Quantcast

Attention parents!!!

How do you discipline your kids?


  • Total voters
    56

Quo Fan

don't make me kick your ass
When my son was growing up, we used time outs. We had a chair in the kitchen that was away from everything else that was called "the naughty chair". When he was bad, there was time in the chair. When he spent sufficient time in the chair, we would reason with him as to why he spent time in the chair. He had to understand why he was in the chair, and what he had to do to get out of the chair.

I only spanked him once, I think. He did take off from me at a mall once, and when I found him, I returned him to the car by his ear. He never did that again.
 

pixelninja

Turbo Monkey
Jun 14, 2003
2,131
0
Denver, CO
You have to find out what means works best for a particular child.
Very true. Timeouts work great with our oldest daughter. No need for physical discipline with her. Often giving her "the look" will put a stop to the bad behavior. Our second is quite different. If she's feeling especially ornery, she'll sit in timeout for eternity then get up and go right back to what she was doing. At times like this, a single controlled spank on the bottom, followed by love and a talk about what she did wrong will remedy the situation.

One thing that my wife and I are trying to instill in our children is that when we punish them, its not because of who they are, but rather their behavior. Its the difference between "You're bad!" and "Your actions are bad!" I never want them to think that I don't like them, but they better d*mn well know that I don't like their behavior.
 

geargrrl

Turbo Monkey
May 2, 2002
2,379
1
pnw -dry side
Young kids - one verbal warning, (if that) then discipline.

If you repeat yourself more than once the child will ignore you and keep up the BS.
It IS like training a dog. Say it once, not one thousand times.

Sit. SIT. sitsitsitsit sit. C'mon poopsie, sit for Mama. Sit!!! etc.
Some parents do the the same thing and it's just not effective.
The friend mentioned in the first post obviously is an ineffective parent and letting the kid run the show. Scary.

gg
 

Heath Sherratt

Turbo Monkey
Jun 17, 2004
1,875
0
In a healthy tension
Sup Donnie, long time no talkie. How's Canadia? I digress, I don't know what studies she has been reading but I have looked over a lot of Dr. James Dobson's Studies and he has found that swift, physical action in times of rebellion or disobedience are extremely effective. It does matter on the child and their temperment also. Elijah, my eldest is extremely compliant so it takes very little to get him to do anything I ask. Shiloh on the other hand is very strong willed and by his nature is resistant to any discipline. Through 6 years of parenting him I have found that he needs quick action and consistent discipline. He craves the structure and understands it. He knows that I love him and we talk about everything. Both of my kids understand cause and effect and have begun applying it to their lives already.
On a different note, I hate it when parents start counting to three, I hear that it gives the child a choice of when they will be obedient and gives them power over you, further blurring the lines of parent/child, but I have a friend that it works for. I have another parent that is physco-trained from St. Mary's and won't physically discipline her daughter, who is also my God daughter...she is a tyrant. At 3 years old she runs the house and Jazzy-the mom-is always at her wits end. It sucks to no end to watch it go down. Physical correction definitely has it's place but without relationship and explanation it does more damage than good. It's a fine line and it's all about loving that little kid with all that you are.
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,300
887
My own world inside my head
I didnt read all the Posts, and dont have children of my own yet, But I have done a great deal of the raising of my neice and Nephew, I what I will add is, If you start discipline early, they will continue to listen, but more than just discipline, there must be reward for doing good as well. When you "threaten" To spank your child, It is my opinion that you need to be ready to follow through, even if they apologize, they need to learn that even though they are"sorry" that its not just a word to get out of trouble, and that if you break the rules, you still get a punishment.

Now Discipline for My neice and Nephew has been everything from a time out, to being grounded, to taking all tehr toys away, and of coarse, The dreaded Paddle""". While I took no joy in doing so, when the time called for it, and I Had to discipline, I did. And now they are two Very well behaved children, who are a joy to have around other people. They know to respect adults, and to follow rules of someone elses home.




P.S. When I was young, Dad would make me go get the belt for him, Worst feeling ever just going to go get it.
 

Serial Midget

Al Bundy
Jun 25, 2002
12,737
1,427
Fort of Rio Grande
I haven't seen the results of the poll yet but I think that people who beat their children should be shot by their kids as soon as said beaten child discovers how to remove the trigger lock.
 

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,659
26
behind the viewfinder
I have another parent that is physco-trained from St. Mary's and won't physically discipline her daughter, who is also my God daughter...she is a tyrant. At 3 years old she runs the house and Jazzy-the mom-is always at her wits end. It sucks to no end to watch it go down. Physical correction definitely has it's place but without relationship and explanation it does more damage than good. It's a fine line and it's all about loving that little kid with all that you are.
'correction'...such a funny word to use.

story does not check out w/ me.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,975
34
This is the creepiest statement I have ever read on RM. Really. :twitch:
Not so creepy to me. My daughter is very self-disciplined but she also thrives in a structured environment where there is stability, rules, boundaries, etc.

Violence not required.

Most kids do well in this situation.

Before living with me she was with her druggy mom. Misery.
 

Serial Midget

Al Bundy
Jun 25, 2002
12,737
1,427
Fort of Rio Grande
I can't argue since I do not have children - I'll follow the prgress of L'oopie's spawn to see at what point a child craves the structure physical discipline provides.

Not so creepy to me. My daughter is very self-disciplined but she also thrives in a structured environment where there is stability, rules, boundaries, etc.

Violence not required.

Most kids do well in this situation.

Before living with me she was with her druggy mom. Misery.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,975
34
I can't argue since I do not have children - I'll follow the prgress of L'oopie's spawn to see at what point a child craves the structure physical discipline provides.
If the kicking is any indication, I might have a hyper child on the way. He/she seems to already be practicing prenatal kung fu.

We'll see how time-outs work.


:hmm:
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,975
34
BTW - and I think most parents on here would agree -

I don't condone beating your kids. But sometimes...I understand it.

:D
 

BMXman

I wish I was Canadian
Sep 8, 2001
13,854
0
Victoria, BC
Sup Donnie, long time no talkie. How's Canadia? (snip) Physical correction definitely has it's place but without relationship and explanation it does more damage than good. It's a fine line and it's all about loving that little kid with all that you are.
Everything is good so far thanks for asking. I just got a job so things are looking up. It's been over 1.5 years since I had a regular 9 to 5. I agree with you about physical discipline though...I just wish more parents thought along the same lines..D
 

X3pilot

Texans fan - LOL
Aug 13, 2007
5,861
1
SoMD
Sorry if this response was already posted but to make it quick, I'd vote all of the above minus the angel part.

A 12 year old boy with a smart assed attitude he inheritated from me and an Irish temper he got from his Mom.

It takes all of it some days...
 

manimal

Ociffer Tackleberry
Feb 27, 2002
7,214
14
Blindly running into cactus
we have to be very creative with our 3 kids. noah doesn't get spanked much anymore, he just loses priveleges. my 4 year old daughter still gets a pop on the butt once in a while, usually when we catch her lying and that one pop on the butt is more than enough for her and often, just the look or threat is enough to change her behavior.
my youngest daughter is a different story; i think she's immune to pain. she's a very intellectual 3 year old and she's really bad about sneaking food from the kitchen in blatant disobedience. she'll lie about it and try to hide the crime. the only time she cries or shows any remorse after physical punishment is when she is embarrased or realizes that she got caught. we found the best punishment for her when she can't keep her hands out of stuff is to simply tape her hands together for about 5 minutes...she can't stand the lack of control but her attitude changes dramatically afterward and she always give a sincere apology. it sounds strange and maybe a little macabre but we explain to her why we're doing it and the importance of controlling her actions.

that's parenting at the manimal house in a nutshell. on a side observation....something must be working because, at home, our kids usually act like barbarians but they are respectful and well mannered as soon as we step out in public.
 

urbaindk

The Real Dr. Science
Jul 12, 2004
4,831
0
Sleepy Hollar
Why not? Kids love that.
My sister-in-law and her husband let their baby sleep with them every night when he was a newborn. The theory is that you form a closer bond, it's easier to breast feed in the middle of the night, etc(google "cosleeping"). Well he's 3 now and still sleeps in their bed every night and I don't think Mom and Dad have had sex in 3 years.

When our son was first born, he wouldn't sleep, and I put him on my chest to try to sooth him. I fell asleep, of course because I was exhausted, he rolled off, and when my wife finally noticed, he was lucky to be alive because he was basically face first into the covers. He's been in his own craddle or crib ever since.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
29,919
2,709
Portland, OR
My sister-in-law and her husband let their baby sleep with them every night when he was a newborn. The theory is that you form a closer bond, it's easier to breast feed in the middle of the night, etc(google "cosleeping"). Well he's 3 now and still sleeps in their bed every night and I don't think Mom and Dad have had sex in 3 years.
Sort of OT, but this brings up a good point.

I used to work with a guy that had a "family bed". He and his wife had 3 kids and they all slept together in a HUGE custom made bed. My first thought was "How did you make 2 and 3 with 1 in the bed from the start?"

He would never answer the question. I'm not sure what's creepier, sleeping with 3 kids in the bed, or trying to do it with 3 kids in the bed?
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,183
1
TN
Sort of OT, but this brings up a good point.

I used to work with a guy that had a "family bed". He and his wife had 3 kids and they all slept together in a HUGE custom made bed. My first thought was "How did you make 2 and 3 with 1 in the bed from the start?"

He would never answer the question. I'm not sure what's creepier, sleeping with 3 kids in the bed, or trying to do it with 3 kids in the bed?
I know a guy who was breast fed until he was 3+ years old. He is, to this day, the most ****ed person I've ever known.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,975
34
He would never answer the question. I'm not sure what's creepier, sleeping with 3 kids in the bed, or trying to do it with 3 kids in the bed?

3 kids in the bed? Daddy will be sleeping alone out in the truck, thanks.
 

Red Rabbit

Picky Pooper
Jan 27, 2007
2,718
0
Colorado
Then why did you pick the person you are?
It's entertaining and educational.

Saying something easy or well agreed upon gets people nowhere. Being able to view peoples reactions and augments help me learn. Believe it or not, I have learned a lot from this web forum.
 

manimal

Ociffer Tackleberry
Feb 27, 2002
7,214
14
Blindly running into cactus
have you ever taken lil manimal's bike away? or used it as leverage?...D
once or twice but his bike stuff is usually more of a father/son time thing so i try not to mess w/ it too much. "hey noah, i'm going for a ride at _____, i was going to take you but you did _____ so now i'm going alone." that just seems a little meglomaniac-ish to me; thinking that a ride w/ dad i soooo important that he'll just change his ways. he gets the message much better when we take away playing airsoft with his friends.
 

Heath Sherratt

Turbo Monkey
Jun 17, 2004
1,875
0
In a healthy tension
that's parenting at the manimal house in a nutshell. on a side observation....something must be working because, at home, our kids usually act like barbarians but they are respectful and well mannered as soon as we step out in public.
Yeah, sometimes we wonder how we're doing and we always get rave reviews from teachers and other parents, that is such an awesome feeling, a little surprising sometimes...but so awesome.

It's so crazy being a parent, definitely the hardest "job" ever. You have to have real consistent boundaries and love the crap out of them while at times you want to run for the hills. I love my kids. They're amazing. I am so proud to be able to give them a life I never knew. They recognize it and really appreciate what we do for them, it's very gratifying when you hear that from your kids. Wouldn't change it for the World.
 

lovebunny

can i lick your balls?
Dec 14, 2003
7,239
35
San Diego, California, United States
ok. coming from a child who comes from a white trash trailer park beat your kids family, i will say that if my kids even come close to making the stupid mistakes i made i will slap their ass no matter how old they are. a quick slap is always better than jail time. i wish i got the same lesson. i just happened to get lucky with the whole jail thing