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sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,373
0
SF
I'm gonna see if I can upstage him. Here's the setup. My driveway is blind from one direction and short distance to a curve in the other, two lane, narrow mountain road. Pulling out across oncoming traffic is sketchy every time and speed limit is 35. No passing.

I come home from my daughters Christmas play w/ my parents in the car behind me a minute or two back at night. Pull in the drive and check the mailbox. Start back to the car and hear tires squalling in the distance. Look up and a truck is ripping past my parents (with my daughters in the back seat) in the curve. I reach down instantly, no forethought, and grab a handful of gravel. He passes by me in the wrong lane 50+mph and gets a grill full of gravel. Heart racing, scared that my kids almost died at his hands.

Here's your clincher. Nutjob has the balls to come back. Doesn't turn in my drive but starts to get out. I rush up and pin him into his truck. He's got one leg on the ground and I've literally got his skull pinned in his door frame to keep him from getting out. He's cussing me and I'm telling him to apologize and he almost killed my babies. That I'll make his skull pop before I let him out. Guy starts panicing and and says he's got a gun. I punch his head again with the door hard and he starts squeeky voicing, telling me he passed them b/c he's on his way to his mom. Throws in a "she's dyin." Dude's nutty. I make him take off. No apology. Just a tag # and a call to the cops who don't bother to find him over the threat.

My dad tells me I'm nuts, etc. but I just said "If he wasn't doing anything illegal, no rocks would have hit his truck and all I could think about was my childrens lives threatened". I reacted.

Oh, and shortly before the cops came, the guy drove by in a different car and said "cops ain't gonna do ****e". My only grace is he never really saw my face or what I drive b/c my car was at the house which sits 3 houses back on a private drive. he only saw my dads.

So discuss that act of idiocy.
I hate to compare the two incidents, since you are a father and I think I am personally going to sterilize Mooshoo for humanity's sake.

However, as poorly and intentionally dangerous that nutjob was driving, by throwing rocks at his window, you probably taught him nothing about poor driving and you exposed your family to a potential threat.

You were wise to pin him in his car door before he got out, though.

But I probably would have done exactly what you did, and I would be wondering if I did the right thing for a long time, as well as peering out my window every time a car pulled into my driveway.

Mooshoo didn't get hurt (although I don't think he wrote that he had been hit the week before, badly enough his rear wheel needed to be replaced) and he struck the guy's bike.

I almost got hit twice tonight. I did my usual maneuver, which is to start waving like, "Did you see me?!?!?", but that's about it. It would have been funnier if I slashed their tires, but what I am going to do?
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,841
19
So Cal
the worst i have ever done is when a lady tapped my rear wheel trying to get me to move. i kicked her front quarter panel as hard as i could and put a huge dent in her mercedes. i hope she learned her lesson
:thumb:

You should have flopped onthe ground, claimed she rammed you and sued her for the mercedes. :D
 

Dox

Monkey
Aug 26, 2009
263
0
Montreal, QC, Canada
lovebunny said:
the worst i have ever done is when a lady tapped my rear wheel trying to get me to move. i kicked her front quarter panel as hard as i could and put a huge dent in her mercedes. i hope she learned her lesson
Is this you?
 

amateur

Turbo Monkey
Apr 18, 2002
1,019
0
Orange County
Welcome to Socal....Thats the difference... what you did was assult, if you had hit him, its battery. They are indeed two seperate violations.

You took out your Ulock and started using it as a wepaon........Guess what jackass, its all in the interpretation of the officer, and the charging DA.

Also on the list, vandolism with intent to do harm!!! Guess what, those are felonies<or can be depending on the total damage> that means the cop doesnt have to be tehre to link your retarded Ebully ass up.
Sort of. Assault and Battery are torts. Assault also happens to be a criminal charge. Lucky for him, he's potentially responsible for all of them.
 

S.K.C.

Turbo Monkey
Feb 28, 2005
4,096
25
Pa. / North Jersey
I was comming home from work the day before new years eve. I was coming down a busy street with allot of street parking. There was some fool in an Audi and a cervello with new dura ace stuff on it at a stop. I zip by him on the right and he again passes me only to swerve into a spot on the street. Hi side swipes me the slightest bit and ran me up a curb on the sidewalk. I start screaming at the guy about how he is a moron in not such nice terms. and he says "calm down dude, i didn't see you."

I calmly walk over to his bike and say "oh nice new 7900 stuff, you clearly don't deserve it" I start tearing off his derailleur (****'s nice i wanted it) hanger gave free but the chain did not. I gave up on that and took my U-lock to his frame a few times. Calmly got back on my bike and left.

My bike is fine, I am fine, so all an all I do not regret ****ing up the dudes bike





First of all, I am not telling anyone mooshu's info. Forget that.

However, I thought a bit about this since he first told me the story.

As someone who has been sideswiped many times, never with even a sorry, I certainly sympathize with theMontashu.

And normally his tall tales of retribution against dickhead drivers usually amuse me, whether they are true or not.

As anyone who has ridden on the road regularly knows, something about lycra or girlpants gives riders self-righteous strength to flip over cars and impale their drivers with a Silca pump.

Ultimately, it comes back to the size of the offense. You get hit by a car, it could be hospital time or even death, so riders will go apesh*t over even near misses. I've done it.

I also like trouble, chaos, making a nuisance of yourself, blah blah blah, so theMontashu's stories strikes a chord.

I recently read Invictus, a book about Mandela and the South African rugby team winning the World Cup.

Mandela, who was in jail for 27 years, was not vindictive to even his jailers, and his non-violent, reconciliatory attitude was the key in uniting his country, despite forces on both sides, black and white, who wanted to kill each other, literally.

So, yes, I empathize with theMontashu, but I wouldn't have bashed in this guy's bike or car. I would have told him you almost killed me and that he is a fckhead, but that's about as far I would go.

Maybe I'm a pvssy, because I have been sideswiped intentionally and I didn't throw down after catching him (partly because he wielded an Auto Club to my U-lock). I do wish I had thrown my lock at his window, but I liked that lock. But I don't feel bad about doing nothing now. I'm not sure how I would feel if I had broken his jaw.
 
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Kanye West

220# bag of hacktastic
Aug 31, 2006
3,767
501
Okay mooshoo

1) This didn't happen. You are either trolling, or fantasizing, or both.

2) If by some slim chance it did happen, you are not only just dumb. You are actually criminally stupid for writing details of something like that on the internet. Wait for Manimal or some other LEO to chime in about how that could be used against you. I wouldn't be surprised if someone has saved a screenshot of your original post. Brilliant. Doubt that'll stop you anyway. It would probably just encourage you.

3) You aren't tough. At all. You must come across some major vaginas if nobody has made you French kiss the nearest curb. Even the biggest pussies I know wouldn't take crap face-to-face from any guy in spandex without breaking him in half, least of all you. Hell, I'd even beat the piss out of you just for the sheer pleasure of it if I find myself up in Borecal with nothing else to do (which is highly likely since that place sucks wild animal ass to begin with). I might even take after you and tell all of RideMonkey about it too.
 

TheMontashu

Pourly Tatteued Jeu
Mar 15, 2004
5,549
0
I'm homeless
Okay mooshoo

1) This didn't happen. You are either trolling, or fantasizing, or both.

2) If by some slim chance it did happen, you are not only just dumb. You are actually criminally stupid for writing details of something like that on the internet. Wait for Manimal or some other LEO to chime in about how that could be used against you. I wouldn't be surprised if someone has saved a screenshot of your original post. Brilliant. Doubt that'll stop you anyway. It would probably just encourage you.

3) You aren't tough. At all. You must come across some major vaginas if nobody has made you French kiss the nearest curb. Even the biggest pussies I know wouldn't take crap face-to-face from any guy in spandex without breaking him in half, least of all you. Hell, I'd even beat the piss out of you just for the sheer pleasure of it if I find myself up in Borecal with nothing else to do (which is highly likely since that place sucks wild animal ass to begin with). I might even take after you and tell all of RideMonkey about it too.
If you want to come kick my ass i'm more than happy to meet up with you somewere.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,560
2,200
Front Range, dude...
Everyones a tough guy on th interweb...9 inch cocks, lingerie model girlfriends an PHds in biophysics. Drive race cars on the weekends after rocking the crowd all night with guitar solos...

Or they are losers who vandalize other peoples stuff.
 

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
20,060
8,791
Nowhere Man!
Everyones a tough guy on th interweb...9 inch cocks, lingerie model girlfriends an PHds in biophysics. Drive race cars on the weekends after rocking the crowd all night with guitar solos...

Or they are losers who vandalize other peoples stuff.
Except for the 9inch cock and the lingerie model girlfriend, this is me... I have never measured my pecker. I just go by the astonished look I get after I whip it out.... I don't take kindly to being called a Vandal, I prefer Demolition Man!
 

boogenman

Turbo Monkey
Nov 3, 2004
4,414
1,098
BUFFALO
Except for the 9inch cock and the lingerie model girlfriend, this is me... I have never measured my pecker. I just go by the astonished look I get after I whip it out.... I don't take kindly to being called a Vandal, I prefer Demolition Man!
Can you do the Gucci watch with your rooster?
 

-BB-

I broke all the rules, but somehow still became mo
Sep 6, 2001
4,254
28
Livin it up in the O.C.
If it were me in the Audi, I would have followed you home and then called the Poe-Lice.
If you were on your way somewhere else I would have waited till you left your bike and then re-paid the favor. Either that, or pick/bust up your lock and then just leave it there unlocked in SF. It would last about 5 minutes IMO. Shoot, I had 2 bikes stolen from my garage in 2 months AND they were locked to a large pipe.
 

MMike

A fowl peckerwood.
Sep 5, 2001
18,207
105
just sittin' here drinkin' scotch
If it were me in the Audi, I would have followed you home and then called the Poe-Lice.
If you were on your way somewhere else I would have waited till you left your bike and then re-paid the favor. Either that, or pick/bust up your lock and then just leave it there unlocked in SF. It would last about 5 minutes IMO. Shoot, I had 2 bikes stolen from my garage in 2 months AND they were locked to a large pipe.
....and then peed on it?
 

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,373
0
SF
If it were me in the Audi, I would have followed you home and then called the Poe-Lice.
If you were on your way somewhere else I would have waited till you left your bike and then re-paid the favor. Either that, or pick/bust up your lock and then just leave it there unlocked in SF. It would last about 5 minutes IMO. Shoot, I had 2 bikes stolen from my garage in 2 months AND they were locked to a large pipe.
Have you heard of the sidewalk?

That's my escape route when being followed by a car.
 

-BB-

I broke all the rules, but somehow still became mo
Sep 6, 2001
4,254
28
Livin it up in the O.C.
It's called a "Discrete Distance". Shoot... a bike can get away from a car in NO time if they want to. Just find a One Way Street. I've been a bike courier and I've lived in SF. Unless you are out in the avenues, a bike will always be faster than a car.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
I woulda shot his ass.

And in Bizutch's situation, if the guy told me he had a gun, I would have shot his ass too.

**** it. Just start shooting everyone.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
43,240
15,330
Portland, OR
I woulda shot his ass.

And in Bizutch's situation, if the guy told me he had a gun, I would have shot his ass too.

**** it. Just start shooting everyone.
Bellow the waist. Shoot a guy in the nuts and you can't be charged with attempted murder. The most you'll get is 2 years.