[ktmsx]

Icy hot + ballzakk = Baaaaddddd time for squirrel....thought it was going to be like Gold Bond....boy was I wrong.

Icy hot.!!!..dammmm.that must of been a loooong ride...

 

[robdamanii]

Hi, I'm Rob, and I'm a taint slatherer.

I use it on my long MTB rides to keep my butt nice and happy. I swear by the stuff.

 

[SkaredShtles]

I've never used it and never had saddle sores. Maybe I'm just lucky.

 

[llkoolkeg]

Yes, it feels like you sh!t yourself. Rather liberating actually.

I have had *mild* saddle sores from prolonged riding on rough trails, but I just showered and changed drawers an extra time per day until all was well. Of course I understand that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, but when I reflect back on the couple times I've actually $hit myself(to a small degree), I found the experience highly overrated and have never sought to repeat it. If you would like to experience that oh-so-free feeling once again, here is a foolproof recipe:

Go for a long weekend on a camping/riding/fishing trip, making sure to pack your cooler with an assortment of beers, meats and artificial snack foods. Physically exhaust yourself all day then drink all night long, pausing only long enough to devour spicy grilled-on-a-stick meats and processed snacks. For quicker results, substitute quality foods and beers with the cheapies obtainable at the remote mom-n-pop general store near your campsite. Grab a thick, new bike magazine, sit back and await the impending onset of your lubricating liberation.

 

[narlus]

Are you supposed to apply it to your crack or to the chamois? If the prior, do you use your bare hand or a sock or something?

set the controls for the heart of the taint.

and then reach into the community pretzel jar and grab a handful.

 

[I Are Baboon]

I like pretzels.

 

[cannondalejunky]

Oh man i swear you guys aren't going to believe this ..........
Down south we have a product called Boudreux's Butt Paste.
Honest.

i belive you...we sold it at the grocery store i used to work at along with this stuff called "diaper doo"

i even took a picture of the butt paste just because i thought it was so funny at the time

 

[sanjuro]

I am going to make a million dollars here in San Francisco selling ass butter.

 

[DHS]

 

[ElTORO]

Wow!!! And Rodies think Downhillers are weird.

 

[Biscuit]

I can't believe there are four pages about ass butter.

 

[VaNIlLin81]

I can't believe there are four pages about ass butter.

 

[cannondalejunky]

my army buddies always complain about getting monkey butt...cause you're only allowed one roll every month or so...so if you run out you're kinda screwed and end up gettin monkey butt

 

[Rip]

I am now traumatized.

 

[VaNIlLin81]

I am now traumatized.

My brain, my brain hurts!!!

 

[Changleen]

Perhaps I just have a macho hangup or something, but I would rather cultivate a calloused and leathered burlap beanbag than crisco-up my ballzakk bits before a ride. The very concept seems so nasty to me

 

[skinny mike]

no ass cream for me, but i have trimmed the hedges a few times because long, hot rides mean itchy nuts.

 

[robdamanii]

no ass cream for me, but i have trimmed the hedges a few times because long, hot rides mean itchy nuts.

Is this turning into a shaved junk thread?



Actually, I've found that's one of the BEST ways to prevent some nastiness.

 

[skinny mike]

Is this turning into a shaved junk thread?



Actually, I've found that's one of the BEST ways to prevent some nastiness.

do nipple rings help to keep your jersey from chafing?

 

[SkaredShtles]

Is this turning into a shaved junk thread?

Turning? WTF do you mean turning?

 

[SkaredShtles]

i belive you...we sold it at the grocery store i used to work at along with this stuff called "diaper doo"

i even took a picture of the butt paste just because i thought it was so funny at the time

Ahhhhhahahhahahaha! I've got a tube of that in the seatback pocket of the van. It was for some heinous diaper rash the liddle boy had.