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Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BMXman, Feb 5, 2008.
does not compute.
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well on a side note my boy turns 17 in a week...where has all the time gone
My side note:
My wife and I are currently debating whether to:
1) Kill my daughter
2) Send her away to live with relatives
3) Donate her to science
I vote #2...it's always better to share the pain
Thankfully I don't have kids yet, but I'm in social work and currently do outpatient therapy for children and teens. Of course that means I do adult and family therapy too. The biggest thing I see is no back bone and no follow through. I get a lot of parents who feel guilty (like about a divorce) or think that their kids "need" the cell phone and car and money, etc... They don't follow through on consequences and never take stuff away, they just complain and bring them to see me because they can't control their kids.
I am of the mindset that kids do not need anything except a bed, dresser, and three meals a day. So when I have kids I plan on using spankings, explianing stuff as often as possible, and taking away things until they have nothing and they have to earn it all back. I also think that kids need a lot of exercise and activities, which a lot of parents that I see are too busy (or in some cases to lazy) to give their kids. If there isn't a positive outlet, they will find a negative one. I know it's a lot harder when you actually have them.
It's ironic that the therapist was unable to control her kid and get him to behave. Hopefully I'm not like that when (if??) I have kids.
#2 is the least likely. All the relatives on her mom's side are nuts and, as you might assume, so are mine.
My son turns 22 in May. He just got promoted to Kitchen Manager where he has been working as a chef for nearly a year now (before they opened). His old roommate is PISSED.
My son has never been to culinary school, but his old roommate owes Western Culinary Institute $45k in loans and is working as a prep chef (making half what Bman makes). He got Bman his first cooking job a few years ago.
Interesting thread. I don't have kids, but have a niece and some nephews and find it fascinating to watch the different parenting styles of my brothers and how the different temperments of the kids play into the equation.
One of my nephews is a so much like me as a kid it's scary. I of course just laugh at my brother as I know what a handful he is going to become not only from remembering how I was, but from the stories my mom has told me. I wasn't bad per se....I was "challenging" LOL!!! Basically if there was a loop hole, I'd find it, if you said something and then 5 months down the line say something slightly different, I'd call ya on it, if you told me to do something just "because" I needed a reason. (And people wonder why I don't want kids!!! )
One thing that my mom was very good about though was never putting a threat/consequences on the table she was not prepared to follow thru with. I responded very well to the "you disappointed" me also...where as my brother didn't give a **** so he got grounded, had privelages taken away alot more than I did.
So the challenge was then punishing us when we both did something as we responded differently...think the best one my mom came up with was making us kneel on the floor facing one another and not allowed to talk to each other, make faces, sit back on our knees, etc. Now that was cruel....all you wanted to do was reach across and beat the crap out of the person in front of you but things would be 100x's worse if you went down that path.
I give all you guys credit though who take on the challenge of becoming a parent because I can't even imagine how difficult it really is!
My wife works for the government as a mental health clinician for Family and Children's services and she has the same observations as as you....D
doesn't sound like that great a friend...he should be happy for him or at least asking him why he's moved up further than him...but maybe his pride is to strong for that. I went through a similar experience.
I only had a AA degree in Hotel Restaurant Management and was constantly being looked down upon by those who had attended the California Culinary Academy and other such institutions but were under me and still owed a lot of money in loans.....D
Here excuse is she thinks he's acting out because her marriage is in trouble...I'm not buying that though...D
Send her to live with n8. The ultimate punishment.
I'd rather kill her.
You'd have to beat her to it.
sorry to derail this even further but i can't resist.
threaten to travel back in time and have an abortion...
you will make a great parent some day
my youngest would be perfectly happy watching noggin all day long if we let her. a friend just donated his old swingset to us so now the tv stays off most of the day and my wife just sends the little monkies outside until they get hungry or frostbitten my wife stays at home and watches a 4 year old boy which works out well because he and my 4 year old daughter get along great and pretty much entertain themselves.
every once in a while i'll watch all 4 kids on my day off so my wife can go do her thing and man....dealing with 4 kids, 3 of which are your own, is no easy job! when my wife returns from her time off i usually apologize to her for being critical about the orderliness of the house when i'm at work. but yes, being a parent is by far the hardest yet most rewarding job i've ever had. it makes doing what i do at work seem like a vacation
oh yeah...i just remembered, we have an additional form of punishment...well, sort of. it mainly pertains to noah but if we tell him to do something and he refuses he can either have something taken away or, if he has a legitimate reason as to why he can't/shouldn't do what he was told he can fight me for the right to secede. i usually only pull that one out for nominal tasks like putting his bookbag where it belongs. sometimes he has a reason for it being on the floor like, "but i'm still doing my homework dad!" i'll let him fight me for the right to keep it on the floor if he can get in one good strike to my head before he can't take the beating anymore, he wins besides providing some quality father/son challenge time i think the underlying principle teaches him that it's ok to question authority as long as it's done tactfully and for good reason.
pic of noah losing the fight
and about to win the fight with a little mutinous help from his sister
Or a 67th trimester abortion.
So she's pregnant?
No. But she pisses off my pregnant wife to no end.
Cattiness in the H8R household. And you have another girl on the way don't you?
We don't know. My wife thinks it's a boy, but then again with my luck I'll be outnumbered even more.
But right now I live w/ a 16 year old girl and a pregnant woman.
My sister has 5 daughters. Her husband's life sucks, lucky for him he is deaf.
This has reminded me... I friend of mine back in the 80s had an interesting way to shut her two children up; she would tell her children "Mommy is dead right now and can't hear you."
It seemed to work.
Beat her with a wire coat hanger?
Give her PSP's AIM address and than threaten to send her to live with him if she doesn't behave. It should work.