Be careful when wrestling infants...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by H8R, Feb 23, 2009.

  1. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    I went to give my boy a raspberry on his tummy last night. With lightening speed and precision, he proceeded to jam his thumb up my nose and scrape the inside of my nostril with his sharp little thumb nail.

    It took more than ten full minutes to stop the bleeding.



    He's not even a year old yet.



    I'm in trouble.
     

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  2. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    Next it will be a shiv he fashioned out of a tooth brush.
     
  3. JohnE

    JohnE filthy rascist

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    You should be happy, some people train for years and never develop that combination of speed accuracy and lethality. And at less than one year, damn. Your wife may be part Ninja...
     
  4. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    If this is true he's been deep under cover.

    In the mornings he practices what I like to call, "Spazzercize", where he gets all hyper and rolls around on our bed bonking into the wall and falling off and climbing back on and trying to kick me in the face.

    He's had us fooled. He's been practicing hand-to-hand combat in secrecy.
     
  5. moff_quigley

    moff_quigley Why don't you have a seat over there?

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    Sounds like he's made a friend with one of your prized crack-whore pit fighting babies.
     
  6. sanjuro

    sanjuro Tube Smuggler

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    Put a 32 inch TV next to his crib...
     
  7. Jim Mac

    Jim Mac MAKE ENDURO GREAT AGAIN

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    My 18 month old now has an iron grip - he carries a full gallon of cider from one end of the house to the other. He recently inserted 2 fingers up my nostrils and proceeded to pretend as if my face was a bowling ball...I feel your pain!
     
  8. CBJ

    CBJ Turbo Monkey

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    Next on Fox "When Babies Attack"
     
  9. TreeSaw

    TreeSaw Mama Monkey

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    ROFL!!!! Syd managed to kick me in the nose one day, while I was wrestling with her, I saw stars and had a killer bloody nose for about 10 minutes. We're raising the next generation of warriors I tell you!
     
  10. TreeSaw

    TreeSaw Mama Monkey

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    Sweet! Sydney likes to try and exercise with the weights while Mommy is too...she's going to be stronger than me soon.
     
  11. Knuckleslammer

    Knuckleslammer took the red pill

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    wait till he wakes you up my jamming the sharp end of a pencil in your fvcking ear drum
     
  12. Arkayne

    Arkayne I come bearing GIFs

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    If you go face to face with my 6 month, he'll gently play with your face, clench some flesh and yank downwards. Damn Freddy Krueger. We have to file his nails often.
     
  13. jdcamb

    jdcamb Tool Time!

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    except for the 4y/o all my nieces can pin me in less then a minute. I can however pin the dog and both cats fairly easily. I am thinking of going professional Ala Andy Kaufman I am trying a get a guest spot on Letterman to promote my next bout but he won't answer my calls for some reason. Which sucks as I already paid for my tights and the store won't take them back. I have a cape and everything...
     
  14. mandown

    mandown Poopdeck Repost

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    this is why other animals eat the young.
     
  15. jerseydirt

    jerseydirt Turbo Monkey

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    your baby.
     

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  16. Ciaran

    Ciaran Fear my banana

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    I can't wait to make armour and weapons for my little girl! I look forward to her first kill. :cheers:
     
  17. jerseydirt

    jerseydirt Turbo Monkey

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    hopefully its a headshot. You should have an album and mark it (her first pink mist.)
     
  18. JohnE

    JohnE filthy rascist

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    Front Range, dude...
    Ever been nut-punched by a toddler? We only think it is an accident...