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Anyone know the #1 & #2 security priorities on Dubya's trips abroad?

Tenchiro

Tenchiro

Attention K Mart Shoppers
Jul 19, 2002
5,407
0
New England
Talk about paranoia... I wonder who the presidential fecal handler is?


Even Bush's Feces & Urine Are Classified Top Secret
All Of It Captured And Flown Back From Europe
By Wayne Madsen
WayneMadsenReport.com
7-5-6

Even Bush's crap is classified top secret. According to our Austrian sources, Austrian newspapers are currently abuzz with special security details of George W. Bush's recent trip to Vienna. Although the heavy-handed Gestapo-like security measures meted out to Viennese home owners, business proprietors, and pedestrians by US Secret Service agents and local police before and during Bush's visit received widespread Austrian media attention, it was White House "toilet security" ("TOILSEC"), which has Austrians talking the most.

The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material. One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop.

In the past, similar operations were conducted against foreign leaders to determine their medical condition. However, these intelligence operations were directed against dictators in countries where even the medical conditions of the top political leaders were considered "state secrets."

The Israeli Mossad conducted one such operation against Syrian President Hafez Assad when he visited Amman, Jordan in Feb. 1999 for the funeral of King Hussein. The Mossad and its Jordanian counterpart installed a special toilet in Assad's hotel room that led not to a pipe but to a specimen canister. Assad suffered from diabetes and cancer and the operation was designed to discover the actual medical condition of the ailing leader.

During Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev's visit to Washington in 1987, the CIA reportedly placed a special trap under a sewage tank to collect the Soviet leader's bodily waste for analysis.

More recently, the CIA was reported to have collected waste samples from Ugandan President-dictator Yoweri Museveni's toilet when he visited Washington.

Even Bush's toilet paper was flown in from the U.S. Air Base at Ramstein, Germany. In addition, Bush's food was flown in from the United States and tested with special chemicals before he ate it. Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, who was shot by a firing squad in 1989, was the last major European leader to constantly use a food tester. The last frequent state visitor to Vienna, who always relied on a food tester, was Adolf Hitler.
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BurlyShirley

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
Silver said:
I imagine they don't want someone doing a piss test and finding huge amounts of prozac, ritalin, and cocaine...
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Well, we did elect him as a representative of US citizens...
 
Changleen

Changleen

Paranoid Member
Jan 9, 2004
14,919
2,886
Pōneke
It's really because he's a hologram and holograms don't poop. They're just trying to keep that quiet.
 
DRB

DRB

unemployed bum
Oct 24, 2002
15,242
0
Watchin' you. Writing it all down.
Ridemonkey said:
As the leader of the monkey I always poo in a jar then fling it. Keeps foreign dicators away.
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You could put someone's eye out that way. Just poo in your hand. It works for the real monkey.

As for Bush, so what? Another of those stupid idiotic things that takes the focus off the important crap..... (ha ha I made a funny).
 
N8 v2.0

N8 v2.0

Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Oct 18, 2002
11,003
149
The Cleft of Venus
DRB said:
You could put someone's eye out that way. Just poo in your hand. It works for the real monkey.

As for Bush, so what? Another of those stupid idiotic things that takes the focus off the important crap..... (ha ha I made a funny).
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show me the funny
 
rockwool

rockwool

Turbo Monkey
Apr 19, 2004
2,658
0
Filastin
Maybe he just has a hard time taking a poo in toilets away from home?


BurlyShirley said:
What a sh!tty job that would be...
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I wonder, did they grab a couple of plummers and gave them security clearance to handle presidential poo, or a couple of secret service guys and got them a plumbing speed course?
 
Old Man G Funk

Old Man G Funk

Choir Boy
Nov 21, 2005
2,864
0
In a handbasket
rockwool said:
Maybe he just has a hard time taking a poo in toilets away from home?




I wonder, did they grab a couple of plummers and gave them security clearance to handle presidential poo, or a couple of secret service guys and got them a plumbing speed course?
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Maybe they got a few illegals to do it.
 
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