Asking the father for his daughter in marriage?
- Thread starter LordOpie
- Start date
Is this really happnening? No kidding? This might be the first thing you've done concerning this wedding that has some actual CLASS!
Just don't knock on his back door, and you should be fine.LordOpie said:
Take him out for a decent meal, to get to know him and bring it up at dinner.
Mine went something like, " sir, i've already tasted, mounted and cream coated her, so is it ok if i marry her too?"
Seriously, props for asking. Just be as genuine, heart on sleeve type attitude. Quiver your bottom lip too.
Seriously, props for asking. Just be as genuine, heart on sleeve type attitude. Quiver your bottom lip too.
Just say, even though I have been getting the milk for free,
I am ready to buy the cow.
I am ready to buy the cow.
Fine, you're not invited to our Casa Bonita Wedding Spectacular! :mumble:Full Trucker said:Is this really happnening? No kidding? This might be the first thing you've done concerning this wedding that has some actual CLASS!
I see him almost everyday... my girl drops our dog off in the morning to play with their dog during the day. I almost asked him tonightChangleen said:You might want to call him first so he's not all "Who the hell is this guy?"
Maybe not a goat per se, but if the guy has a sense of humour maybe you should consider bringing a dowry! That would be CLASSIC!LordOpie said:
(Although it might kill the sincerity factor, who knows... ?)
What would you do if he said no?
I've always thought the whole act was a bit insulting to the woman.
I've always thought the whole act was a bit insulting to the woman.
do people still do this? i thought ward cleaver was the last documented case.
yeah it's the thought that counts, but it strikes me as silly and unnecessary. my wife could decide for herself, she didn't need parental acquiesence. don't get me wrong, my father-in-law and i get along fine, and it wouldn't have been an issue. just seems archaic and somewhat undermining to the woman's position in the whole thing.
yeah it's the thought that counts, but it strikes me as silly and unnecessary. my wife could decide for herself, she didn't need parental acquiesence. don't get me wrong, my father-in-law and i get along fine, and it wouldn't have been an issue. just seems archaic and somewhat undermining to the woman's position in the whole thing.
dammit, westy beat me by a few femtoseconds.
From what I gather, these days it's not so much about asking for PERMISSION, as it is to ask for the father's blessing on the marriage. I think that way it recognizes the woman's ability to make her own life decisions, but is still respectful of tradition...narlus said:
Or something...
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!stevew said:
sounds like something rhino would do.Full Trucker said:
my girl insists that I ask him.Westy said:
I mean, we've already choosen the date: June 2, 2007
We've already choosen where we're honeymooning: two weeks in Italy.
We know who's going to perform the wedding.
And we've got some location ideas.
hahah, yeah!stevew said:
I second what narlus and westy said. It seems very insulting to women. My girlfriend can make up her own mind when I ask her. If her parents approve, then great, if not, oh well.
Yeah, it's definitely her decision, but asking the father for his daughter's hand is kind of like asking to be part of the family; you're going to be calling him your dad anyhow.narlus said:
Get him drunk first, unless he's a violent drunk.
<easy money>
"can i call you dad?"
</easy money>
"can i call you dad?"
</easy money>
Westy said:
- not insulting. it's sweet. ...actually depends on the woman.
I asked my father in law for his daughters hand. I think it's only insulting to the woman if you and the father take the "permission" part seriously. It doesn't so much show that you think she's property, rather that you respect and appreciate everything that this man did for the woman you love. He (and his wife) raised, taught and generaly shaped her into the person that you fell in love with.
Anyhoo... back on track... when I asked it made not only the father in law ecstatic, it went a looooooooong way with both my wife and her mom.
I took him out for a beer. I had tried to plan it but it turned out kinda spur of the moment. We were walking around the beach and decided to stop for a beer. The conversation turned to the seriousness of life and love and the future and all that so I figured that now was as good a time as any. I said something like, I love your daughter, we've been through lot, you have known me for a long time, yadda yadda... it would be my great honor if you would grant me your permission to ask for your daughters hand in marriage..." (Or something like that)
I had never really seen a man "beam" before.
Do it. Do it right. You will thank yourself later.
And don't take any goats or other livestock as gifts. It's the fathers responsibility to provide YOU with such gifts as part of the dowrey.
Congratulations, and may luck and eloquence shine on you at that most crucial of moments.
Anyhoo... back on track... when I asked it made not only the father in law ecstatic, it went a looooooooong way with both my wife and her mom.
I took him out for a beer. I had tried to plan it but it turned out kinda spur of the moment. We were walking around the beach and decided to stop for a beer. The conversation turned to the seriousness of life and love and the future and all that so I figured that now was as good a time as any. I said something like, I love your daughter, we've been through lot, you have known me for a long time, yadda yadda... it would be my great honor if you would grant me your permission to ask for your daughters hand in marriage..." (Or something like that)
I had never really seen a man "beam" before.
Do it. Do it right. You will thank yourself later.
And don't take any goats or other livestock as gifts. It's the fathers responsibility to provide YOU with such gifts as part of the dowrey.
Congratulations, and may luck and eloquence shine on you at that most crucial of moments.
lettemonkey said:
I like the idea of asking for a blessing much more than permission. I think that's getting off to a good start with your future inlaws. All this of course assumes she's got a decent relationship with her dad.
geargrrl
LordOpie said:
I bet she and her father are in cahoots. He is going to haze the crap out of you to show your dedication while they both laugh their asses off. At least that is what I hope happens.
see, that's the problem...i would have asked for a more, uh, delicate part of the anatomy...Ciaran said:
J
JRB
Guest
As dumb as Brian usually is, this is funny.Brian HCM#1 said:
R
richcreek
Guest
There is some awsome riding over there! Good choice!
My wife and I went to our parents together...that way, they knew we were both ready and in agreement. She asked my dad...that was a bit wierd....but he has a good sense of humor....
I find it rather odd as well. But if she insists.
My wife and I simply told all our family.
Of course it helped that they're all 1200 miles away.
My wife and I simply told all our family.
Of course it helped that they're all 1200 miles away.
Were you holding your Mace in one hand......just in case?Ciaran said:I asked my father in law for his daughters hand. I think it's only insulting to the woman if you and the father take the "permission" part seriously. It doesn't so much show that you think she's property, rather that you respect and appreciate everything that this man did for the woman you love. He (and his wife) raised, taught and generaly shaped her into the person that you fell in love with.
Anyhoo... back on track... when I asked it made not only the father in law ecstatic, it went a looooooooong way with both my wife and her mom.
I took him out for a beer. I had tried to plan it but it turned out kinda spur of the moment. We were walking around the beach and decided to stop for a beer. The conversation turned to the seriousness of life and love and the future and all that so I figured that now was as good a time as any. I said something like, I love your daughter, we've been through lot, you have known me for a long time, yadda yadda... it would be my great honor if you would grant me your permission to ask for your daughters hand in marriage..." (Or something like that)
I had never really seen a man "beam" before.
Do it. Do it right. You will thank yourself later.
And don't take any goats or other livestock as gifts. It's the fathers responsibility to provide YOU with such gifts as part of the dowrey.
Congratulations, and may luck and eloquence shine on you at that most crucial of moments.
This is all bass-ackwards. He's supposed to give *YOU* a bunch of cows and wine and stuff to take her off his hands........... 
Funny, I've been thinking about this lately as well
My girlfriends twin sister got engaged on Christmas. Her sister's boyfriend asked their dad, and it kinda made him mad. He doesnt like the guy and doesnt want them to get married, but he said that he knew they would do it anyway so he said they had his blessing. His words were "what am I supposed to say? No? then they will get married out of spite."
Now, in my case, her dad loves me and we hang out fairly often. I think he would be honest with me, and I would respect whatever he said. In the event that he says no, or its too soon, or whatever, I would take that into heavy consideration.
My girlfriends twin sister got engaged on Christmas. Her sister's boyfriend asked their dad, and it kinda made him mad. He doesnt like the guy and doesnt want them to get married, but he said that he knew they would do it anyway so he said they had his blessing. His words were "what am I supposed to say? No? then they will get married out of spite."
Now, in my case, her dad loves me and we hang out fairly often. I think he would be honest with me, and I would respect whatever he said. In the event that he says no, or its too soon, or whatever, I would take that into heavy consideration.