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DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
I have an even better idea... dress up as pigeon and shi.t on their car from up in a tree.
For a long time I've been thinking about dressing up as a horse and doing the same thing on Sierra Club "protected" trails.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
So I should yell "Wu Tang" when I'm dropping off some used food for the hippies?
 

jebfour

Turbo Monkey
Jun 19, 2003
2,065
1,411
CLT, NC
There is no God, there is nothing but dirt waiting when our bodies expire.
I'm hardly a religious guy, but wern't you just talking about being Christian a month or so ago?

Also, just go over and talk to your neighbors. Explain your concerns and talk to them person to person. Yeah yeah, I know that it doesn't fit the RM "funny guy" criteria, but you might be surprised with their response due to it effecting your kids. If they don't understand then talk to the "powers that be". In fact, talking to them (the neighbors) would have been a good way to address it from the start (IMO).....
 
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worship_mud

Turbo Monkey
Dec 9, 2006
1,464
2
I'm hardly a religious guy, but wern't you just talking about being Christian a month or so ago?

Also, just go over and talk to your neighbors. Explain your concerns and talk to them person to person. Yeah yeah, I know that it doesn't fit the RM "funny guy" criteria, but you might be surprised with their response due to it effecting your kids. If they don't understand then talk to the "powers that be". In fact, talking to them (the neighbors) would have been a good way to address it from the start (IMO).....
dude, what's wrong with you?
since when are politness and sanity means to end a conflict???? :D
 

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
This will actually work.
So basically make a concoction of alka seltzer and bread? grind em all up together eh?

Well the town is going to do nothing, so I'm going to have to kill them off myself. Now what I would like to do is just go and buy a shotgun and just stand in my yard, killing them one by one. But that's too much fun, the law wont like that.

I wouldn't mind scaring the neighbors too. They all haven't had a good scare for a while. Just want to reinforce the fact that I'm not much of a people person.

So the only last sensible conclusion is the idea above. Or

Being I don't want to really mess with their stuff, and go on to their property, I'm going to build a BERD feeder and kill off all the FOUL (Hear that Mmike?)

FOUL

So here's the plan.
1. Build or buy bird feeder. I'd rather build one, that way I can make it huge and like 30 berds can feed at one time.

2. Mix some lard, rat poison and seed together. According to research, at least the pigeons will love this mix.

3. I'll also mix some apple seeds, chocolate, bread and alka seltzer on the other side perhaps.

4. Finally, this bird feeder is going to be black with a skull and crossbones on the side of it.

Any other sensible recommendations?

I want these things DED. DED, every last one of them. Since we (humans) have dominion over the animals of the Earth, including FOUL, I don't even have to feel guilty about this either.

I will post a pic of the feeder when completed.
 

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
but this is massachusetts, everything is illegal.

well for starters I just made a big bread/seltzer ball and put it out back and cleaned all the pigeon sh*t off the swingset. We'll see what transpires. Going to have to get some wood for the DEATH feeder.
 

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,077
5,995
borcester rhymes
what's the difference between committing rat or mouse genocide and flying rat (pig-e-on) genocide? You can kill the F*** out of as many rats as you want in your house, but because these are airborne, you can't?

Not saying killing them is the best solution, but you can glue a mouse to a piece of plastic then squish him with a rock, but you can't asplode the insides of Notorious P.I.G.eon?
 

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
With any luck, you'll do it, someone will cop to it and report you, and you can spend the next year in court entangled in well-deserved animal cruelty charges.

Straighten out.
Maybe you did not hear me. My 2 year old child is putting her hands in the filthy pigeon sh*t. These fools are attracting large numbers of pigeons to the area now.

I'm supposed to just pack the pipe and look out the window with a smile on my face ha?

I could care less about birds. They don't bother me. But when my child is putting her hands in it because everything we own is covered in it.

WAR!!!!!
 

Inclag

Turbo Monkey
Sep 9, 2001
2,752
442
MA
This doesn't seem overly complicated. Then again you don't seem to be much of a people person eh?
 

Secret Squirrel

There is no Justice!
Dec 21, 2004
8,150
1
Up sh*t creek, without a paddle
There was a great quote a little bit ago that fits this thread nicely.

Something to the effect of: "Why don't you just get real and fill a pillowcase with bars of soap, and beat him until he can't see in color anymore."

I think that has the makings of a great ending to this trainwreck of a thread.
 

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
Did you even talk to your neighbor ?


You have no right to kill those birds and you will probably be charged with multiple counts of animal cruelty if you do.
They are on my property. I can kill anything on my property. I consulted with a lawyer friend of mine about this. He laughed at the notion of being charged with anything for killing pigeons.
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,981
24,535
media blackout
They are on my property. I can kill anything on my property. I consulted with a lawyer friend of mine about this. He laughed at the notion of being charged with anything for killing pigeons.
I know that in certain states you are allowed to kill animals on your property if they are being a nuisance or creating a hazardous situation (in this case, bird sh*t is definitely a health hazard). In some states this even includes animals like deer, which typically require a hunting permit.


I think your problem might be the manner in which you kill them. Just get a 12 gauge and some buckshot.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
They are on my property. I can kill anything on my property. I consulted with a lawyer friend of mine about this. He laughed at the notion of being charged with anything for killing pigeons.
Actually, you can't and if a lawyer told you that you could, he's a dumbass. I dont know about pigeons specifically, but generally you need nuisance animal permits to do what you're talking about.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,448
1,975
Front Range, dude...
There was a great quote a little bit ago that fits this thread nicely.

Something to the effect of: "Why don't you just get real and fill a pillowcase with bars of soap, and beat him until he can't see in color anymore."

I think that has the makings of a great ending to this trainwreck of a thread.
Any thread in which RR is credited as having a good idea is bound for Wreck of the Ole 97 status...
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
22,100
1,150
NC
Actually, you can't and if a lawyer told you that you could, he's a dumbass. I dont know about pigeons specifically, but generally you need nuisance animal permits to do what you're talking about.
Does it surprise you that all of Knuck's friends, even practicing professionals, are full of dumb ideas?
 

Wumpus

makes avatars better
Dec 25, 2003
8,161
153
Six Shooter Junction
You should move to Texas...

State law will not permit the City of Carrollton to forbid the killing of certain nongame birds, including the feral pigeons--Columba livia--about which you ask. Section 64.002(b) of the Parks and Wildlife Code specifically provides: "European starlings, English sparrows, and feral rock doves (Columba livia) may be killed at any times and their nests or eggs may be destroyed." tex. Parks & Wild. Code Ann. § 64.002 (Vernon Supp. 1999).

full ordinance said:
Wild Birds: All wild birds that migrate through or are indigenous to Texas, along with their plumage or other parts, eggs, nests and young are protected from harming, killing and/or possession by state and federal law except that European starlings, English sparrows, and feral pigeons may be killed at any time and their nests and eggs may be destroyed. A permit is not required to control grackles; cowbirds; yellow-headed, red-winged, rusty or Brewer's blackbirds; crows or magpies when these birds are considered a nuisance or causing a public health hazard. No birds may be controlled by any means considered illegal by local city or county ordinance.

http://www.tpwd.state.tx.us/huntwild/wild/rehab/protected/
 
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Da Peach

Outwitted by a rodent
Jul 2, 2002
13,683
4,912
North Van
Why do I get the feeling that there's a thread out there somewhere on "ihatemypsychoneighbor.com" discussing this whole problem from "a hole nother" perspective?
 

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
I'm still laughing about "enormous amounts of foul"......
The hillarious thing Mike is that I looked up the F'N word to ensure I spelled it correctly and still F'D it up, LOL. Then I go and send an anonymous email to the board of health, cc'ing the mayor and I sent the mail with my mail address that has my full name attached to the address. LOFL.

I'm a total loss.

On the subject of killing birds. In the bible it says man has dominion over the animals of the Earth. So end of story. God says it's ok, so FU!!!! ROFL

Now, one would think. With all the disfunction on the planet. Rape, murder, violence, terrorism; killing a few nuisance pigeons is not a big thing in the grand scheme of things. I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill them all and I'm not going to go to jail over it either, you can take that to the bank.

I'm going to kill them. I'm going to take pictures of it, and I'm going to f****ng get all the dead FOUL into a pile, pour gas on it and light them ablaze and video tape it and put it on F'N youtube too.

Think I'm kidding? I got a fuse so short, you can't see it.