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another little writing

Dirtjumper999

Turbo Monkey
Feb 13, 2005
1,556
0
Charlotte, NC
Rejuvenation

No one understands the reason for mountain biking, or I should say few understand the reason behind it. It is a vast exploration of what nature has to offer us. It lets us capture the true essence of one of the most simple inventions in an entity that was our inventor.

"There's more to the bike that meets the eye", I always tell people that question my way of life. "Its not just a frame, a set of wheels, and some gears; a bike is a vessel that once you put your foot on the pedal and your hand on the bar; it becomes a part of your anatomy, like an extension. So that its not just a rider and a bike anymore, its one solid object." My bike and me can go anywhere we please. Thats mountain biking.

Every morning I wake up, I go out to walk around the woods behind my house. I always see the norm, but if an outsider came along, they'd see countless jumps and stunts that I continuously change to keep up with my rapid progression. When I'm in the woods, I breathe very deeply and look out into the woods; sometimes to the stunts, sometimes past them. Often times I don't move for ten minutes at a time. My neighbor always questions what I'm doing, "I'm taking it all in." He's not much of a nature person so he always replies with "Taking in what?"

Since we came from nature, its only right to return to it as much as possible.

Rejuvenation is when your body and mind gains more energy. You often feel rejuventated when you get back from camping or after a swim. You come back and say I feel better than ever. Feeling rejuvenated is an amazing feeling, and very rare for some people. You feel stronger, wiser, and almost like you could hold up the world for years and years. Thats the reason I ride mountain bikes, because every ride leaves me feeling rejuvenated.

:cool:
 

Dirtjumper999

Turbo Monkey
Feb 13, 2005
1,556
0
Charlotte, NC
mtnbrider said:
Cool! :thumb: Are you turning this in for something (if so, i found a few :D typos).

Yeah its the beginning of a 15 page essay for a class I'm taking. The paper is on combining to ironically different aspects of human life. i.e. Technologically advanced mountain biking, and very simple nature.
 

PatBranch

Turbo Monkey
Sep 24, 2004
10,451
9
wine country
Dirtjumper999 said:
Rejuvenation

No one understands the reason for mountain biking, or I should say few understand the reason behind it. It is a vast exploration (a little confusing) of what nature has to offer us. It lets us capture the true essence of one of the most simple inventions in an entity that was our inventor.

"There's more to the bike that (than?) meets the eye", I always tell people that question my way of life. "Its (It's)not just a frame, a set of wheels, and some gears; a bike is a vessel that once you put your foot (feet) on the pedal (pedals) and your hand (hands) on the bar; it becomes a part of your anatomy, like an extension. So that its (take away "So that" and capitalize "it's")(it's) not just a rider and a bike anymore, its (it's) one solid object." My bike and me (replace with "I") can go anywhere we please. Thats (That's) mountain biking.

Every morning (,) I wake up, I (remove "I")go out to walk around the woods behind my house. I always see the norm, but if an outsider came along, they'd see countless jumps and stunts that I continuously change to keep up with my rapid progression. When I'm (i'm) in the woods, I breathe very deeply and look out into the (adding something like "distant" would make it flow better because you said woods in both parts) woods; sometimes to the stunts, sometimes past them. Often times (,) I don't move for ten minutes at a time. My neighbor always questions (add "about") what I'm doing, ( make the comma a period) "I'm taking it all in (add something like ",I say")." He's not much of a nature person so he always replies with "Taking in what?"

Since we came ("come" might be better) from nature, its (it's) only right to return to it as much as possible.

Rejuvenation is when your body and mind gains (gain) more energy. You often feel rejuventated when you get back from camping or after a swim. You come back and say I feel better than ever. (Generally, it's better not use "you" in a formal essay; something like one or a person might be better.) Feeling rejuvenated (replace with "The feeling of rejuvination") an (replace "an" with "is") amazing feeling (take away "feeling"), and (is) very rare for some people. You feel stronger, ("and" instead of comma) wiser, and (make the comma a ";" and remove "and") almost like you could hold up the world for years and years. Thats (That's) the reason I ride mountain bikes, because (instead of "because", put a ";". every ride leaves me feeling rejuvenated.

(Generally, it's better not to use contractions (it's, wouldn't) in formal essays.)
:cool:

I found a few errors for you (there may be more) and gave you some suggestions to make it flow better. It's your choice to use them or not (obviously). It's really good despite the few grammar/structure errors. :ouch: :D :rofl: