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Another stupid criminal thread......

manimal

Ociffer Tackleberry
Feb 27, 2002
7,214
14
Blindly running into cactus
wow, twice in one week i get to tell you monkies about a true idiot and hopefully this will tide you over until i hear back from the myspace case. ;)

i was in FEDERAL court yesterday to testify in a suppression hearing on a gun case. i caught the defendant actively shooting a pistol behind an apartment complex on the 4th of july last year. the def. is a convicted felon and a validated gang member with a lengthy record for violent crimes. (defense attorney was trying to suppress the arrest by trying to argue that i had no reason to stop her client....even though i CAUGHT HIM SHOOTING a pistol. needless to say, she lost the motion to suppress.)
anyway, onto the good part. the defendants brother is also a gang member who i've arrested numerous times for violent crimes and he REALLY doesn't likeme. he is also facing some federal charges himself. before the case was heard, the brother kept pacing back and forth in the lobby where i was waiting for my turn to testify. he'd give me the "evil eye" and mumble the usual cop slurs and eff you's under his breath.
so after i testified i went back into the lobby to await word from the u.s. attorney on the results of the case. i was standing in the hall, talking with a FEDERAL MARSHALL COURT OFFICER when the def's brother comes into the lobby and starts cussing me out. he then proceeded to say: "i'll see you on the street b!tch! i'll take yo pig a$$ out, eff you! eff you! ....."
before i could even respond with a wink and a smile, the Fed Marshall had him twisted up like a pretzel and the "click-click" of the handcuffs could be heard over his rantings. i looked at the FED for some explanation and he said, "he just threatened a federal witness and that's a felony."
:rofl: ahahahahahahahaha.....i just quietly walked away and withheld my laughter until i got into my car.
again, you can't fix stupid :D
 

stosh

Darth Bailer
Jul 20, 2001
22,107
217
NY
Ha you saw someone out in public at an apartment complex and you should have stopped them. HA HA HA!!!

I'm not sure if that argument is actually funnier than the brother getting arrested.
 

brungeman

I give a shirt
Jan 17, 2006
5,173
0
da Burgh
funny story Manimal!

a few years back I told some kids to get out of the hall, and one of them called me a "faggot"... I wrote it up as a detention... the principal looked at it and said I can do one better. It seams that the kid had been a pain in the ass for quite a while running his mouth etc. The school took him to court and he was found guilty of (not just stupidity) verbal assault. He was 18 and was no stranger to the magistrate. He got a $256 fine and was pleasant as punch the rest of the year! :rofl:

Good luck... I don't think this kid was as hard @ssed as the G-bangers you deal with!
 

Jeremy R

<b>x</b>
Nov 15, 2001
9,534
618
behind you with a snap pop
:

Good luck... I don't think this kid was as hard @ssed as the G-bangers you deal with!
Yeah sure, but it is a slippery slope.
One minute they are calling you names, and the next minute
you are staring down at a 5'4 pure gansta female wielding a cold cup of coffee. And you only have a split second to decide whether someone dies today or the sidewalk gets a coffee stain.
Ya gotta take it one day at a time............one day at a time.
 

Greyhound

Trail Rat
Jul 8, 2002
5,060
356
Alamance County, NC
Yeah sure, but it is a slippery slope.
One minute they are calling you names, and the next minute
you are staring down at a 5'4 pure gansta female weilding a cold cup of coffee. And you only have a split second to decide whether someone dies today or the sidewalk gets a coffee stain.
Ya gotta take it one day at a time............one day at a time.
Now I hope you monkies are paying attention here......do you see what's going on? Jeremy is simultaneously making sport of this idiot from the courtoom WHILE AT THE SAME TIME poking a stick at a Stinky thread. That's comedic multitasking at it finest, folks. You gotta keep up here at the monkey or you're gonna be lost. :brows:
 

Damo

Short One Marshmallow
Sep 7, 2006
4,604
20
French Alps
Why is that when I really need to give out rep, I am rep'd out. Will someone take care of this for me?







I'll pay you.
 

Kevin

Turbo Monkey
Allthough this is very entertaining, at a certain point you could run into the wrong guy. Unfortunatly, these days that wrong guy can easily be someones little brother packing a semi auto.
I just hope we dont ever read about that on the monkey...

On a more serious note,

No way in hell would I have kept a straight face till i was in my car :busted::busted:
 

manimal

Ociffer Tackleberry
Feb 27, 2002
7,214
14
Blindly running into cactus
Manimal, if we paid for it, would you get this?

umm, it would look more like an aerial shot of a spider suit in the forest ;) edit: that tatt would look terrible if the dude gets fat and grows his saggy MANorries.

KEVIN: Allthough this is very entertaining, at a certain point you could run into the wrong guy. Unfortunatly, these days that wrong guy can easily be someones little brother packing a semi auto.
I just hope we dont ever read about that on the monkey...
now you folks see why most cops carry ALL THE TIME. i've lost count of the times i've run into one of my frequent flyers while shopping or out to eat/movies w/ my family. my family knows what to do when i give the "codeword" if a situation like that turns into something bad, we've even practiced it a few times to make sure that my wife can run with the girls in her arms :twitch:

on a side note: that wasn't the first time that punk threatened me, i almost had to shoot him the night we caught his brother shooting. my partner had the shooter in handcuffs and i had my gun in my right hand and the shooter's gun in my left. the idiot brother tried to block our exit out of the complex and took his shirt off like he was going to fight us. i pointed both guns at him and told him i didn't have a free hand to whoop his a$$ with so i'd have to shoot him w/ his brothers gun if he didn't move. his "boys" came and made him move ;)
 

brungeman

I give a shirt
Jan 17, 2006
5,173
0
da Burgh
Yeah sure, but it is a slippery slope.
One minute they are calling you names, and the next minute
you are staring down at a 5'4 pure gansta female weilding a cold cup of coffee. And you only have a split second to decide whether someone dies today or the sidewalk gets a coffee stain.
Ya gotta take it one day at a time............one day at a time.
I'd a shanked her foriegn ass!