[I Are Baboon]

OR we could just have another O_D on our hands

That certainly did cross my mind.

 

[dh girlie]

Obviously, it was a reckless thing for me to do and I certainly wouldn't have done so had there been other cars in the vicinity, but I laughed SO hard about it to myself the rest of the way home. Little did the guy know that I had three more lacrosse balls waiting for him had he maintained his aggresive stance on my tailgate!

I think you did the right thing, LL...it was harmless, but enough to put the scare into him...maybe he will think twice before doing it again and really causing a crash...

 

[-BB-]

Since some people draw vicarious pleasure from my tempermental responses to idiocy, here's the most evil thing I've done to a smoker*-

About 6 months ago on 270N just South of Gaithersburg, I had some a-hole in a contractor van(w/ ladder rack, of course) tailgate me MAD close in the left-hand lane. Even though there was another car right in front of me preventing me from going any faster, I can see the idiot shouting and cursing in my rearview as if I was to blame for holding him up. He jerks the car into the right hand lane, accelerates past me and then cuts me off, just barely avoiding contact(because I had to brake hard). As if that alone was not bad enough, this cretin then lobs his lit cigarette up and back landing it perfectly on my windshield. It was a great throw, as I could in that brief moment even smell the smoke that was drawn into my cowl and interior before it flew over my car.

Well, I happened to be in my wife's SUV which has a retractable moonroof, so I accelerated past that small group of cars and got over(without making anyone brake) several cars ahead of the idiot...and opened the moonroof. As expected, the 'tard went into pursuit mode and tried to get ahead of me again. He almost passed me on the right but a merging semi slowed him up and had to settle for cutting off the car that was now behind me. There was a big break in traffic ahead of me(rare in the D.C. metro area, but it was fortunately late at night), so I accellerated hard perhaps 500 yards ahead of the other neighboring cars with this lunatic ranting at his windshield right on my azz. Now earlier that day, I had collected several lacrosse balls from my backyard while mowing(a neighbor loses them in my yard regularly because he uses my fence for his backstop) and my wife wanted them out of the house after my daughter almost broke a window with one. I reached into the center console, retrieved a fluorescent orange ball and lobbed it up out the top of the moonroof. I threw it too high up, though, so the first ball bounded off his ladder rack into the underbrush and caused him to brake hard in shock. He recovered quickly, though, and was soon back on my bumper again. This time, I rolled a yellow lacrosse ball into one of the roof channels just behind the moonroof and it flew off the back of the SUV RIGHT INTO HIS WINDSHIELD! I don't believe it shattered, but that nut hit his brakes so hard afterwards that he fishtailed out of control and almost rolled his van. I took the opportunity to accellerate hard again, lost him and never saw him again after that.

Obviously, it was a reckless thing for me to do and I certainly wouldn't have done so had there been other cars in the vicinity, but I laughed SO hard about it to myself the rest of the way home. Little did the guy know that I had three more lacrosse balls waiting for him had he maintained his aggresive stance on my tailgate!


* besides the time I slammed a guy in his own truck door repeatedly until the police arrived, but his burning of me with his butt was incidental and I have already told that story here before.

LOL... I did the same exact thing to someone, but instead of a Lacross ball (btw, I was on my way to a Lacross game) I tossed out a Boston Creme dounut (from Dunkin )
It hit him right in the windshield and went SPLAT!!
Chocolate icing and custard EVERYWHERE



No more Tailgating. neaky:

 

[dh girlie]

LOL... I did the same exact thing to someone, but instead of a Lacross ball (btw, I was on my way to a Lacross game) I tossed out a Boston Creme dounut (from Dunkin )
It hit him right in the windshield and went SPLAT!!
Chocolate icing and custard EVERYWHERE



No more Tailgating. neaky:

HAHA! The guy probably thought...Brad Pitt just threw a donut at my windshield!

 

[-BB-]

HAHA! The guy probably thought...Brad Pitt just threw a donut at my windshield!

I was kinda tan back then, so I looked more like Tyson Beckford.

 

[SkaredShtles]

LOL... I did the same exact thing to someone, but instead of a Lacross ball (btw, I was on my way to a Lacross game) I tossed out a Boston Creme dounut (from Dunkin )
It hit him right in the windshield and went SPLAT!!
Chocolate icing and custard EVERYWHERE



No more Tailgating. neaky:

Niiiiiiice!

I usually just try to get out of the way of tailgaters, but if someone is being particularly prickish I'll hit my gas and hit the brake pedal enough that my brake lights come on but I'm pulling away from them. That way there's no chance of them compounding their idiocy by a$$-packing me.

Very effective, especially if they're doing 75 and 6 feet from your bumper.

-S.S.-

 

[dhtahoe]

Yeah, check out Fort Ord after the Sea Otter has gone thru.....

Not true... I work for SOC and this is just plain not true. The SOC staff goes around for the week after the event to pick up trash.

 

[Curb Hucker]

LOL... I did the same exact thing to someone, but instead of a Lacross ball (btw, I was on my way to a Lacross game) I tossed out a Boston Creme dounut (from Dunkin )
It hit him right in the windshield and went SPLAT!!
Chocolate icing and custard EVERYWHERE



No more Tailgating. neaky:

Hmm it seems like im not the only one who likes to throw stuff out of their moonroof. I had some dick in a benz coupe tailgating me at 45 on a 4 lane road, he could have easily passed me but no. Long story short his nice black benz got decorated with 3/4 of an XL strawberry milkshake.

 

[dhtahoe]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Yes Don that rules!!!! I want to do a Jame Bond oil slick/ smoke screen thing. D-cell batteries work well too. Carry those on road rides... they get good distance.

 

[Curb Hucker]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Yes Don that rules!!!! I want to do a Jame Bond oil slick/ smoke screen thing. D-cell batteries work well too. Carry those on road rides... they get good distance.

ya, but the most fun thing to do on a roadtrip with multiple vehicles is to box someone in. We had a guy tailgating one of our cars, so I got infront of him, one of us got behind him, another on the side. Slowed him to a stop on the indiana turnpike late at night. I had everyone in my car open their doors, like that he flew into the grass median and took off like a bat outta hell, good times

 

[The Toninator]

no, i mean NO tailgator is worth a doughnut.

 

[The Toninator]

no, i mean NO tailgator is worth a doughnut.

well maybe a krespy kream or a tim horton but not a dunkin.

 

[COmtbiker12]

Hmm it seems like im not the only one who likes to throw stuff out of their moonroof. I had some dick in a benz coupe tailgating me at 45 on a 4 lane road, he could have easily passed me but no. Long story short his nice black benz got decorated with 3/4 of an XL strawberry milkshake.

BWAHAHAHAHA That's great Don!!! Makes me feel bad that my car doesn't have a moonroof Oh well, I'm sure I can figure out various ways to do things like that.

 

[SkaredShtles]

BWAHAHAHAHA That's great Don!!! Makes me feel bad that my car doesn't have a moonroof Oh well, I'm sure I can figure out various ways to do things like that.

You mean like rolling down a window.....?

-S.S.-

 

[Curb Hucker]

BWAHAHAHAHA That's great Don!!! Makes me feel bad that my car doesn't have a moonroof Oh well, I'm sure I can figure out various ways to do things like that.

Just be happy yours doesnt have 2. While heading to a race a friend of mine put on his TLD helmet and goggles and stuck his head out the rear moonroof while we were going about 90mph. He said it flet like he was indy racing

 

[COmtbiker12]

Just be happy yours doesnt have 2. While heading to a race a friend of mine put on his TLD helmet and goggles and stuck his head out the rear moonroof while we were going about 90mph. He said it flet like he was indy racing

lol. That'd be sweet.

 

[mack]

I thinks its OK to throw food producs out the window, like banana peels and stuff like that. Plastics are a nono!


One time my cousin got up outta the sun roof in trafic and shot this dick in a civc with like 40 paintballs. I was 6 and that memory is still with me!

 

[mack]

* besides the time I slammed a guy in his own truck door repeatedly until the police arrived, but his burning of me with his butt was incidental and I have already told that story here before.

TELL IT AGAIN! or can you post a link. id like to hear that one.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

Wha hoppneda O_D?

Golf balls work pretty well, but we have discussed that before...

J

 

[-BB-]

well maybe a krespy kream or a tim horton but not a dunkin.

It was a few days old.

 

[llkoolkeg]

TELL IT AGAIN! or can you post a link. id like to hear that one.

Short version('cause it'd take less time than searching my old posts):

I was taking a left hand turn off Backlick Road into a gas station when a guy who was tailgating me tries to turn from behind me into the same gas station first. He misjudges which entrance I was taking and inadvertently almost rear-ends me. He ends up locking his brakes and skidding past me on the left, knocking my break-away driver's side truck mirror forward(but doing it no real damage). As I am about to get out of my car to survey the possible damage and get his insurance information, he races up to my door in a blind rage, yanks open my door handle and says he's going to kill me. When I step from my vehicle, he suddenly realizes that I am about 2" taller and 50# heavier, so he throws a lame 1st punch at my ample midsection(to no effect other than a deep, cauterized cigarette burn that I didn't even notice until I got undressed for bed that night). I grab his punching cigarette hand and twist it behind his back when he shakes free and runs back to his truck saying, "I'm going to get my gun and shoot you!" He starts rummaging under the front seat as I arrive, so I grab his closest arm and start slamming his truck door on his body repeatedly with all my strength and weight. His nasty woman in the passenger seat starts screaming hysterically(I hadn't even noticed her before) as I buffett his torso with door slams when a Fairfax County cop arrives and does a squealing 180 onto the scene. The cop(actually, an attractive lady cop) draws her weapon and orders me to stop beating him, so I slowly retreat to my own vehicle with arms up. I sit down in my truck with the door open and immediately remove my switchblade from my pocket and ditch it behind my truck seat between the kicker boxes and amp. The cop checks on the redneck to make sure he doesn't need an ambulance then comes over to me as another unit and pair of cops arrive. I tell the cop what happened so she heads over to the redneck's truck and does a search for the handgun(which in reality does not exist). The four cops then question all the witnesses(a crowd had gathered in the gas station parking lot) and determine that although my story was the correct one, the 'neck really had no gun. They then make both of us write out all our personal information(name, address, etc.) on 3 pieces of paper. They give the redneck's info to me, mine to him and keep a copy for themselves saying that, "if anything happens to either of you in the next year, we'll know who our prime suspect is!" I'm all pissed off that nothing is going to happen to this punk(I wanted him arrested), but the cops say that they never heard him say anything about a gun, there WAS no gun, there is no vehicle damage, nobody has to go to the hospital and the only assault they witnessed was the one I performed on him as they arrived. They then say my only option is to go to the Mount Vernon district station and swear out a warrant on the guy, but that they would personally not be able to do anything about it. Already now late for the party I was going to, I get into my truck begrudgingly and leave. I never pressed charges and never had any other encounter or dealings with the guy afterwards.

Total score:

Me- a cigarette hole through one of my favorite shirts(and an eighth of an inch into my belly)

Him- probably 20 good slams of the door onto his torso, but no obvious blood or damage; my only solace was that I know he was feeling it bad once the adrenaline wore off...and that I handed him his ass right in front of his ugly woman even though he had first crack at the plate

Come to think of it, it would have taken less time probably to find my original account. I'm not very good at abridging my stories.

 

[mack]

Dude, nicely done!


You remind me of the guy In "snatch" who is slaming a guys head in his car door when his phone rings. So he stops the banging and picks up the car phone and answers in a sweet voice.

"Bonjur!" (sp?)

 

[boehm]

Another handy tailgating tool is thoes little packages of syrup from a fast food joint. Explode pretty good and impossible to clean.

 

[bmxr]

Good stories all. I ride motorcycles, too and I have been hit by butts JRA many times, not to mention all the other intentional nonsense jerkwads in their big cars and trucks do . I am surprised I haven't killed anyone yet.