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And Here. We. Go. - the Lourdes 2015 thread...

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
5,911
2,176
in a single wide, cooking meth...
So now that tacklesport season is over, and college roundball is nearing conclusion as well, we're finally ready to start America's original past time: World Cup
Racing!!

No enduro (even though it is admittedly located in France), no fanny packs, no 40 mm wide crabon rimz, no gazzi "plus" tires, no 42 tooth cogs, no gogs & XC helmets, no long travel single crown forks, no super thin knee "armor", and no uphills other than the face of a jump. No sir...Just good ol'fashioned family fun provided by dear Sir Issac Newton.

So what we know - it's in France technically, but really close to Andorra (which is decidedly not in France); its twin City in the US is Cheyenne, WY; weather looks pretty good, but rain is a possibility; the track looks pretty good from the air; they have a magic healing fountain which has accounted for 69 certified medical miracles.

What we don't know - why Citroen is still in business; the origin of "sacre bleu!!"; how the track will actually ride; if Manon and Ratboy is actually a thing.

Ok, now for the breakdown of le hommes:

1. Chainsaw...so I mentioned they have a magic fountain, right? Stevie limps into the pool of clear, cool (stem cell & HGH infused) water and within minutes is leaping around like a lumberjack high on maple syrup and weird bacon. The molestache makes a glorious return to the top podium step!

2. Steve Peat...this wily veteran also takes advantage of the Lady of Lourdes mystery dampening, which seems like an infinitely less unpleasant way to fix his knee compared to the Hoffman Hotel Zombie Drill Procedure. However, Peat over does it a bit, and instead of just healing his knee, he's now 23 years old again and decides to ride some terrible piece of fuck from yesteryear, which ultimately keeps Sheffield Steel off the top step.

3. Minnaar...The South Afrikan follows the example of his fellow team mate and eschews his fancy new cast for the Jeebus Juice™. While he avoids beer bonging the JJ like Peat did, he over applies some of the "clear" and he ends up with a Popeye arm...a veritable fiddler crab if you will. This overpowering appendage makes it very difficult for him not to oversteer left turns, so it cost him some precious seconds.

4. Ratboy...as with the rest of Syndicate, Ratty partakes in the magic sauce, so whatever residual scar tissue and tenderness remains in his ankle is spirited away. However, his fitness just isn't quite there, which is further exacerbated by him having to row his boat/house across the English Channel to make the race.

5. Gerard Depardieu...making a quick, tax free visit back to his native country from Mother Russia, the big man from Chateauroux makes a dramatic run astride a fat fuck bike, using Mr. Newton's force to great effect. Screaming "sacre bleu" the whole way down, his manly bulk overwhelms his Magura Gustavs and he ends up plowing straight into Spain, thus avoiding having to pay any back taxes to Paris.


Sadly, none of the above is likely to happen (with the exception of a Ratboy podium), so here's my guess for the boys:

1. Bruni - he's going to win at some point this season, so might as well be on his home turf.
2. Hill - even tho he looked kind of tired at Rotorua, I think the new bike suits him and will help make him a podium threat pretty much everywhere.
3. Gwin - he might actually stop by the wizard fountain in honor of OG euro Jeebus, but regardless, dude is looking fast and fit again.
4. Geezus - he also looked out of sorts in NZ, but last weekend's win at BDS confirmed he's still a force, especially on slimy tech tracks
5. Rat - Really hope I'm right here. He definitely put in a good showing at BDS, and who knows, he might have been holding back a bit.

girls:

1. Rach - I think she'll be out for vengeance this season after a lack luster 2014 campaign (by her standards anyway).
2. Manon - Proved she'll be on the podium all season with a win at BDS.
3. French Girl?? - shamefully, I can't recall if Ragot or other frenchy pinner ladies hung up the full face last season or not.
4. Hannah - making a lot of progress, but still just a bit back from the the UK ladies
5. Curd - impressive showing at BDS imo.
 
Last edited:
Feb 13, 2015
12
9
CT
I bet he'll never win a world cup again. A foot injury like that is something you never come back from again. Pedaling will be extermely painful for him for years to come.
i was pretty amazed he was riding again so fast after the injury, i guess thats what good physical therapy does. Are you a doctor?
 

SDet

Monkey
Nov 19, 2014
150
41
Boulder Co
That looks like a lot of fun. I would not mind giving it a shot, wouldn't be near as fast, probably case a few jumps, but fun.
 

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
5,911
2,176
in a single wide, cooking meth...
^^
So given how fast & rough the track seems to be, perhaps another question is how many of the top 20 threats will end up with flats? Based on the flat attack at Rotorua, there still does not appear to be a fool proof system to consistently keep in air in the tires. I was wondering if the procore system was going to be widely adopted assuming it really worked well for the WC guys. Would be wild to see teams sharpie'ing out Schwalbe tires :rolleyes:
 

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
5,911
2,176
in a single wide, cooking meth...
Yeah, I recall seeing those vids from last year, but I was assuming if it was really sorted, everyone would be running them and you wouldn't have so many flats at Rotorua. Maybe most teams are hesitant to adopt a new technology, but if I was a team manager and felt like it substantially improved my rider's chances of not flatting, I'd be all over it.
 

Dogboy

Turbo Monkey
Apr 12, 2004
3,130
251
Chapel Hill, NC
Yeah, I recall seeing those vids from last year, but I was assuming if it was really sorted, everyone would be running them and you wouldn't have so many flats at Rotorua. Maybe most teams are hesitant to adopt a new technology, but if I was a team manager and felt like it substantially improved my rider's chances of not flatting, I'd be all over it.
Schwalbe hasn't shipped any production units yet, so I imagine you'd have to be in tight (officially sponsored team) to get them at this point. Didn't watch Rotorua, who all flatted?
 

kidwoo

Celebrating No-Pants Day
Aug 25, 2003
22,446
2,121
In my pants
That inner procore thing is not going to make tires slice proof. It might make them more pliable to pointy things if you can run slightly lower pressures. But like everyone with a clue keeps saying........running low pressures on tires sucks dick in corners. It may work for dentists on 10k trail bikes on their new local flow trail but even bike reviewer types were bitching about it. You still need a supportive cornering tire. So just like when tubeless happened, don't listen to anyone saying run significantly lower pressures. So then you're back to a harder tire that punctures rather than folds around sharp things. I'm sure there's a balance in there somewhere just like everything tire related.

The fact that this was 'revealed' almost two years ago and still isn't being sold should tell you something.
 

norbar

Turbo Monkey
Jun 7, 2007
9,645
380
Warsaw :/
That inner procore thing is not going to make tires slice proof. It might make them more pliable to pointy things if you can run slightly lower pressures. But like everyone with a clue keeps saying........running low pressures on tires sucks dick in corners. It may work for dentists on 10k trail bikes on their new local flow trail but even bike reviewer types were bitching about it. You still need a supportive cornering tire. So just like when tubeless happened, don't listen to anyone saying run significantly lower pressures. So then you're back to a harder tire that punctures rather than folds around sharp things. I'm sure there's a balance in there somewhere just like everything tire related.

The fact that this was 'revealed' almost two years ago and still isn't being sold should tell you something.
They are working on creating a special valve standard so you have to buy a new pump. It will cost 300$ and will be replaced by an intermediate standard in 2 years when mavic produces a special standard rims for the system.


Foot doesn't look like it's bothering him much, psychological scars seem non existent too


People counting Ratboy out - remember a ton of old and crazy people go to Lourdes to get miracously cured. Maybe Ratboy still has a chance, he is crazy so it could work.



btw. No dirt fantasy league this year?
 

MFrider

Monkey
Jul 10, 2009
139
0
The East
Anyone have the schedule?
Track walk (usually when Claudio does his run!)
Timed runs
Qualifiers
I know the race is Sunday, I think 8:30 eastern time?
 

kidwoo

Celebrating No-Pants Day
Aug 25, 2003
22,446
2,121
In my pants
They are working on creating a special valve standard so you have to buy a new pump. It will cost 300$ and will be replaced by an intermediate standard in 2 years when mavic produces a special standard rims for the system.
You how I know you're lying?


Because mavic never does anything in two years.






;)
 

norbar

Turbo Monkey
Jun 7, 2007
9,645
380
Warsaw :/
You how I know you're lying?


Because mavic never does anything in two years.






;)
I didn't say the rim will be available to buy but that won't stop them from pushing the new standard. It's the future. Pushing standards without products. Since we all ride on the internet we might as well buy imaginary bikes composed completely of preorder parts that will come in 2 weeks (Santa Cruz time)
 

tomasis7

stroganoff
Nov 5, 2014
623
65
Electronic bong-shed LEGAL
That inner procore thing is not going to make tires slice proof. It might make them more pliable to pointy things if you can run slightly lower pressures. But like everyone with a clue keeps saying........running low pressures on tires sucks dick in corners. It may work for dentists on 10k trail bikes on their new local flow trail but even bike reviewer types were bitching about it. You still need a supportive cornering tire. So just like when tubeless happened, don't listen to anyone saying run significantly lower pressures. So then you're back to a harder tire that punctures rather than folds around sharp things. I'm sure there's a balance in there somewhere just like everything tire related.

The fact that this was 'revealed' almost two years ago and still isn't being sold should tell you something.
A couple of things i thought about:

-running tubeless with self-repairing function (having a flat in short time before the repair kicks in with co2 cartridge)
-riding procore allows to ride "flat" but faster than the hookless Gwin without tyres
-itd save crucial points for some WC riders who are prone to get flats (hello Ratboy!)
- skip carrying extra tube, tire, sealant and save the ultra expensive ENVE rim
- procore specific rims, would it allow some crazy bead design so you'd not get a crack on bead. saving weight on rim..??
-more useful for enduro? lol
etc. :D
 
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jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
5,911
2,176
in a single wide, cooking meth...
OK, but I'm assuming its been awhile since the last 'This is Peaty' episode, and the above linked hard hat cam (dated April 6th) shows the track to be pretty rough and raw, I'd say most, if not all, the dirt moving is finis. Plus, knowing Peaty and his penchant for making even the most hellish rock gardens look smooth, I can't imagine he'd be flowing the track up.
 

norbar

Turbo Monkey
Jun 7, 2007
9,645
380
Warsaw :/
Its facebook official. No Dirt fantasy league this year.
I don't care about it that much but no fantasy league, their site is shit in terms of content and their are closing their print division. Is it only me or is future killing dirt?