinal as well, thus reducing the water pressure pushed from the top and therefore eliminating clean water (but still gross) splash from the flush.
 
dh girlie

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Feb 11, 2002
8,056
0
A state where you never find the dance floor empty
El Jefe said:
All you have to do to keep from getting splattered, it take this design, angle the top forward a bit so that pee deflection is down and not back out, and then bring something up in front to protect against splashing when pee hits the bottom of the urinal. The raised splash guard could be plumbed for rinsing the urinal as well, thus reducing the water pressure pushed from the top and therefore eliminating clean water (but still gross) splash from the flush.
Click to expand...
I thought you were going to say...grow a monster...
 
B

bigshred

Monkey
Feb 6, 2004
177
0
Bellingham
The more tangental (SP?) your piss can hit the urinal the better, I hate urinals with those plastic/rubber things with holes in the bottoms.. they screw up the "Flow" and cause problems.

Something else I really hate are those lame sinks that are about a foot and a half to low, I have never understood why they keep that slimy turqouise soap in the bottom of the sink, the water doesnt even flow well enough to wash my hands. wtf?
 
SkaredShtles

SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
67,331
13,899
In a van.... down by the river
bigshred said:
<snip>
Something else I really hate are those lame sinks that are about a foot and a half to low, I have never understood why they keep that slimy turqouise soap in the bottom of the sink, the water doesnt even flow well enough to wash my hands. wtf?
Click to expand...
Ummmm.......... dude. You were washing your hands in a urinal. :eek: :p

-S.S.-
 
SkaredShtles

SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
67,331
13,899
In a van.... down by the river
dh girlie said:
I once heard a guy refer to that little air freshner I guess it is, although I can't understand how anything could improve the smell of a place where many people piss...that is at the bottom of a urinal, a pee mint...HAHAHHAHA
Click to expand...
We always called 'em urinal cakes. :blech:

-S.S.-
 
Westy

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
55,743
21,760
Sleazattle
dh girlie said:
I once heard a guy refer to that little air freshner I guess it is, although I can't understand how anything could improve the smell of a place where many people piss...that is at the bottom of a urinal, a pee mint...HAHAHHAHA
Click to expand...
In college the dudes fromthe rugby team would always show how "crazy" they were by taking bites out of the urinal cakes. :blah: I almost got my ass kicked when after seeing one guy do it I asked if he always like to taste things that came out of people peni.
 
dh girlie

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Feb 11, 2002
8,056
0
A state where you never find the dance floor empty
Westy said:
In college the dudes fromthe rugby team would always show how "crazy" they were by taking bites out of the urinal cakes. :blah: I almost got my ass kicked when after seeing one guy do it I asked if he always like to taste things that came out of people peni.
Click to expand...

Ok...now that is f'n disgusting!!! those things taste like CRAP...errrr...nevermind! hahahahaha
 
Dartman

Dartman

Old Bastard Mike
Feb 26, 2003
3,911
0
Richmond, VA
There's a box of piss cakes in the mensroom at work. A disclaimer on the box says "These contain a substance known to cause cancer in the state of California"

Good thing they are using them here in Virginia. :thumb:

Mike
 
OGRipper

OGRipper

back alley ripper
Feb 3, 2004
10,720
1,221
NORCAL is the hizzle
dh girlie said:
I once heard a guy refer to that little air freshner I guess it is, although I can't understand how anything could improve the smell of a place where many people piss...that is at the bottom of a urinal, a pee mint...HAHAHHAHA
Click to expand...
I always thought that was a urinal mint...and taking a bite out of one is just nasty. Anyway I like the upside-down cone idea, anything funnel-like seems like it would work pretty well.
 
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